The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning

Everything of mine can go in a skip or two.
There are some photos that may or may not be wanted, but apart from that it's just tat.
So I shall be keeping it as is. and adding to the tat

My MIL recently died, having been married to my FIL for 53 years.
12 hours after she passed my FIL decided to start ‘sorting’, he found two credit card bills totalling over £6,000 which he knew nothing about (they arent short of money btw) he also found many diaries she had written over the years which did not paint him in a good light at all…. Woops!
I am of the view she wanted him to find it all after death, so def no Swedish sorting for her ?

Everything of mine can go in a skip or two.
We may need six .... or more!

I hate junk and clutter. When we moved my husband is of the school whereby you just move and sort it out when you get there. BUT of course you don't. I am always going through filing and piles of magazines he's kept to read 'later' and chucking them out. He never notices.

My darling died last November...
Over 2,000 books mostly Natural History.
4 large storage boxes crammed with wildlife prints from all over the UK.
60 Wildlife talks on transparencies.
30 on CD
Masses of Music CDs
All of his degree paperwork plus diploma notes.
4 handwritten drafts of his published books.
3 copies of his Biodiversity Action Plan.
I'm exhausted just thinking about it

Oh forgot the hundreds of Flypast, Steam Railway, BBC Wildlife Mags, Cycling magazines...Tour de France memorabilia,

As many of you have noted, I also don’t want my son to have to go through what I did when cleaning out my parents’ home after they died. Both of them kept everything. I am now moving myself and down-sizing and it has taken me multiple cycles of sorting through things that should be tossed, donated, etc. It is a LOT of work! Every time I thought I was “done,” I would then realize there was more to be sorted. I’ve always been kind of sentimental but I think losing my DH this past March clarified for me that these things don’t really matter that much. So I have relied upon my phone camera to snap a pic of something that I would years ago have kept and then it gets tossed (respectfully.).

I've been working on this on and off since the first lockdown - books, ornaments, clothes, photos... I'm quite pleased with the progress I've made. Unfortunately DH will throw nothing away and gets very upset when I press him on this. He has stacks of stuff in the garage - everything from old furniture to jam jars and yogurt pots. I worry about it a lot but DH isn't the least concerned. Our DDs tell me not to worry - they will just order large skips. They seem quite philosophical about it and say "dad wont change" but I think it's very selfish of DH.

I live in Sweden and think its a morbid idea not many do it thank goodness. I want my things around me I am not so considerate to my family who will have to tackle the job I had to do it so let’s carry on the tradition I intend staying around for a bit longer!

When I am dead, I am dead. Why do I have to worry about it what people will think of me when I am gone?. I am not being selfish and unkind, but that’s the truth.

Being Swedish I have never heard of this..... wish my mother of same nationality would.....

To me the Swedish way of doing things sounds a bit extreme, but even although I live in Denmark, I had never heard of this until I came on Gransnet.

I am a bit "middle of the road" about this. There are things I want to have and enjoy for the rest of my life, so I keep them.

I have realised that no-one will want old photos, letters, lecture notes etc. when I die, so I am gradually clearing them out. Anything a research library might be interested in goes there. The personal stuff I don't want others reading is used for lighting the fire.

I have promised myself that when the day comes that I no longer feel able to decorate a Christmas tree, I will go through all the Christmas decorations and decide what goes out, and what is old and rare enough to interest the local museum.

The really useful /useless things that are being kept "because they might come in useful" are sorted out when there no longer is room on the cellar shelves for more jam jars etc. or whenever I remember clearing my parents' house!

I'm thinking of moving to a smaller property next year which may or msynot have a loft space, so every time I go in the loft I try to drag something out to dispose of. It's working but it's a slow process. I tend to hang on to things just in case too. Then when I eventually get rid can guarantee a couple of months later I need it.

I'm trying to downsize my stuff and DH fills the empty space with more books.

Oh yes, I've recently done quite a bit if this. Not just for when I'm gone, but to feel better in the present. I found the process quite fun when sorting things for my children to go through to decide whether they wanted to keep things or not, mostly they didn't! ?
But also it was good to talk them through my reasons for having kept some things in the first place. I felt this was much better than my own experience which was coming across my late mum's keepsakes and not knowing why she kept most of them!
I continue to sort for charity shops, I always have a collection bag 'on the go'. I feel good when the clutter has gone.

DH broke an ornament of mine the other day. It had sentimental value but no real monetary value, so I didn't mind. Then he said he would replace it! I bet he gets me something similar for my birthday. I don't want any more stuff!!!

Do I love it?
Do I want it?
Do I need it?

Having cleared out relatives houses and really found heart-wrenching things, I don't want to do this to mine. BUT am I ready to do it I'm not sure. It makes me think am I that near the end . We had a big clear out when we moved but have started to accumulate again.
I do have a clear out of clothes in summer and winter and try to practise the one in one out policy,anything chipped even if it has sentimental value. I also make sure I throw out unused bottles of perfume etc. that were unwanted presents.
Maybe this Winter a really good sort would be good and persuade DH who is an horder to join in.

If we get rid of the junk and clutter just now, when we go, the 'good stuff', you know, the precious things, has a better chance of surviving the house clearance.

Almost all 'rubbish' in our house belongs to my husband. I daren't touch it.
I've told him several times he can't expect our children to do that job but he continues to accumulate.

An interesting post. I've been thinking along these lines for some time and indeed about death but not morbidly, just being realistic. In my early 70s, in very good health etc but I feel a real, pressing urge to get rid of stuff. Also to label some items so that the family know their significance eg my late father's RAF brooches, some rings, a few knick-knacks etc. Without prompting DD1 is taking some leave next month and wants to go through the loft (on the basis it's a fire hazard). The garage too hasn't had it's annual sort out for a couple of years. Unfortunately DH has a lot of stuff, he won't part with anything. Why do I need 3 frying pans??? I rarely fry anything. There's enough crockery to serve the Russian army. I'm looking forward to empty cupboards.

I'm photographing all the bits and pieces of family stuff, making an album with notes. Some of the items might look a bit ordinary, and could easily just be disposed of if the kids don't know the connection. For example, my gt grandmother's china, given to her as a wedding gift back in 1865, well used by my grandmother, but very meaningful to me, Honiton lace collars, granny's driving dust coat, dating from 1905, paintings. My daughter is very keen to keep such things and to know where and when they were used, and how they arrived at the other side of the world. Your comments have inspired me to just get rid of junk, faded old photos and slides with no provenance or names, clothes that don't fit, shoes that don't deserve to live. Thank you for the next month's project!

BoadiceaJones

I'm photographing all the bits and pieces of family stuff, making an album with notes. Some of the items might look a bit ordinary, and could easily just be disposed of if the kids don't know the connection. For example, my gt grandmother's china, given to her as a wedding gift back in 1865, well used by my grandmother, but very meaningful to me, Honiton lace collars, granny's driving dust coat, dating from 1905, paintings. My daughter is very keen to keep such things and to know where and when they were used, and how they arrived at the other side of the world. Your comments have inspired me to just get rid of junk, faded old photos and slides with no provenance or names, clothes that don't fit, shoes that don't deserve to live. Thank you for the next month's project!

This is exactly how I view it. Keeping and cherishing the loved.
Getting rid of the rest.
I’ve been slowly going through my “stuff”, but I find a few areas need a few passes through. It’s easier to get rid of more each time.

Exactly what is clutter. I am a clearer out and tidier. Our loft contains the suitcases still in use and Christmas decorations. Most of my clothes fit in a 5 foot wardrobe, a large Georgian chest of drawers and the coat cupboard. There are empty drawers and shelves in a number of the rooms.

However my house is rich in pictures on the walls, books in the book cases and lovely antique furniture, virtually worthless these days.

So exactly is clutter? To take pictures off walls, the carefully selected and curated books off the shelves and chuck out the furniture, would make life not worth living.

Clutter is keeping a 1970s Goblin Teasmade in the attic just in case