Grief, Baby medical termination.

I am so sorry for your daughter's loss and indeed your own. My eldest suffered four miscarriages. The first was the greatest by far. We did have a photo of the scan and will never forget what that baby looked like. They now have two children, healthy and happy. Try and think beyond this for your daughter and yourself. Think happy times will be ahead! .

So sorry for your loss

As for the fear to be able to have kids, I had two kids a little older than she is right now.

My daughter is unable to have children sadly, but a few of her friends had first time babies in their late 30 s and early 40 s and one had another baby at 43. All were healthy bonny babies.
It is very upsetting, for her and for you too, but it’s definitely not too late and hope that if there is a next time all goes well. I am sure it will.

Ive known a lot of women who have had 1st babys in their 40s . Its not too late.

This is a very sad time for all of you MsLioness and each of you need time to grieve. You sound like a lovely caring Mother who wants to protect her Daughter. When your Daughter is ready you can sit down and talk together and share your feelings. In the meantime take care of yourself and see if you can find someone to talk to perhaps a good friend or anyone that you feel comfortable with. Sending kind thoughts your way .

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. How sad for your lovely daughter and all your family.
This happened to my next door neighbour some years ago. I think she told me because she knew I wouldn’t gossip in the road.
I know that she made a memory box for the baby she would have had. She placed in it a little toy, a letter to the baby, and a Mass card in the baby’s name as she knew what she’d wanted to call her child. She had a Mass of the Angels said at a local convent. They sent a beautiful Mass card.
Maybe in time something like this might help you and your daughter. ?

I'm so sorry for your loss, sending kindest thoughts to you and your daughter
I am another who has been in your position and it hurts like hell, so happy to share with you that not one but two beautiful babies were born safely after that loss

You never forget the one who didn’t make it.

I am so sorry for your loss. And it is a loss of all the hopes you had for your grandchild since the day your daughter told you she was pregnant. Don't let anyone minimise the grief you are feeling for the baby and the pain at seeing your own child upset. Too many times people ,even friends,will same the wrong words. Maybe because years ago we were told to forget these little ones who weren't strong enough for the world. Or comments that it was only 12 weeks. But it was your grandchild and you are entitled to feel that sorrow. Perhaps that's why you don't want to tell people in real life because you don't trust their responses. You don't have to tell anyone,just go on your own time line.

Fortunately I have never been through a trauma like this , so can only imagine your pain . Your daughter needs her Mum right now and I am sure you are there for her. Telling her she may well have another baby won't help her at this moment , she doesn't want another she wants the one she is grieving for. However in time she may well have a second child that will never replace the lost one but may help to heal. I am so sorry you are having to cope with such tragic news and I know you will be at your daughters side to comfort and support her. I can understand you feel lost and not sure how to cope ,but the love you have for your daughter will enable you to be at her side . My daughter had two miscarriages and a very unstable third pregnancy resulting in a premature birth . My granddaughter is now a happy healthy 6 year old ! Sending you and your daughter ' hugs' You will find the strength to support her.

I am so sad for you and your daughter especially. But just to say my daughter got pregnant at 38 and some in her prenatal group were into their 40s.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m trying to support a friend who is in a very similar position to you right now and it’s a gruelling challenge for a grandmother, to support their child whilst coping with their own grief. My friend is finding the impossibly of ‘making everything right’ for the expectant parents very hard. As parents, we feel it’s our duty to protect our children from hurt, but sometimes it just can’t be done.

In this case, it probably was the last chance of a baby, but I very much hope that isn’t the case for your daughter.

Hugs to you and your daughter MsLioness.

My mother never got over the baby that did not make it, how much worse it would have been if that had been her only pregnancy. I feel for you both.

You have Gransnet to turn to. Perhaps suggest to your daughter that she has a look at the special sections on Mumsnet where she can discuss her situation with people going through the same anguish.

A virtual hug for you both.

My friend’s grand daughter has just had a termination. She had a scan to reveal the gender and it revealed serious abnormalities meaning a poor quality of life for the baby. They decided it wasn’t fair on their other children or the baby. Only the parents can make such a difficult decision, the long term implications have to be considered carefully. So difficult for everyone.

back in november 1959 my sister's dear little 3 month old baby became ill and died of acute leukemia......It was a devastating time for my sister and the rest of the family who had all cuddled the baby girl...

Heartfelt sympathy to you and your family, such a tragic thing to happen.[

I am so sorry for you all. When a miscarriage, medical termination or stillbirth happens it is devastating for so many people. The SANDS group are experts in this field. They will be able to provide information for you on local help groups and how to cope and support your daughter and also yourself. You are grieving for your grandchild. Take care of yourself.

I’m so sorry MsLioness, my heart goes out to you all. Something similar happened in our family earlier this year, a devastating time.