Did you ever see your mum cry other than at the death of someone.

During mum’s last illness she was in hospital and I went to visit. I had to wait a while and when I was finally allowed in her room she had obviously been crying. I think she had realised her end was nigh. She was a nurse so would have known what was happening.

Sounds similar to my mum Ladyleft

No never. Not even when my brother died aged 26

She was brought up to have a stiff upper lip and was told if anyone asked how she was to always answer "fine thank you"

I came home from work to find my mother weeping holding a letter, she told me it was for my older sister from the ante natal clinic, I was 15 and didn't know what the ante natal clinic was. she has to explain

Yes when I was a child, usually in relation to her elderly parents in rural Ireland. When a letter arrived from “home” she’d often shed a few tears reading it and think we hadn’t noticed. Then she’d quickly pull herself together and carry on as normal.

My mum cried at the slightest thing, anything sad or happy, tears of emotion. She would pull her apron over her face: she knew she was overreacting.
The only time I saw her really cry was when she was desperately short of money.

Yes - a few times. She was quite an emotional person and felt things very deeply, but she didn’t cry for no reason. I made her cry once when I was about 10 and I made a personal comment about the shape of her nose. She must have been sensitive about it, although I think now that there was nothing wrong with the shape of her nose! I was being very rude to her - don’t know why. She died a few years ago, bless her. The fact that I said that and that it upset her, still haunts me to this day. I had no filter as a youngster and I don’t much like my younger self

Only once in 70 yrs and that was when she realised she had to decide to return to nursing home after a trial of being back in her own home. She told me of seeing her own mother cry only once too and that was in 1930's when her husband's wage was to be cut as a result of Great Depression. They had four children by then.

No I never saw my mother cry not even when my father died. I was like a wailing banshee at her funeral so I guess I did not take after her.

nexus63 such a hard situation for you to be in and for your mother too. I do hope healing went on afterwards.

Only once, when Daddy died when I was nine.

Never saw mum cry. She kept everything inside. The day dad died, mum looked as if she'd been crying but I didn't see it. Crying in our house was seen as weakness. If I cried I had to go to my room and come back when I'd finished!

Gosh all these stiff upper lips make me feel inadequate! I cried in front of the children as did my mother in front of me quite regularly! Maybe I should have been more restrained, I envy people who have the strength of character to hide when then they are upset as all these mothers mainly did. I on the other hand cry at tbe drop of a hat and laughter often ends in tears too ?

When my Dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer. It was a terminal diagnosis after emergency surgery - the beginning of the 1980’s when there wasn’t much in the way of treatment. Mum was 48 and dad was 50. He died a year later.

Yes and usually because of my bad tempered father. I hated to see it as a child, I adored my mum. As we got older and left home we stood up to him a lot more, but I'm sure she got it worse when we left. Sometimes if she heard The Old Rugged Cross, which was her mother's favourite hymn, she used to sit with a tear running down her cheek, a cuddle was just needed then.

I wish my Mum had cried then I would have known more about how she was feeling. The silly British stiff upper lip and all that is nonsense. I think back on all of her woes and how insensitive I was. But then I did not know and both my parents were not ones to talk about things

I have unhappy memories of seeing my mother cry. Her parents were legally separated and my mother was very sad at not seeing her father. He lived about 30 miles away. When I was a young child my mother and I sometimes went to see him. It was understood that this was "our little secret" - grandma mustn't know. When we had to say goodbye to grandpa at the bus station my mother used to cry. I couldn't bear this and used to stare at my feet so I didn't have to look at her. When I was older my mother told me she adored her father - he was quiet and gentle, a carpenter and a fine pianist. It saddens me that I never really new him. In contrast my grandmother was a hard woman with a viperish tongue.

This has to be one of the saddest threads I've ever read.....thinking of all those Mum's who were desperate enough to cry, makes me feel so sad for them.

I saw my own Mum cry many times. She had a hard life. I'm from a very large family and my Dad was feckless with money, drinking it away in the pub, when there were many mouths to feed at home, along with rent arrears and other debts to be paid. She bore the brunt of all the worry.

Never thought about it but I don’t think I have ever seen my mother cry even when my father died, She laughs at me if I cry at a sad film. Maybe it’s a sign that she has had a happy life or it’s because She had a difficult childhood and learnt to squash her emotions.

Oops - my GD has seen me cry. We watch The King and I together but she knows I will always cry.

jenpax

Gosh all these stiff upper lips make me feel inadequate! I cried in front of the children as did my mother in front of me quite regularly! Maybe I should have been more restrained, I envy people who have the strength of character to hide when then they are upset as all these mothers mainly did. I on the other hand cry at tbe drop of a hat and laughter often ends in tears too ?

"Stiff upper lip" is one thing. Being totally cold and unemotional is another. Being taught from a very early age that crying was weak and would get you nowhere is not a healthy attitude. I don't think my mother's inability to cry was a strength of character at all - quite the opposite, in fact. I still very rarely cry these days - a legacy from my childhood days when she would lay into me (verbally) if I did ever cry.

Never. She was a hard, cold woman and made me cry often enough.

Then again, she never showed love, either.

Interesting subject I have never thought about before. My Mum was brought up to take knocks but I do remember her crying twice. Once when my father had walked out after they’d argued (he came back a few hours later) but it quite shocked me, also the day after I’d got married at 19 years old. I came home to collect some things and she was sitting unaware I’d walked in crying her eyes out. We didn’t particularly get on well when I was in my teens and for all the world I really thought she wanted me to leave home as she was constantly going on at me but it turned out as soon as I was married she realised I wasn’t going to be living with her anymore!

I can’t remember seeing my mother cry apart from the last week of her life when she was in my house, knew the end was near and was frightened. She lost her father at 14 as well as sisters and brothers in her large family through the years, but I think they cried privately. I remember her remarking “And it’s not like me to cry for a cat!” when her cat died and she had obviously shed a tear.
When I left the house in a hurry with my sister after yet another incident with my violent father, she urged us “Not to cry in the street” (which we did). For her generation, crying and what people thought was obviously important.
It’s good that things are more open now.

Yes all the time until she thankfully threw him out