Do you tell your AC arrangements for when you die??

After the initial shock, and having seen what happens with their paternal grandmother and others- they accept this and agree.

As a matter of interest, if you don't give someone Power of Attorney, who is legally responsible for making decisions for you? If you are clearly incapable of making them for yourself, of course.

Age UK do something called The Life Book ( or they used to) You put everything in there. It's set out simply and makes it all easy to record your wishes.

Apologies if someone else has put this, I haven't got time today to read all the messages.

I'm astounded at the number of people who don't have a will, especially those who aren't married to their partner. If you are married but have children from a previous relationship then I would highly recommend that you consider using a trust for any inheritance you want to leave to your children. Too complicated to explain here but well worth seeking professional advice for. In terms of funeral arrangements, think about a pre-paid funeral plan. It locks in most of the costs - which are escalating - and gives you control over what you want. Some even give the option about hymns, flowers etc. This also a great option if your family refuse to discuss it with you.

When my son died we didn’t know if he wanted to buried or cremated so we asked one of his friends if he knew what our son wanted and he said a cremation. So we honoured that request.
My dh and I have told my dd that is what we will have too.

Please do this! I recently had to wade through a pile of paperwork to try to sort out my partners affairs. While some things were obvious the bank accounts were a nightmare, especially internet paperless accounts. My eldest helped me as his dad had talked him through some things. I have greatly simplified my accounts & life so that everything will be easier for my children/lawyer to deal with. I have a file with my details of utility providers/banks/premium bonds/private pension/shares and notes about funeral cremation/music/humanist. Anything that makes life easier in the aftermath of a death is a good idea.

Pretty strange if you don’t tell them - makes it hard for them

First, let me say how terribly sad it is to read of children dying before their parents (whatever their age). Siblings likewise. So sad. My heartfelt sympathies.

Regarding the post: I have everything stored in a labelled filing cabinet which contains plastic wallets - also labelled. I have a list of all passwords (online and otherwise) in an easily identifiable document.

There are letters for all who are close to me and we are clear about the division of our belongings. We don't have a will but, as our 4 adult children know it is to be divided equally amongst them.

I hope this helps.

It being the house, sorry.

hazel93

Apart from making a will which is obviuosly important we have also drawn up an enduring Power of Attorney for my son which I feel is just as crucial.
Waiting for probate can take quite a while as I have found on several occassions, this way he will be able to access everything he needs once we die.

The POA will lapse on your death, and he will not be legally able to access your funds. I suggest you consult a lawyer

Luckily adult daughter pretty much concurs with me on all this stuff. All paperwork drawn up with solicitor a while ago, eg will, living will, powers of attorney etc, all as simple as possible, no funeral and everything passes to her if anything is hopefully left.

grandMattie so sorry to hear this. ?

I talk freely about the fact that I will die, when relevant - for me the worst thing is to pretend we don't all know about this reality. But I also hope to have many more years.
I do think its good to make it easier for my children when I die and one of the things I"ve done is use Age UK's Life Book. Its a well worked out document which reminds you of all the things others will need to know when you die - and you fill it in with the necessary details. In fact I used it as a guide and have made a document which I've printed and also have on my computer. Here is a link - its free and really worth using.

www.ageuk.org.uk/contentassets/7ec07f9384be4cdeb6d9360b38714df5/age_uk_lifebook_brochure.pdf

As far as I am aware you cannot touch a deceased bank account until you register the death and send the certificate to them. This has to be done by the NOK or executer. Generally they are quick in releasing the funds and closing the account. I agree it's best to try and put your affairs in order and let your family know where to look for everything.

It doesn’t take that much time to create a spread sheet, typed or by hand giving all pension and investment info and passwords etc! Makes life so much easier! Another very useful thing, but might be harder to implement (depending on the type of relationship you have with your kids or executor) is to add one or two signatures to the relatives bank account!! It means you can continue to use the account, even though the original account holder has died, and it certainly helps deal with critical costs!! My sister and I have done this with mum’s account, as joint signatories, not single!! Mum was quite happy to do this! I’ve administered 3 family bereavements and it all takes a lot of time and expense, no matter how simple the estate!! This has reminded me I must update all my stuff!! Oh and don’t forget living will! Good Luck!

I am in the process of dealing with my deceased mum's estate. What a mess. Also in Scotland 'succession' takes precedence over what someone's Will states. Basically you cannot dis-inherit a child, or child of deceased child (GC) even if you have never seen or got on with them. They are entitled under law to a % of the decease persons estate. Presently dealing with two legal rights claims on my mums estate from family who refused to see or interact with my mum. Very stressful and something i was unaware of until they were made and I spoke to solicitor regard them. Why is this not widely know in Scotland especially at the initial meeting with the solicitor when drawing up your Will. Definitely better to be organised - however in Scotland what is in your Will is not necessarily what will happen.

Try to keep all the paperwork in order. Still struggling with codes for devices, accessing on-line accounts. We seem to be constantly reminded not to write a lot of info down in case of theft. I di have electronic system for passwords but a password is needed to access the password storage system. Thought I'd pass it to AC but then if I forget I've changed it they would be stuck again.

I have purchased a basic funeral plan and drafted a basic funeral plan including what hymns I would like. My DH is digging his heels in, he's 81 and doesn't think it will be needed in the near future. He won't update our wills, we have had 2 grandchildren since they were made. I get so frustrated!! Ihope he goes first so I can help sort out his mess!!

I would make will and pows but the cost that my solicitor wants adds up to nearly £4000. What has everyone else been quoted or charged. Both of mine will not be straight forward as in second marriage with step children who I don’t want anything to go to, as they have been horrible to their dad and me.
Husband says he doesn’t care he’ll be dead. We keep finances separate and I don’t have access to any of his digital world. Nightmare?

I have told both my children on numerous occasions, I would like a 'Direct Cremation'

I have a book entitled Last Orders which I bought on Amazon and has enabled me to record all my wishes! My parents made wills but fir my dad we had no idea what he wanted at his funeral! Mum had left a letter expressing who was to get what and which music to play! We went out of the crem to The Red Flag !!!
Make a Will, discuss it all ! It has to be done !

My OH and I have drawn up Wills and Powers of Attorney. We have given each other the code to access email, phone, Facebook etc. Also our personal address books. I am more willing to talk about my ‘moving on’ with my children than my husband is. I want a low cost, no fuss funeral with a party to celebrate my life, nothing to be glum about, I’ve enjoyed/enjoying my life. As for my personal items, jewellery etc, I’ve asked my daughter, after she has taken what she wants to ask my daughters in law if there’s anything they would like. I feel it’s better to be open about death as it will certainly happen to us all - hopefully not for a long time!

I spent around twelve hours over the course of a week helping my best friends eighteen year old daughter go through her papers after her sudden and unexpected death. Her father was unable to assist as he had an early onset degenerative neurological condition which had placed him in residential care. Both were in their fifties. I now have an emergency file for my children containing all paperwork including a will. The funeral is completely paid for and at the moment I’m arranging an enduring power of attorney. I’ve still a while to go until my state pension kicks in but I’m probably a little paranoid as I’ve lost three very dear friends over the last few years all with teenagers at home. It’s just peace of mind.

Germs shepherdsmum am surprised at that, wonder if different in Scotland. I had POA for mum and from time she was unable cd access everything and after she passed away as well. Have done POA for myself and was never advised it was any different.

We have just had discussions with my daughter and son as we are considering whole body donation when we die. Our wills will have to be revised and when they are both children will get a copy plus a file of information that will need for probate and dealing with personal possessions etc. The only thing I need to research a bit more us about access and ownership of my various electronic accounts such as email, social media etc. Has anyone found a way of dealing with these?