The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning

I'm with you LullyDully we did de clutter when we moved almost 5 years ago but still have a lot of ornaments (OK they're mine), paintings etc but this is our home and we want to enjoy it.

If and when we decide to change things it will be because that's what we want, and not to make it easier for those left behind when we die.

I find clearing a relative's house after death a a soothing and contemplative way of accepting the bereavement. It will have bad as well good moments, .

The Gentle Art

I don't find it gentle, I find it stressful.

I may have to buy it and it will gather dust just like the art of Feng Shui and Marie Kondo's book on decluttering. She even has a film on netflix
www.netflix.com/gb/title/80209379
Some of us are just not tidy by nature.

This rings a bell with me, as we are busy clearing out the rubbish of 53 years of married life before moving to a much smaller house, and running a business, too. I found a pile of diaries from the last ten years, and have decided to shred them; they either bring back sad thoughts of friends and family who have died, or sad memories of disappointments, etc. Yes, a few laughs too, but I don't want anyone else reading them, so what's the point? Much better to spend more time on Gransnet than writing my day-to-day doings (such as they are!).

Well said T, I'm with you 100%

We are a family of six at the moment, including three children, so the clutter levels keep going up!
I’m not by nature a hoarder, I love my things, but I can’t stand mess, so when they eventually leave I’ll take great delight in filling up several skips.
I do have a lot of books which at some point will have to be disposed of kindly, I don’t want no three child making a massive bonfire.

It's a great idea ! I'd get rid of unwanted paper material, books, pamphlets, cards, except that one of my sons is super efficient at sorting through papers and books and the task would take him about one hour.

Got to smile at this because I am in my 91st year and have been doing this for the past 6 months.

It is fascinating to look back at old letters and documents going right back to my grandparents wedding certificate in 1897.

I’ve started to do this. Every cupboard in the house is filled with total rubbish and junk. I’ll hopefully be about a long, long time yet, but under no illusions that my sons won’t want to keep anything of mine and DH’s, we own nothing valuable and they don’t like our taste ? Most of the clutter is stuff that honestly even the charity shops won’t want, finding ways to recycle most of it will be a challenge.

My fathers house was a nightmare to pack and clear, took all of us weeks, but thankfully MIL’s isn’t as bad when her time comes.

I have a lot of "stuff" that isn't essential to every day living. Like my Mums best tea set, pretty not valuable, I never use it, nor did she! I like seeing it in the glass cabinet, but would I miss it?

Also sentimental stuff like cards from close family, children etc. I know when I pop my cloggs, my boys would bin it all just like that.

I am uncertain how I'd feel if I cleared it all ruthlessly now. Yes there would be more space, but would I then start expecting to die soon?

Just not sure.

I had a serious declutter 2 years ago when I moved to a flat in one of those independent living complexes ... I must have got rid of virtually 80% of my stuff. There was no way it would have fit into a one bed small flat.
Now that felt brutal .. throwing away my life. It was a little depressing and sad if I'm honest and I don't rate myself as sentimental or the type who gets attached to material possessions.
But .. I have got a few diaries left and I must remember to dispose of them.
How embarrassing it could be for someone to get to read them .... it'd embarrass me but thankfully I won't be around.

My mum had a very interesting life spanning 93 yrs . When she died 12 yrs ago it took all three siblings plus partners about 3 yrs to finally put her flat on the market, having painstakingly sorted and cleared it.
Recently my DSis has found mother's diaries and is working on a biography. So please don't dispose of those diaries onebraincell. They could be vital for future historians.

LullyDully

I don't plan to die yet....but who knows when that will be.
I plan to keep my bits around me to enjoy thank you very much , while I'm still alive.

Let them sort it out, I have moved so many times so some clutter has already gone.

Here's to another 20 years of promising my self to cull the photos.

But that’s just it. So many of us just keep “stuff”, as opposed to things we really enjoy.

It’s about the stuff, not the loved items

seacliff

I have a lot of "stuff" that isn't essential to every day living. Like my Mums best tea set, pretty not valuable, I never use it, nor did she! I like seeing it in the glass cabinet, but would I miss it?

Also sentimental stuff like cards from close family, children etc. I know when I pop my cloggs, my boys would bin it all just like that.

I am uncertain how I'd feel if I cleared it all ruthlessly now. Yes there would be more space, but would I then start expecting to die soon?

Just not sure.

That's what I meant in my earlier post. It only just occurred to me to look upon it not as a preparation for The End but as freeing up to make a new beginning.

I think that is what I am doing. Since my mum died in July and I'm now back home, I'm sorting through mum's birthday and christmas cards and it's making me realise I need to get rid of 'stuff'. For me though it things from all my hobbies, my main ones being sewing and painting. My house if like Hobbycraft (four sewing machines and an overlocker), no don't laugh.

I was touched to see how my parents had kept my earliest hand drawn cards for over 50 years. I have a ‘memory box’ in which I have DD’s and DS’s first shoes. I like to think they will take comfort in knowin just how precious they were to me.

nope. Why would I want to change the way I live now in the expecatation of making it easier when I die? I get decluttering and do it on a regular basis but I am not a minimalist and have no intention of becoming one.

I've done this all my life! I love things kept in order so that if for some reason I had to find anything in the pitch balck-id be able to go straight to it! My ex MiL was German and had lived through WW2 in Berlin, she did the same (pure coincidence!) And her DS? My X? The most untidy creature on god's planet! My eldest DS is like me,and DS the younger-like his papa!

Reminds me of my mum who had several cupboards full of items that had either been given as gifts or were kept for best (like a complete dinner service, and a tea service that at least saw the light of day whenever friends or relatives visited).
She did ask me what I would do with it after she had gone, to which I said "charity shop"!
I didn't get a chance - other family members came in the house while I was on holiday 6 months after she died, and while my dad was staying at my sisters, and cleared everything out! No idea where it all went, my personal belongings including clothing that I had decided not to pack, were just dumped on my bed!

JaneJudge

My Mum is doing this atm, the I don't want you to have to sort it out when I die business whilst dumping half her stuff that she doesn't want me to sort through ROUND MY HOUSE which in turn, I have to go through and then take to the charity shop!

We had this with friends during lockdown. They all decluttered their houses then, instead of going to the tip, spread the clutter around ("I'm sure Petera and partner will have a use for this").

It reminded me of a bottle of home made wine some years ago which moved from house to house each Christmas as the present was in turn given to someone else.

This excites and terrifies me in equal measure! I go through phases of tidying small areas ... I feel SO good when I get rid of so much rubbish (we are a family of sentimental hoarders and keepers of just because and useful this and that) ... but then it kills me when I've just got rid of something that I REALLY NEED!! I think I might just save my time and keep everything and leave my kids to deal with it all - it'll serve them right!!

I’ve had a big suitcase jam-packed full of clothes that “I will lose weight and fit into again” for several years. Two weeks ago, there was a post on our local Fc’bk neighbourhood group asking for donations for a fund raising day for a local charity. Four big bags of clothes, five of books and a big box of odds and ends were collected last night. I thought I might feel a bit regretful this morning, but no, actually feel good and motivated to start clearing the spare bedroom which has been a dumping ground for quite a few years.
Like others, I have a very definite tendency to keep stuff “just in case”. Plus I am a hoarder when it comes to books, I have thousands all over the house, and that’s after donating/giving away hundreds over the last two/three years.

Did not realise it had a name but that is what we are doing at the moment. Moving to, what I hope will be our last home, and throwing out stuff we think the family will not want to have when we are no longer here in the hopes they will find it easier to clear out at a later date. Also making a list of things we want to keep but have some value. Took for ever when MIL died. Things she never used because they were too good all had to be sent to Jumble Sales/Charity shops.

We have moved house often so belongings have decreased as we went. But we have created a file on our affairs so the children will be able to find all they need easily. Deeds, utilities, accounts etc.