Do you think 4 children is a ‘big family?’

It wasn't but it is now.
I was one of 4, my husband 1 of 5.
Unusually, my parents only had 1 sibling between them.
Now we're doing our bit for 'climate change' by only having 1 child between us.
Makes me laugh when I see people complaining that people aren't doing enough about 'climate change' but have umpteen kids that will go on to use more resources than our little family ever will, despite having (horror of horrors) a diesel powered vehicle.

I'm somewhat shocked, how many of you still think it's ok to have several children.
It's not just the climate and resources, but what kind of world will these children grow up in?
So many refugees fleeing intolerable conditions, crowding into the spaces available. But sadly, their arrival, in what they hope are safe spaces, brings about ever more conflict and hatred.
Even in 1972, when we got married, I thought the world was not a good place for children, with the cold war conflict going on.
20 years later, when I accidentally got pregnant, things seemed a bit better, but now?
And, as far too few of you said, the lungs of our planet are systematically destroyed to make room for 'economic growth'
No wonder more and more of us are struggling to breathe healthy air and suffering from lung diseases.
It just Can't go on.

I'm with you Kandinsky I think Anything over 6 is a big family
I was an only child and hated it. I once wrote a list of how
many children I could have (1 every 9 months from 18 - 40)
and named them all. I was about 8. Ended up not being able to have any but that is how life goes.

No I don't think 4 children is a big family. But these days more than 6 probably is.

We had three children, and each of them has 3 children. But one son & DIL are expecting their 4th child in a few months. They have had similar amazed, even horrified, reactions from friends and other parents.

I remember several large families in our neighbourhood when I was a child, one family had 14 children. Their homes were often chaotic but they all seemed as happy as Larry. Being an 'only child' in our household I envied them.

Yes in this day and age 4 children is a big family. We are over-populated with the world's resources becoming scarcer and scarcer. I think there should be no more than 3 kids to a family, and I fully support this governments cap on child benefit for more than 2 kids. Think of the environment.

In these overpopulated times four is a big family. The environmentalists say we should now only replace ourselves, so a couple can have two children. If they split up and remarry and the new partner has no children the new couple can have one child, otherwise no more.
It does sound very Chairman Mao but perhaps that’s what the world has come to.
I’m the eldest of eight by the way!

I'd say that it all depends on your finances AND your parenting capabilities!

If you've got enough money to be able to bring them up within your - and their - expectations, that's brilliant!

If you, and your husband, are good parents - ie working from the same song-sheet as regards 'standards and expectations' - then it's nobody else's business!

I’m youngest of 4….. my mother was youngest of 3…my father was youngest of 6 ( 5 older sisters)…… my husband eldest of 3…. My grandmother “ somewhere in the middle of 13”. I had 2 ….my daughter has 2.
My sister just ten years older than me decided to have 4. We all think 4 would be the limit to ‘ordinary’ numbers of children.

Nowadays, yes, unless you can be totally independent not using any public resources for two. The world, the UK, especially England is massively overpopulated already. I had determined if I had children it would be two. However second pregnancy produced twins. All those years ago I felt guilty. Dd decided not to have children, DS x 2 only have 1 each and not intending to have any more, all due to overpopulation. People should look at demands on education, health services,housing, water supply, when considering size of family.

I would have loved to have had four children but sadly finances did not permit so I just have three. As someone here says, family units are perceived as four and have been for some time so it made it a little awkward (and expensive!) sometimes. My daughter has four, two from her previous partner, her partner has one of his own (who lives with them) and one together. As ‘blended’ families become very much more of the norm these days, I can only look on with wonder (and a little envy tbh) at how large families get!

Short answer Yes it is these days

Yes, pretty big. At least for nowadays.

I have 2 DC, but their stepmum has 7 and another friend has 9.
In this day & age, I think I'm in the minority at only having 2!!

Yes. The world is over populated, and we are running out of resources. We took the conscious decision to only have 1 child.
Large families in previous times were I think an insurance against the inevitable deaths which resulted from poor social conditions, nutrition, health facilities etc.
My DH is one of 5 children and his father openly said he had had a large family so that he would have enough to take care of him in his old age, I guess a sentiment valid in previous times.

To answer the poster's question: Yes I do think that in the UK, four children is a big family.

can't

I think people should have as many children as they want but not expect the state to provide. There are many hard working, tax paying people who would love to have more children but make the decision not to because they can' afford them.

My DF was 1 of 8, though I think that Grandma had at least 2 other children who died soon after birth. He didn't want to repeat the experience of a big family, hence I am 1 of 2.

DH is the eldest of 7, and his dad was the eldest of 11. Only 1 of DH's siblings has 4 kids, the rest have 1 or 2. DH only wanted 2, which is what we have got. I sometimes think that another would have been nice but my 2nd pregnancy was very difficult, and I was warned not to have any more. Also we didn't have much money and we didn't want the kids to be short of anything because the budget was having to be stretched.

My eldest DD has 4 kids. My other DD has 3 and sometimes talks about having another. DH could not understand why they weren't satisfied with 2 each but, of course, he loves all our DGC now that they are here.

On the world population review site four looks to be about median.

I think I lean, with the OP, to 6+ as being 'big' in today's world.

A wee note: those figures given in the link above are of "fertility rate" which I understand as being how many babies a woman has, not necessarily how many survive to produce babies themselves.

I think that 4 is a big family. My mum was one of 11 and my paternal grandparents both one of 13 children but that was then. There's nothing disparaging about viewing 4 as a big family, just think it is.

I think the world is already overpopulated so 4 is too many. For those who say it’s ok if you can afford it, does that mean affording private school/health etc? Otherwise the rest of us pay for them. Both dh and myself are from larger families and suffered poverty in our childhood hence our decision to have only two.

I went to school with a girl who was one of 13 children. Her mother died of an uncontrollable heamorrage having her 13th baby. 4 Childer is not a big family in my humble opinion.

I would have loved 4 but stopped at 3. Glad I did because between the three of them there's not much affection and sometimes it's nasty. One feels the others don't care and one feels I have a favourite. Neither of that is true. People have their own lives to lead. Have as many children as you can afford that's my motto.

I have four children (now grown up with families of their own). It's great. My grandchildren all see each other regularly. I provide childcare and we spend as much time together as possible.

None of my children want more than two children of their own. Nowadays, it seems that financially, emotionally and socially, two is a good number for them. It's a very personal choice. I wanted four children and was lucky enough to have them. Each to their own.

Times have changed so much since I first became a mum.

I had 3 DD’s (one more than we planned!) and I know that was my absolute limit?.
I am not a natural mother and have had to work really hard to be half decent at the job! I was an only child and so were both my parents, so I had very little knowledge of children and was a tiny grown up as a child very sensible and bookish!
I didn't feel like 3 was a large family, although perhaps on the far end of normal, and nobody ever seemed to think 3 was a lot!
I had one friend who had 6 when mine were little, and then when they were in their late teens went on to produce 3 more! A second family really.
A girl from my office has now got 6 she had 4 when she started work with us and then after a divorce remarried to a man who had no children but was desperate for some of his own hence the last two.
I have 6 grandchildren, 2 from DD1, DD2 has had one and probably wont have more and DD3 has 3 and thats her limit.