Where did my confidence go?

Totally understand how you feel Bluebells. Last Summer I felt anxious driving 2 miles to sit in a friend's garden for a couple of hours! This year, after further restrictions, I've felt the same anxiety prior to very tame social interactions. It will take time to get back to 'normal'.

I am experiencing the same sort of anxiety myself.
Apart from a few occasions, I have always been quite happy to travel using public transport around the country on my own for years, but the first outing I had for nearly 2 years, was to have my vaccination, and that was with my son driving me.
Since then, even just a short bus trip into town causes me to feel really stressed - and I used to quite happily do the same trip 6 days a week!
Right now, I would be quite happy to stay at home for good and am currently looking for a job that I can do remotely just so, apart from the odd shopping/ hairdressing trip, I can do just that!
I feel that my face mask is a bit of a shield and makes me feel almost invisible! Am I the only one to hide behind their mask ?

Having not travelled for so long is anxiety provoking. I recently went to a local town which I hadn't been to for 18 months. I ended up in the wrong lane on a 3 lane roundabout and had to take an alternate route. I couldn't believe that I hadn't remembered to get in the correct lane approaching it. Then when I was changing lanes a car shot by my inside and shook me a bit. However yesterday I drove somewhere I hadn't been before (mainly rural driving) and although worried on the outset felt much more confident on the return. I suppose it's a matter of taking small steps to build up confidence again. I have booked a singles holiday for next summer and am already worrying about it but I do feel I can't let anxiety rule my life.

I have similar concerns about my courage to do normal trips. I also had verbal and emotional abuse in which I was constantly told I could do nothing right yet a lot was demanded of me.

I hope we can all get over these fears

I completely understand how you are feeling ? I have booked to go to Ireland at the end of October to see my 86 year old mum. I haven’t seen her for 2 years but I’m terrified to travel through the airport and on to the plane. I really hope you can enjoy your trip, and safe travels xx

So reassured to know that I'm not the only one. My sister in BC, Canada is pressing me to visit and I would love to go but the thought of the journey terrifies me, despite being a seasoned traveller. Pre pandemic a friend and I used to visit various places of interest on an almost weekly basis but I keep on putting it off for the same reason (she doesn't drive). This thread is encouraging me to pluck up courage and I am going to ring her now to suggest an outing!

I am in a similar situation, bluebelle. In 10 days’ time I have to take a morning flight abroad, then a coach/bus to my destination. Still haven’t booked the coach seat, and I realise that I’m piling up jobs here instead of doing them, then telling myself how much the garden needs me, how much housework has to be done, etc. A trip I normally made every 10 weeks or so is looming very very large and I feel twenty years older than I am. Luckily, I have activities to look forward to at the other end, my friends over there don’t know how I’m feeling, and my son at this end will help me acquire all the necessary Covid tests.
It’s so reassuring to know that someone else feels/felt as inadequate and angry with themselves that I might even tackle some housework! Many thanks, & well done for getting through it. ??

Yes anything slightly out of my normal routine gives me extreme butterflies. Do Kalms help? Like the word fragile too.

BlueBelle, your post was very relevant as I'm gearing up for a trip abroad which I used to do twice a year with no problems. I'm having nightly anxiety attacks. My husband has just given me something to think about - remember this is supposed to be fun. I'm going to see if I can put that slant on the whole thing. I'm glad your trip went well and thanks for posting. It's been helpful to know I'm not the only one in this position.

I commiserate with you Blue belle and feel exactly the same when I have to do anything that has not been the norm for 18 months. Even a trip to the local hospital threw me.Flying I think you are very brave and hope the experience liberates you from this lockdownitus a lot of us have.
Best of luck.

Tomorrow I’m going to pick up new glasses and then I have a dental appointment and I’ve got butterflies already

I was very unsettled at first when it hit me that things I used to do automatically had to be relearned. After lockdown I drove off to meet a friend at a usual meeting place only 4 miles from home. I got to a roundabout and had to go round it three times thinking "Where the hell am I? I don't recognise any of this?" I arrived feeling very trembly having completely lost the plot while in charge of a moving vehicle!

gill you have hit the nail on the head it’s not fear of Covid at all I know that’s still around but I m not at all nervous about that. Its anything out of my norm sends me in a spin

The journey did go ok thanks to all those wishing me well it was complicated but went smoothly and thanks to my eldest daughter at home who literally did all the online stuff bookings and CoviD forms for me which seemed terribly difficult to me, but up to a couple of years ago I would have been doing them for all the others
I seem absolutely fine pottering around with everything familiar I m confident in my job, with my friends, going out and about where I know, but this threw me it felt so alien so unknown, so muddled, that I could have swore I d got Alzheimer’s over night

It’s very comforting to hear I m not alone though and I really do thank you for your replies

I feel the same. I don't think it is fear of covid19 itself, it is more a loss of confidence which has ben creeping up over the past few years, but supressed. The lack of 'having to do it' over the past couple of years, has, I think, meant my anxiety has taken over. I used to jump in the car and drive anywhere, now anything out of my usual environs makes me very anxious. It has often been said that I am very like my grandmother in personality, flattering mostly, but I do remember her being an extremely nervous and anxious person, so I am trying very hard to tackle these fears head on.

I can relate to the anxiety and the “can’t be bothered” . I seem to have lost all motivation to do anything and I admire all you people heading off on trains. I gave up the underground before the pandemic though, so last time I went up to London I got a bus from Paddington to Victoria.

How ever hard you have found it Bluebell you did it. I hope you have an enjoyable time and a good, less stressful return journey.

I can identify with your post as I had very similar feelings of anxiety a couple of months back when DD2 told me some of our "cancelled things" were back on.

She sorted train tickets to London, an over night stay, restaurant booking, seeing a show then a day in Geenwich.

I was surprised by how much self talk I did in the days leading up to the trip even though I hadn't had to make any of the arrangements.

I loved what we did but it was a mixed bag of being OK and feeling the anxiety jitters.

I've done a couple of things with family or friends since and it's been better but not as easy as it used to be.

I've yet to do anything significant on my own and that will be the real test of how much confidence I am getting back or have lost.

I feel silly now as I used to drive anywhere, get on trains and planes without more than the check before leaving the house that I had passport, tickets and funds and off I'd go. Now I have to tell myself "I Can Do This".

What's surprised me about myself is the number of times I'm not doing things because I can no longer be bothered. I don't know when that crept in but I don't even know now if I am that fussed about trying to give myself a shake. May be connected to 'confidence' so I'll have a look at that.

A very interesting, thought provoking and reassuring post, thank you Bluebell all you other posters.

I felt the same before my first train journey but it went fine. I feel the same every time I have to go on the motorway. I'm just hoping it will subside,it's horrible feeling this apprehension every time,I haven't told my childrn.

By the way it’s not a physical thing it’s a mental block of some sort

I f

I’m going on a four day trip next week Thursday to Monday just going to see my daughter.l used to get the train from Barnstaple to Exeter,Exeter to Paddington then 2 undergrounds and an overground to get to Saint Albans however I feel I can’t do that now and the last time I went up and this time Jess will be picking me up at Reading so it’s only change in Exeter and getting off at Reading. I have no idea why I feel like this all of a sudden that being said I have never been a great traveller at any time in my life…

Big hugs Bluebelle at least you are brave enough to try, have a lovely time.

I'm putting off going to London on the train, I'm not sure my legs are up to the long walks and escalators of my Kings Cross/Ealing Broadway journey. Far too much sofa sitting for me, although I do walk my dog three times a day.

I'm sure once I start it will be OK, I've been otherthinking it.

Bluebelle you are not alone. I had lost all confidence in my ability to drive anywhere that I didn't know, but one of my daughters lives in Kent and I am in Essex. Twice now I have driven there and back, on the dreaded M25 and through the Dartford Tunnel which I have always hated.

Once I am in the car I am fine and my nerves cease, I think it is the anticipation that is the problem. I don't like driving with DH in the car as I get flustered.

I find I am anxious about so many things that didn't use to worry me and I hate feeling like this.

I hope your journey has gone well and that you have a wonderful time, wherever you have gone xxx

Exactly the same here Bluebelle. I'm having to psyche myself up to go anywhere. Good luck, I'm sure you will be fine.

In sorry to hear that Kate1949. My reply was to BlueBelle.

Your confidence hasn't gone, it's being repressed by the ongoing situation.
What would be weird would be to breeze around as if nothing's changed.