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House proud people

(244 Posts)
etheltbags1 Thu 19-Aug-21 10:06:05

I'm beginning to hate House proud people, not for their homes but for the way they try to convert me. I'm not House proud, hate routine and cleaning. However my home is clean where and when necessary, loo cleaned daily, kitchen bleached often etc. My aunt (91) told me I don't deserve a home if I don't keep cleaning, she does her cupboards monthly. She reckons I should be in care home. Another relative spends all day cleaning and tries to put me down very scornfully. My mother cant do as much as she used to but moans about how she would like to do more, I keep telling her ways to cut corners to make life easier but she thinks if something is difficult that's better. I'm at my wits end, I have a friend who is like me we are both working past retirement and hate housework and just do it when necessary, she keeps me sane but how can i stop these holier than thou people who seem to want to get me to be a slave to bricks and mortar. They really believe they are right. Help

Gwenisgreat1 Tue 07-Sept-21 11:09:34

Years ago a friend used to tell me she loved coming to my house, because it was homely, I translated that to cluttered and untidy - nothings changed, It's impossible for me to be tidy - I have tried and failed!! It's the way I am, love me or leave me!!

Estrellita Tue 07-Sept-21 10:44:30

I agree with Germanshepherdsmum. I wonder how many people say on their deathbeds that they wished they had done more dusting. I won't for sure.

M0nica Thu 26-Aug-21 08:09:53

The French have a word for it (or rather several) Chacun a son gout - each to his taste.

Having said that, we are back in our house in France after a 14 month gap. Currently I am a domestic goddess. One room is being thoroughly turned out every day, as everything is damp, after a year without heating, beds and bedding need airing and washing, there are dead flies everywhere and we have had a mouse, only one I think, but his/her little droppings can be found everywhere plus nibbled loo paper, a nibbled pillow case and nibbled nuts in one bed and more nibbled nuts under the kitchen scales.

Must go, today is scour the kitchen day!

Callistemon Wed 25-Aug-21 11:01:12

Yes, we get the sheaths of the new buds, then this tree has white flowers which drop off, then the leaves. Lots of twigs get blown off in high winds although we had it checked and two branches taken off by a tree surgeon.

Witzend Wed 25-Aug-21 08:55:43

Callistemon

I cleaned downstairs yesterday but the hall is full of leaves again - I failed to vacuum the tree outside.

I have similar earlier in the year - endless ‘bits’ * blown or trodden in, from the mature beech tree very close to the house, when the new leaves are appearing.
*presumably the little brown sheaths of the leaf buds.

At the moment the back lawn is littered with beech mast shells - squirrels are very busy scoffing them, aided by local parakeets. But at least they don’t get blown or trodden in.

Callistemon Tue 24-Aug-21 14:53:12

Everyone's leaves, as well as our own, seem to blow towards our front door or, for a change, in front of the garage door Amberone!!
Autumn's not here yet ???

Amberone Tue 24-Aug-21 14:50:22

Callistemon

I cleaned downstairs yesterday but the hall is full of leaves again - I failed to vacuum the tree outside.

I know that feeling Callistemon ☹️

We have a large oak tree about 30 feet from our front door and these days we always seem to have a collection of leaves in the porch. It won't be long before the acorns start dropping and there will be a constant tap-tap-tap as they hit the drive and bang-bang-bang as they hit the car.

Longrunkaren Tue 24-Aug-21 11:16:23

I have a cleaner, but I am quite tidy anyway. She comes for 3 hours a week and does the jobs I never get round to, like dusting skirting boards, plus any jobs I specify, like cleaning the oven. Mind you, I live alone in a small house, so nothing every gets really out of control.

It frees me up to do the things that make life worthwhile...

Callistemon Tue 24-Aug-21 10:02:15

I cleaned downstairs yesterday but the hall is full of leaves again - I failed to vacuum the tree outside.

Lucca Tue 24-Aug-21 07:13:35

Two hours housework? Every day? Must have a huge house with lots of people,living in it.

crazyH Tue 24-Aug-21 00:54:33

My friend/ neighbour wakes at 5a.m and all housework is completed by 7a.m., when I am just stirring. She is so organised . I wish I was.

Callistemon Mon 23-Aug-21 22:47:32

varian

Callistemon

Oh, and they were really interesting and good company too ?

Perhaps we just have to accept that there are some people blessed with colossal amounts of energy and as a result, they do everything better than us.

Probably, varian although they said they haven't been able to go dancing three times a week since Covid so perhaps they have energy to spare!

MissAdventure Mon 23-Aug-21 18:17:20

Or, conversely, some people live in sh*tholes and don't care, and therefore they are better than us?
Honestly, none of it matters.
Domestic duties are not worth the fuss, one way or the other. (And I never see men having these conversations)

varian Mon 23-Aug-21 18:04:53

Callistemon

Oh, and they were really interesting and good company too ?

Perhaps we just have to accept that there are some people blessed with colossal amounts of energy and as a result, they do everything better than us.

Callistemon Mon 23-Aug-21 16:08:49

Oh, and they were really interesting and good company too ?

Callistemon Mon 23-Aug-21 16:08:02

Jaibee007

Life is short, and there are a million more interesting things to do than housework - as I live alone I only apply basic hygiene to the kitchen and bathroom, rarely hoover and am good at ignoring piles of clothes etc and just going out - I find "houseproud" women are usually massive bores who are missing the bigger picture - the only time I put in a few hours is if there is any danger of a visitor whose opinion I care about ?

I've just been for coffee to someone's house and come home slightly down in the dumps as mine needs a good clean and tidy up (usually a Monday job).
The house was immaculate, more modern than ours, the garden was beautiful and they do it all themselves.
They seemed to have a great social life (pre-Covid), a happy family life and good holidays, belong to local clubs and societies where they take an active part. They'll be getting back into the swing of all this as long as we're allowed.
He's 88 and she's 86!

Amberone Mon 23-Aug-21 13:22:59

I find "houseproud" women are usually massive bores who are missing the bigger picture - the only time I put in a few hours is if there is any danger of a visitor whose opinion I care about

Unlike those of us who are boring but live our lives to suit ourselves, not other people ?

Such nonsense to make judgements about people based on how much housework they say they do.

If we draw a line between 'Really Slutty' and 'Germophobe' we are all at different places on that line at different points in our lives depending on our jobs, families, houses, incomes, and general circumstances. I would like to think I am more towards the 'Germophobe' these days but when I had a career and young children to think of I was probably closer to the other end. Although I would think being right at either end is unhealthy.

Sara1954 Mon 23-Aug-21 09:55:06

Lucca
Agree

Lucca Mon 23-Aug-21 09:53:34

Jaibee007

Life is short, and there are a million more interesting things to do than housework - as I live alone I only apply basic hygiene to the kitchen and bathroom, rarely hoover and am good at ignoring piles of clothes etc and just going out - I find "houseproud" women are usually massive bores who are missing the bigger picture - the only time I put in a few hours is if there is any danger of a visitor whose opinion I care about ?

I don’t think that’s entirely fair. I know interesting women who have messy homes and interesting women who have tidy homes.

What is boring is banging on about cleaning.

BlueBelle Mon 23-Aug-21 09:45:31

Oh I can’t be cleaning every day how much dirt does one person make !
I wash and put away the dishes a couple of times a day I always make my bed what else is there to do ?
I always thought Quentin Crisp s remarks were a gem
I have a good friend nine years older than me who cleans and cleans every day ( she does do other things as well ) and has a spotless perfect bungalow for just herself, but how much of that is necessary it all seems a total waste of time and so soul destroying to me to have to redo the same thing every day

Sara1954 Mon 23-Aug-21 09:43:38

Other people’s homes

Sara1954 Mon 23-Aug-21 09:42:58

I don’t think it’s a matter of caring what other people think, because I don’t.
It’s a personal thing, I can’t bear piles of stuff everywhere, I can’t relax if things are not put away, if I sit down in the evening, I have to be in a neat, clean environment.
It’s just me, but I don’t go into other peoples and pass judgment, up to all of us how we want to live.

Anniebach Mon 23-Aug-21 09:29:31

My elder granddaughter was very upset, she overheard her
paternal grandmother say X doesn’t keep her house very tidy.

My granddaughter has for some time been working 7.00am
to 7.00pm 6 days a week, property lawyer .

I am cross stitching her a sampler

‘A Tidy House is a sign of an Empty Life’

Jaibee007 Mon 23-Aug-21 09:13:33

Life is short, and there are a million more interesting things to do than housework - as I live alone I only apply basic hygiene to the kitchen and bathroom, rarely hoover and am good at ignoring piles of clothes etc and just going out - I find "houseproud" women are usually massive bores who are missing the bigger picture - the only time I put in a few hours is if there is any danger of a visitor whose opinion I care about ?

GagaJo Sun 22-Aug-21 21:52:08

Yup!! My experience too with a messy daughter. Yes, I'm sure 3 children is a whole different ball game. I'm not sure how old you are, but for me, hopefully I have another 15 years or so, and will later look back on this time as a pleasure.