Mediums

I feel they prey on vulnerable people.

I do not believe in their claims but those that do seem to get comfort from them in the same way that those that believe in a god do, I do object to the financial side though.

I agree.
My SiL went to one. He was expensive and provided a tape of the session for her to take home.

She was entranced and convinced that he was communicating with her recently deceased mother.
She played the tape to us and it was very clear she was being duped and manipulated.
However, we didn’t have the heart to tell her that we thought he was a fraud. Once we were sure she wouldn’t make a return visit, we said nothing else.
The session seemed to bring her comfort.
Nevertheless, we were in no doubt that he was an egotistical, not very sophisticated, charlatan.

Mediums are often genuine I think, but their abilities vary and they cannot pick up information to order. They have no control over what they see and have to take what comes through and it can sometimes be garbled or difficult to translate into sensible messages. That doesn't mean they are charlatans, just that their abilities are not as finely tuned as others who may be much better tuned in. Then there are of course real charlatans who give all the others a bad name and the result is that most people believe they are all like that.

I don’t agree chestnut I don’t believe there is any connection between mediums and the dead and I think they all prey on emotionally weakened people a few perhaps do it in belief that they can help but the majority do it to make money out of emotionally saddened people
I went with my friend after her sister was killed as she wanted to visit one he was absolutely awful and you could see he was guessing…. when he mention he could see books ( her sister was a teacher) my friend was movingly convinced
This was years ago and this man is still doing the circuit with people adoring him he must have made a mint out of people’s misery.

But if these people can give grieving people some solace, does it really do anyone much harm?

I accept that the boundary between solace and exploitation can be very thin, but as Norstat said, it gave her SiL some peace - which was what she needed at the time.

I think until I’ve been to see one ( don’t hold your breath) and had a ‘good’ reading then I remain unconvinced that they can really communicate with the dead.
However, I had a very long chat with a friend of a friend who stumbled into ‘mediumship’ a few years ago and he is very earnest that he does hear things, he only says what he hears and sometimes can’t make any sense out of it but someone in the audience can.
My argument with him was that if it truly was a gift, why doesn’t he do it for free? He mumbled something about fuel, hiring a venue etc. and he still didn’t offer me a free reading!

Oopsadaisy I suppose with a good size audience whatever he might say could apply to any number of people.
For example he might say ‘ I’m getting a father figure connected to the letter D ‘and several people would think of their father. Once they have someone identified they pick up clues and being in an emotional state give away more than they realise.
I agree it might give some comfort but it’s a shabby way to do it.

Didn’t James Randi offer a huge financial reward to anyone in the world who could demonstrate paranormal phenomena under controlled conditions?
Nobody was successful in claiming it.
It is all a hoax.

I visited a faith healer when I was going through chemo. This didn't involve any money, and he only saw people recommended by others who he had helped.
His wife was a medium, and apart from a good morning, I steered clear of her. Until my last visit when she decided to sit in quietly.
She did describe my great grandmother in detail and how she had died. Not to send me any big revelation, but just to say she was with me.
This lady obviously had a gift and gave comfort to people, with no financial gain. She has since passed away herself.
I agree that the majority of mediums, working to big audiences are a con and play on people's distress. But I have no doubt that this lady had something.

I’ve never consulted one, and doubt that I ever will.

However a close family member knows someone who (unpaid) has told her extraordinary things that she couldn’t possibly have known, or found out.

In one case it was merely from handling a small object that had belonged to a recently deceased relative who’d lived hundreds of miles away. The things she said were nothing ‘standard’ that could have applied to just about anybody.

I do think a few people have some sort of gift that can’t be explained.

I can’t say I don’t believe because I have experienced things myself that can’t be explained. “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio , Than dreamt of in your philosophy” William Shakespeare.
As for taking advantage of the vulnerable then yes I do agree it shamefully happens.

My Dh’s gran belonged to the spiritualist church. She used to regularly take services and do readings. She was a very popular lady and she said you don’t take money for doing it.

I don't believe in them, I have to say. I went to one session with a friend and it was all a load of complete nonsense. As someone else pointed out, large sums of money have been offered for studies to anyone who would be willing to 'prove' their powers and none have come forward.
And didn't Derren Brown do a programme showing just how they manipulate and dupe people?

I doubt that anyone truly genuine would be bothered about proving anything under scientifically monitored conditions.

It’s a different thing, I know, but my mother was occasionally acutely telepathic over very long distances. However, it only ever happened (at least as far as I know, in the cases that were known to me at the time) when someone was in some sort of great distress. So it could never have been proved under lab conditions.

All I can speak of is my own experience. I saw a medium over 20 years ago and I paid a small amount for her services.

She told me things about another person that nobody could have known and also repeated words he had said to me verbatim. Not just one or two things, but many things - whole sentences, names, figures and facts. I was there an hour and it was so shocking I could barely stand afterwards.

I'd popped into her 'healing centre' on a whim whilst on a visit to another county so there was no previous knowledge of me. The only words I said to her before the session were' - 'I've come to see you because I've had a terrible upset in my life and need some calm back.' And away she went, so I can't see how she can have manipulated me. The upset I'd had was personal and not reported in any news.

It blew my mind and I've never forgotten it. That said I recommended her to two other people who went to see her and said she was absolutely useless. I know what happened for me, but in general, who knows?

OH, also can I tell about an experience I had with Darren Brown many years ago before he was famous? I was with two girlfriends outside of a cafe in Bristol. He approached us and said he could hypnotise us. Well off he went and I decided I wasn't having any of it, he must have read my body language and concentrated entirely on my friends, completely ignoring me.

Every aspect of that experience felt like a 'magic trick' being played compared to my experience with the medium. With her....well it was like the 'thing' 'talent' 'gift' whatever you'd call it consumed her, was her and just poured out of her. Derren came across as a very nice, charismatic, clever observer and manipulator.

He might know a lot about what he does, but in my opinion it is an entirely separate thing.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sorry, don't know why that appeared twice (spirits playing a trick perhaps ) Have asked for duplicate post to be removed.

I'm in two minds about this.
I have a friend who is quite "sensitive".
One afternoon she gave me a lift home from work. We were sat having a coffee at the table I had my back to the kitchen. She said she didnt want to scare me but she could see someone in the kitchen .
She then went on to describe a woman in perfect detail from colour of hair to exact clothes she was wearing including the pattern on her blouse.
I was rather bemused as I didnt recognise the description. I went upstairs and got my wedding album that was at the back of my wardrobe. My wedding in 1985 was the last time all my aunts and uncles were together.
When i divorced in 1995 the album was put at the back of the wardrobe. I kept it for the future as all the relatives were on it. Neither of my daughters have seen it and there are ,and havent been any wedding photos displayed. I had only known my friend for a few years.
Who she had described was my aunt and god mother. I think i was thrown by the hair colour as she had briefly gone from dark to blonde. Every detail was correct down to her shoes!
I didnt quite know what to make of it but the following month my mother was unexpectedly diagnosed with terminal cancer and died within a month.
My friend never charges or even seeks out ways to use this skill. I certainly cant explain that afternoon.
On the other hand I have attended a spiritualist church with my friend. I went with an open mind but was totally unconvinced. I dont think there was any deliberate misinformation,it was also free. They have guest mediums for want of a better word. The audience were regular members and I think they have a rota of guests. For me that means peoples stories are familiar.
The speaker that day for me was to general. The names he used and descriptions of home interiors/ items would have been relevant to anyone with relatives born in the first part of the 20th century.
On that occasion I remain unconvinced. I do have some specific incidents that only I know and if that was mentioned in such a setting I might think again.

Many years ago I visited someone who had another visitor present, she was connected to a local Spiritualist church and as another poster has said, she didn't charge people at all.

She spoke to me about my grandfather who had died when I was around 9 years old and told me things she couldn't possibly have known or guessed at, in fact her comments were very specific.

I can't explain it at all but I do know that it did give me sense of comfort as I absolutely adored him and to this day, miss his presence.
If money isn't involved and it provides a source of comfort, I have no issues with it.

I believe there are people who genuinely have this gift and some posters have given evidence of this. There are also the charlatans who prey on vulnerable people for hard cash - but if those people get comfort from what they hear then who am I to criticise. There are indeed 'more things in heaven and earth Horatio'.

I and my Dil went to see the American medium John Edwards,he read both of us and it was amazing
He told Dil how her father died,that she has a brother who played the trumpet and that she will be having a baby in the near future and lots more.
All of which was accurate.
He told me my parents were still playing cards and mom is still cheating at the game, i will be moving house i have my dad`s glasses and there is an American coin in the case etc...
All accurate even down to the coin,i went home,found dads glasses after a good search and yes there was an American coin.
You can search him on youtube.

The medium has no control over what comes through, so it may be very clear and precise or vague and garbled. That is not their fault and they cannot produce information they have not been given. When they ask questions it is because they are trying to make sense of what they hear and find out who the message is for.
The problem is sorting the chaff from the wheat. There are charlatans and people who make a show out of their gift, so finding a genuine medium may require a few attempts.