Weddings where children are not invited

Thanks, Doodledog!

I think that it can be awkward for families when all the babysitters are going to the wedding and the ones with the babies have nobody to look after them; but so long as the bride and groom acknowledge that, and understand that people might have to say no, it is their choice

Exactly Doodledog My niece got so much flack because she wouldn't go to a friend's wedding that would involve being away from her breastfeeding baby overnight and preferably two nights. She was advised she could pump extra milk to be bottle fed to the baby by its grandparent if she was too "precious" to give him formula. Not surprisingly she said she regretted missing the wedding but those alternatives were not an option. She was called insensitive and selfish, oh the irony!

Rosie51

^I think that it can be awkward for families when all the babysitters are going to the wedding and the ones with the babies have nobody to look after them; but so long as the bride and groom acknowledge that, and understand that people might have to say no, it is their choice^

Exactly Doodledog My niece got so much flack because she wouldn't go to a friend's wedding that would involve being away from her breastfeeding baby overnight and preferably two nights. She was advised she could pump extra milk to be bottle fed to the baby by its grandparent if she was too "precious" to give him formula. Not surprisingly she said she regretted missing the wedding but those alternatives were not an option. She was called insensitive and selfish, oh the irony!

This is exactly what happened to me too. Called up by MIL and asked why I couldn't give the baby a bottle. Reasons: baby had never had a bottle and I didn't know if he would take it. I can't pump. High rate of dairy allergies in the family so I didn't want to give formula if I didn't have to. Baby was tiny and not feeding for a full day would have been painful and leaky at that stage. It's important to keep nursing for milk supply to keep up. So I was selfish (not), put my baby first and didn't go. No regrets.

When my brother in law got married my husband was best man and my future sister in law said no children.As we had a six week old baby at the time there was an ultimatum,no children no best man.Baby was allowed! As it happened people from the village came to watch,went into church and took their children in with them,who screamed,banged around and were a complete pest.

They are entitled to put whatever limits they like on their wedding but they should not be surprised or complain when people say no sorry we are not coming. Nor should those that decide not to go feel any guilt.

Rosie51

^I think that it can be awkward for families when all the babysitters are going to the wedding and the ones with the babies have nobody to look after them; but so long as the bride and groom acknowledge that, and understand that people might have to say no, it is their choice^

Exactly Doodledog My niece got so much flack because she wouldn't go to a friend's wedding that would involve being away from her breastfeeding baby overnight and preferably two nights. She was advised she could pump extra milk to be bottle fed to the baby by its grandparent if she was too "precious" to give him formula. Not surprisingly she said she regretted missing the wedding but those alternatives were not an option. She was called insensitive and selfish, oh the irony!

Oh, so easy to get a breast fed baby to take a bottle - not!

Not to mention that those who have never needed to do it, often seem to think that expressing breast milk is a doddle - like turning on a tap.
Even my dd, whose supply has always been bountiful, did not find it easy when she had to do it, since 4 month old Gds was in the ICU, sedated and tube fed because of a bad case of bronchiolitis.

Late to this thread but just wanted to add my opinion. I got married over 40 years ago, came from a big family with loads of cousins on both sides, aunts, uncles etc. No way of not inviting the lot, would have been very much frowned on, talked about, caused ructions etc. However, one cousin was autistic and screamed non stop throughout the ceremony. Nobody took her outside. She ruined it, no question. Subsequently, other cousins adopted the no children policy. I didn’t have to ask why!

My first marriage, in the 70’s, was “young child free”. It was a pretty small wedding, and I wanted only adults or older children at the venues, for the wedding and the celebration afterwards..

My second wedding, 15 years ago, was also child free, as we had a small wedding, and then took all the guests to a nice hotel for a meal. It wasn’t suitable for children, so none were invited. Our children (adult) made alternative arrangements for the grandchildren.

No one got upset.