What have you finally made peace with?

Funnily enough I had a similar conversation with my eldest son a few weeks ago. I concluded that, in hindsight and with maturity, I would have done some things differently. Acknowledging this has allowed me to make peace with some of my earlier decisions. I was, and still am, fortunate in having a supportive, loving family who allowed me to make my own decisions and supported me with through the consequences

I have accepted that I am more of an animal lover than a social butterfly, that I’m an introvert, that not having a husband/ partner is the best way of life for me. I guess in a nutshell, I’ve made peace with knowing I’m different than most people!

I have made peace with my parents. I have decided they did the best they knew to do. If I drag the hurt throughout my life, it is on me.

I made peace with getting ill at 29 and the whole course of mine and my families life changed. Having no control over what my body did and constant pain. 33 years later still here.

My husband dieing in 2004 at 47 when I always thought I would die first. Miss him more as the years go by. Still feel half of me is missing.

Made peace with the fact my son decided last year he no longer wants his mom. Lost the 2 grandson's I knew and don't even know the name of his youngest.

Losing weight which is still on going after 4 years but I am winning was 32 now a 16.

Made peace with the fact I have added health problems but won't let them stop me living my life to the full. 63 and still going.

I'm another who will never have a relationship with my sister or have a kind, loving mother, basically because they're a pair of evil, toxic cows!

I've made peace with these facts because of another couple of facts.... I'm a better person than both of them put together and no-one needs theat crap in their life, especially not me!

I am still angry with my father who never confronted his brother in law who abused me from when I was seven to about eleven. I told both parents about it after I left home aged eighteen. My mother said I should never have told them as I had 'spoiled things' now... I also don't know how to feel about telling my female cousin what her father did. She cut me off without question, assuming I was quite mad. It has made me ill at the thought of seeing her and her brothers soon at my eldest cousin's upcoming funeral. I won't apologise as I feel sad for my seven year old child self.

Lollipoplove

A friend contacted me 2 years ago after a falling out 16 years ago due to my friend always having to be right. Anyway I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Over Covid she rang me nearly every night with her troubles with her partner her mum how she still loved her ex husband she was drinking too much.
She visited me ( we now live 180 miles away as iv moved)
I visited her I had a nice time except every night I had to cook because she was too drunk then I had to put her to bed by 9.30 every night.
She has gone through breast cancer & told me her partners family were there for her as she fell apart.
I have a Stepmum who lives in her area who has pancreatic cancer & not much time to live so I was planning my trip to visit her. Her reply was you can’t stay at mine I said oh ok may I ask why. She said her partner said he couldn’t put up with the pair of us ( he wasn’t there the last I had stayed) I said but I’m not coming down to party it may be the very last time I she my Stepmum & I didn’t get drunk at yours once you were drunk every night I had to put you to bed & clear up all the mess you made ( she always spills food drinks crisps everywhere.
I asked her if she would like to see me when I’m down. She said yes but I don’t have any weekends free until after Christmas I said that ok I don’t mind seeing you in the week.
Then one day I was speaking to my best friend who asked me to pass on her apologies to said friend that she hadn’t replied to her text asking my best friend to let her know whenever she has a weekend free & theycould go out together or as a foursome!! Why would she lie?
I confided in her that I had found a lump in my breast & iv made appointment at Drs she said well don’t worry until you have something to worry about.
The day of my appointment she didn’t wish me good luck.
After my examination the Dr said “ this lump does feel worrying “. While waiting for mammogram & scan. I text her & another friend. My other friend replied straight away.
But this friend never replied so after a week I text asking if she’d received my text. She replied with just a yes.
I said why haven’t you been in touch. She replied with I have many friends that need my help which isn’t true as it was obvious when I visited her that she doesn’t have many friends . And she’s spent so much time hunting down old school friends & friends shed fallen out with years ago) so if that’s a problem maybe we shouldn’t be friends. I asked her how she could be so cold I told her it wasn’t good news. She replied I hope it works out well for you.
For all she knows I could have weeks to live!
I’m so hurt & shocked
Any help would be so appreciated x

Sorry but I'm going to be blunt - just drop her! She isn't worth your time or effort; it seems to be all about her and her problems and you don't get a look in. You don't need 'friends' like that who just take all the time but never give.
Good luck with everything.

Harmonypuss you have written my post for me. Once I accepted this I began to thrive after years of feeling inadequate

After many years of guilt and shame at something I 'did' when I was 16, a newspaper article set me free when it said ' it wasn't something you did, it was something that happened to you'
Such a simple sentence, but applied to so many of my trials and tribulations over the years.

tictacnana

The end of my favourite Shakespeare sonnet keeps coming back to me ‘But if the while I think on thee dear friend, All losses are restored and sorrows end.’ I will never be at peace with the idea that some of my dear friends from my youth are gone and I never had the chance to thank them and tell them how they lit up my life.

I only had the chance to do this once and am so glad I could tell my friend how much I valued her friendship .

Hi. I’m in same boat as you. 60 now and shes. Dead mother. 3 years ago. She was just horrible all my life. It’s refreshing to hear someone else say they never loved their mother. I feel same but most ppl don’t so it’s hard. I liked your post !

Thinking of you. ?? Today

Hello. I found a lovely therapist band visited her for a couple of years. She helped me see things clearly and remove guilt. It was amazing to say she lifted my spirits and she was a trained BACP member. If you look up their website snd type your postcode you can find a lady locally maybe. It’s worth the money I think if you can afford it and see someone If not buy a couple of books too if you can. Sometimes it helps. Good luck !

Hear hear !! Well done