True Picky Eaters

I'd say the important thing is that they are eating something. Just give them plenty of what they seem to like. Hopefully the phase will pass. Certainly, nagging or trying to force food or make a big issue of it will only do more harm than good. Lots of children seem to be healthy and well on just bread and jam, or fishfingers etc. Can try milk drinks, ovaltine etc, as a nutrition source, if this will be accepted.

I was a picky eater and was generally sent to my bed if I didn't eat what was put in front of me. I was adult before I found I had an intolerance to dairy food. The number of times i was more or less force fed milk being told it was good for me - now at 77 I am repulsed by the word!!

I am no better these days,I have an aversion to meats and speads on sandwiches, the only thing I like is cheese, why this is I dont know, I think I could easily become vegetarian. What an odd person I have become. Dont blame the children!

I must confess that I was one of those smug parents who said that parents caused picky eaters. I had to eat my words when the third one came along, she was an absolutely no veg on the plate child till she saw the film Babe, when she decided to become a vegetarian. That didn't last long though! Now she is vegan through and through so yes it's true they do grow out of it. By the way her uncle would only eat peas on Sunday!!

I was a picky eater as a child and my mother was asked to remove me from school dinners after I was sick with rice pudding and jam.
I only ate a few vegetables at home peas and beans and no offal or blood products whatsoever. When I had to stay and it was liver I filled up on potatoes and the stewed fruit we were given with milk puddings.
As I grew older I started to eat more vegetables cooked in different ways stir-fried cabbage instead of boiled to death.
My first child ate everything in front of them the second was exactly like me. I never made them eat anything they never liked and they gradually added new things that were put on their plate.
I read recently that they have found a gene that controls what we like. I still watch the family tuck into pate and tapenade and my stomach is rolling at the smell of it. The article said smell has a lot to do with what we like and I think it applies to me.
I wouldn't make anyone eat what they don't want but neither would I let them fill up on crisps etc. My second choice was fruit which I loved.
If we go to a restaurant I never have the tasting menu 3/4 end up on my husbands plate.

My friend's granddaughter was a very picky eater until I suggested that granny let her help lay the table and prep the food they would have that day, she even helped with the shopping which she loved, the picky eating soon stopped and less sweeties and rubbish were eaten as a result. Going out for a meal became a pleasure.

I know someone who was a picky infant eater and decided all he wanted was chicken chips and peas. He had the same meal into adulthood. He is a very successful musician who now eats world food, but still won't eat meat.

Annaram1

My grandson at less than 2 decided he did not like milk. He just would not drink it anymore. His doctor parents gave in and did not bother to offer him milk. After about 2 years he tripped over a tree root and broke his leg. An xray established that he was badly lacking calcium. At last his parents decided to do something about it and they locked him in his room with a glass of milk and told him he would not be let out until he had drunk it. After that he started drinking milk quite happily and is now 24 years old and doing well.

Would he have eaten cheese such as Cheddar? That would have supplied calcium.

I loathed milk as a child - still do, at least the neat stuff - it probably came from having to drink school milk that had been left outside to get too warm in summer.
The thought of any child being forced to drink the stuff appals me!
Despite virtually no milk from a relatively young age, I am tall, ?pretty disgustingly healthy so far, and have never had a fracture.

My father also loathed it, so I dare say it’s a genetic thing. I do think certain things taste different to different people. Tea with milk honestly tastes utterly vile to me, yet most people like it and can’t understand how I can only drink it black!

My poor mum put up with me only eating ham, cheese and an apple for months on end as a child and I'm fine with all sorts of food now. It's just not kids who are fussy eaters, a friend of mine is 70 and he's the fussiest person I've ever come across with food. He doesn't really like red meat, won't eat chicken and doesn't eat any vegetables at all. I don't know how his wife copes at meal times as I dread him coming to mine for dinner.

Has ‘Food Aversion’ been investigated ?

My pet peeve is people that go on about children being picky eaters and say they have to eat what they are given etc. I bet they have things they don't like (I know I do) so why shouldn't a child?

Luckily I was never forced to eat things I didn't like (at home anyway). My ds has had real sensory issues round food due to SN but while there are still things he won't eat at all he has a fairly well balanced diet and in some ways is way more adventurous than I am! He won't eat a fish finger or piece of breaded fish but will happily tuck into a plate of seafood! He won't eat baked beans but give him a plate of refried beans...

Witzend

Who else had school dinners with no choice? Virtually everybody had them. We often moaned, but we ate them, because there was nothing else.
At my first school we were allowed one fad, otherwise you had to eat it.
My ‘fad’ was meat fat, which I still can’t eat - except for very crisped up bacon fat.

When I was about 4 my father tried to trick me into eating it, by hiding some in mashed potato. But I still gagged when it got to the back of my throat, so they stopped trying to get me to eat it.

Cutting the fat off was so automatic, I once found myself cutting it off a slice of ham for a dd of maybe 3.
She said, ‘Can you leave the white edges, Mummy? I like the white edges.’
I never did that again!

I had and have the same aversion to meat fat. When I was about ten I refused to eat the fatty meat in my school lunch. They said I had to, and I spent the afternoon sitting in front of the uneaten plateful. I still refused to eat it, and they had to give in eventually. I won!

Razzy

It is interesting that a common theme is dairy avoidance. We are not designed to eat dairy and alot of people get sick from eating it. I wonder if, left to their own devices, people would eat what suits their own genetic make up. Part of the problem in some cases is that sugar and fat are very addictive, so kids can get used to those flavours to the exclusion of others.

I could not agree with this more. Although I could drink the small bottle of milk we had in the infants, my stomach would turn at the thought of a glass of milk now. I have never liked hot milk and custard, rice pudding, semolina etc make me sick. Cold custard and blancmange are even worse. I remember a teacher at primary school forcing me to try custard and I am sure we all have memories of exasperated fathers telling us that there were starving children in Africa who would be grateful for the rice pudding we were turning our noses up at. My rebellious thought was that they should send it there. I can understand well-meaning parents and teachers trying to encourage a wide variety of food but there are reasons why we can’t eat something. I have goat’s milk rather than cow’s milk at home as l find it suits me better. I have always been an allergic person so food intolerances are part and parcel of it. I have always been very intolerant of nuts, too, particularly coconut and peanuts, where the smell makes me nauseous. By extension I find the texture of berries also has the same effect, apart from strawberries. One of my sons has the same problem with citrus fruits. I think food intolerances are probably far more common than we realise and often mistaken for fussiness. We need to listen to our bodies. Jennifer Eccles, I am afraid l found your post very judgmental and unhelpful. My parents and myself with my own children have always offered a wide variety of food and, apart from our intolerances, we eat virtually anything and will try most things.

Grandetante, off topic but your comment about the ignoring the child saying the rude word made me smile. When my younger son was nine, my brother took him to the Tower of London. For about three days afterwards, every other sentence contained the word “bloody” as in “when we were in the Bloody Tower” or “Bloody Mary…” all said with a glint in his eye. I tried to ignore it as best l could but my stamina snapped long before his and I said “that is the very last time I want to hear about the Bloody Tower or Bloody Mary. If you mention it one more time there will be big trouble.” He realised his luck had run out by then and there was no more mention of it.

"Picky" - don't like the word. Surely, we just eat what we like or what we can? Some children and adults have sensory issues. I was thought of as "picky" as I wouldn't eat meat. Nowadays, that's vegetarian and not thought of as "picky" at all.

I was delighted when it was time to wean my first son. A lovely scrambled egg, he ate it and promptly threw it up again. I tried again a few weeks later, same result. There were many foods he wouldn’t eat until I hit on the idea of putting everything into a yogurt pot, hey presto! everything (except egg) was eaten. He is now 37 and still won’t eat egg. He still smells all his food before trying it. His daughter who is 4 will eat anything.
My second son ate everything and loves eggs.

Our son would only eat brown bread and honey during his mid toddler hood. A doctor in law assured me he couldn't have chosen a healthier diet. Came the day when DS came home muttering about honey being 'bee spit' and went off it for a while.... He still views it with some suspicion but now has had a varied diet for the past 40 years

I would never force a child to eat what they didn’t want or try to make them eat more. I always think how I would feel in that situation. A friend was proudly telling me how she didn’t allow her children to eat anything if they refused the main course. I thought how cruel, how many times I’ve felt that way, and have been quite happy with just a piece of apple tart! I’ve an issue with this as a controlling mother was responsible for me becoming anorexic as a teenager.

seadragon My mother always called honey "bee spit" didn't stop her eating it though.

My DD told me that she was worried because DGS, who's just started school, has the same thing (jacket potato with cheese) for his lunch every day, despite there being a range of foods (which he eats at home) to choose from...
I'm afraid that I started to laugh - this is the girl who took cheese sandwiches to school for her lunch every single day for FOUR YEARS (and who would eat no vegetables other than peas for longer than that ?).
She's now a healthy mother of two with a responsible job, having decided as she grew up that other vegetables - & sandwich fillings - existed...!
She joined in the laughter - and has eased up on the worry (until the next phase comes along...).

Yes i agree- some will rather go without than eat their 'preferances' my two youngest have food issues- older one not quite as bad but youngest (now 18) definitely! Its still a huge struggle even now.And NO JenniferEccles- thats not true either- i weaned my 2 youngest on mashed cooked fresh veg & fruit, adding meats & eggs&fish as they got older, just like their older siblings.?

Mt eldest was a picky eater when young. When we started fostering and his 2 natural siblings came along his appetite greatly improved. Often, sadly, foster children were very hungry and would eat anything left on plates.
This increased his appetite.
Also I found serving very small portions on a very large plate makes children hungrier. But they could always have more.

Just a thought on food allergy my youngest DC suddenly stopped eating bread and doughnuts anything with flour or yeast at 16 months. Started eating it again at 2 yrs so I thought it was a fad.
At 21 they became allergic to bread and yeast dough. Caused severe stomach problems with severe pain for 4/5 days after 1 piece of bread. So perhaps what happened when they were younger was the body telling them it was allergic.

JenniferEccles

Isn’t the answer to introduce babies to a very wide a range of different food, textures and tastes at the very start of the weaning process, concentrating perhaps more on savoury rather than sweet foods?

Of course children will have likes and dislikes as we all do as adults but I do wonder whether some of these faddy eaters were given a rather limited range of foods as babies.

This is the kind of thing that is not very helpful to people reaching out for help.

This is the attitude parents get that is not helpful, and squarely blames the parents.

My dd went through a phase of eating plain cooked pasta, no sauce, butter, cheese, just pasta. Family meals out were a nightmare; I could explain when ordering that she would just like plain pasta, which they could usually provide, but the chef could never resist garnishing it, with a sprinkle of Parmesan or chopped parsley, and she wouldn’t touch it. And we were always charged ridiculous prices for a plate of plain pasta.
Dd are her partner are now excellent cooks. However she never has eaten either mushrooms or onions (and went through a phase of not liking tomatoes if cooked). Could never work out how come DH and I could ever have a dd who wouldn’t eat mushrooms or onions! She says it is a texture thing. Also not keen on aubergines (which I didn’t offer her when she was a child)