Do you dislike people who disagree with you?

I've tried that Smileless2012. I had a lovely friend who was a Trump supporter. I tried to be open to her opinions but when she started defending Brett Kavanagh I stopped being open to her discussions. She also turned out to be a closet racist and became more open with her comments when she found I was trying to be open to discussion of opinions.

In the end, she had to go

In fact all my close UK friends vote labour. We worked in local government together and our close friendships last. I love a good political discussion and never take offence when we disagree. I emailed them sending Suzanne Moore's sacking by the Guardian and we can discuss cancel culture over dinner. Rather curious but I have not got any openly Conservative friends, although my children and grandchildren are all Conservative voters. I like people for their personalities and for their positive attitudes. Look at Scones and me....we disagree here on politics but agree that we would get on like a house on fire.

I agree with GagaJo

Political views, I'm also OK with difference to a certain extent. But right-wing beliefs, no. I'm not tolerant of them. They're not about equality, they're about selfishness so not tolerable.

I am aware that I live in a bubble. Most, if not all of my friends are generally tolerant left-leaning types who work or have worked in professional jobs. That’s not because I necessarily seek that out in friends, more that that is usually the sort of people I meet.

When I do come across other views it tends to be online (not just on here), and that’s one of the things I like about online communication - the chance to hear other points of view that challenge my own. Unfortunately online communication is notorious for being the refuge of the intransigent and people who aren’t open to discussion, so it doesn’t always end well.

For me it's the way the message is delivered rather than the content. My sister in law, if disagreeing with me always starts with 'tell me if I'm out of line saying this' or ' this is what I think, but just my opinion' whereas my MIL will say ' you shouldn't do that/that's a load of old tosh' etc which gets my back up....

It depends. I do ‘right people off’ who have questionable principles e.g. misogynist, racist, lacking compassion for others (people or animals). However, I’m a card carrying leftie (left of Centre) and believe Brexit is hugely damaging to the British, but I wouldn’t right someone off because they were a Tory or voted for Brexit if they seemed otherwise to be a decent person. I’d enjoy a mature discussion of the issues and we’d probably agree to disagree. So, for example, someone like Katie Hopkins, I wouldn’t waste any of my time on, but I quite like to listen to Tim Monthomerie, Conservative Home, because he is a reasonable, pleasant guy who will consider alternative views, even if he then rejects them.

Mumsnet is a place where there are lots of people who can’t tolerate a view if it disagrees with their own. I often find the vitriol thrown at posters in unprovoked attacks because the attacker takes issue with something the victim said, shocking and disgusting!

I can get along with people of different views to me, providing there’s mutual respect. The people who told me I was a “Nazi” and a “warmonger” because, unlike them, I voted to remain in the EU - are no longer part of my life. Completely unacceptable behaviour to my mind.

Paula Sheriff, former Labour MP, talking with great admiration and affection about Sir David Amess illustrates the fact that you can disagree politically but still be great friends.

I Have a lovely kind fun sister in law but her views are diametrically opposed to mine in many ways, so I just try to dodge any contentious issues ! Life is too short

Would you dislike someone who told you your granddaughter would never get a proper job with a French degree and who also told you your son was not very good looking? When I protested she told me it was the end of our friendship! Perhaps I should add that she has never had children.

I have a friend who over the summer met a gentleman ( I use this term loosely) on a dating site. The usual romantic platitudes were forthcoming from him and everything was going well until the first time she disagreed with a view he held. She was cancelled so quickly from his life. I often disagree with friends views but we are all still friends, everyone is entitled to their own views/opinions.

The only way to get through life is to listen to other peoples opinions, and they in turn listen to you without aggression. I am 81 years old, and have mature children, grandchildren, and great grand children. None of us have ever argued with each other. We respect that we all are entitled to our own opinions, and to never force our views onto each other. We have even experienced altering our opinions by listening to others. I dislike people who agree ,rather than have an opinion. Its so pathetic.

Was it the Dalai Lama who said that people should listen more than talk, as when you talk you are hearing things you already know, but when you listen you might hear something you didn't.

Something on those lines, anyway.

Doodledog

Was it the Dalai Lama who said that people should listen more than talk, as when you talk you are hearing things you already know, but when you listen you might hear something you didn't.

Something on those lines, anyway.

I like that.

The other one my mum always quoted was we have two ears and one mouth so we should listen twice as much as we speak.

I do find it disturbing that some cannot tolerate the idea of being friends with someone who voted to leave the EU or who doesn’t share the same political leanings. Their certainty of moral superiority and their self righteous belief they are right and anyone with an opposing opinion is wrong and not fit to breathe the same rarified air as them is laughable. Beyond parody.

It isn't about moral certainty tickingbird, although that may well be present.

It's more about not enjoying the company of people who are not open to supporting the vulnerable in our society.

We're all free to be friends with who we want.

I have friends who vote Conservative. I have lots of friends who voted "No" in the 2014 Scottish referendum. I have lots of friends who are very religious, and even some who believe in faeries. I have friends - and a husband - who are not vegetarian, like me.

But, strangely enough, I have no friends who voted for Brexit.

I've got family who disagree with me but I still love them dearly! My brother is VERY right wing, a climate change denier, a Brexiteer, anti muslim, a meat lover and anti-vax! I am very left wing, have been concerned about the issue of climate change for many years, a remainer, volunteer to work to help refugees, a vegan and pro-vax! My sister is also anti-vax/conspiracy theorist, but none of the other things that my brother is. Generally I manage not to say anything that might bring the subject up, but when George Floyd was murdered it did come up, and at Christmas when he gets drunk it can be dodgy. He knows that he is right about all these things, so I wouldn't be able to change his beliefs, and he lives with my 99 year old mum and it would upset her needlessly if I tried. It must sound very cowardly of me.

But, strangely enough, I have no friends who voted for Brexit.

But would they admit it if they had Alegrias? I know that 2 of my friends voted to remain and one voted to leave but 2 others have never wanted to discuss it. But, either way, it's never caused any issues between us; we agree on far more than we disagree on. Maybe it's because we see each other "as a whole person" and not just on the one facet of political persuasions.

Point taken Chewbacca, but it was a topic of conversation for everyone in my social group in 2016 because it was so important. Just avoiding the topic would be one thing, but actually going one step further and actually lying about it would be something else entirely.

You beat me to it Chewbacca. I was going to say the same thing. Maybe, Algerias, you have friends that don’t admit to voting for Brexit.

Crikey you have a very idealistic view of people Alegrias . People lie a lot, even our friends.

tickingbird

You beat me to it Chewbacca. I was going to say the same thing. Maybe, Algerias, you have friends that don’t admit to voting for Brexit.

Or, like most Scots, they are honest and sensible, and didn't vote Leave ?

Do people really think their friends are liars? Crikey.

It must have been very difficult dealing with your brother following George Floyd's murder, choughdancer. When one feels so much compassion and sees cruelty, yet knowing it would distress your mum if things blew up... horrible situation.

I think my friends are human. I have lied (not about Brexit, I would hope my lies were slightly more exciting) so it's not as if I am being judgemental, I just know that people are flawed.

Alegrias1

tickingbird

You beat me to it Chewbacca. I was going to say the same thing. Maybe, Algerias, you have friends that don’t admit to voting for Brexit.

Or, like most Scots, they are honest and sensible, and didn't vote Leave ?

Do people really think their friends are liars? Crikey.

I have a friend who owned up one drunken evening for voting for Brexit.

For about years we were all believing she was a Remainer then she just felt she had to spin the beans

Liar? Not sure. I'm not very keen on classing someone as a liar. She was scared. She knew she'd be criticised. We were working in an environment which was about 99% Remain.

I certainly didn't stop being her friend. And I understood her reluctance to put it out there because today people are vile towards those who vote Tory or Remain.

A fact that needs addressing I believe.