The Innocence of Children

My son told the assembled family group that his dad has two beards; one on his chin and one around his willy.

My daughter used to sing 'suspicious minds'& opening words were' call me a tramp!'

Many years ago my son asked his sister"Do you like my new Thomas the Tank Engine pants? We got them from Marks and 'Spensive"

My 3 year old son asked me if I had a grandfather. I told him I used to have a grandad but he got very old and he died. My son replied”Who shot him?”

After a birds and the bees lesson my 7 year old told me that did I know the a man puts a peanut in the woman's my china

My eldest, age 6, went to school and they did weekend news in their little books.she wrote that she went to the car boot sale with mummy, daddy and sister, and we went around every stall and bought lots of things! She then drew all of us looking at the stalls complete with huge carrier bags full of stuff. God knows what the teachers thought! ?

When my DD was little she pointed to a brown mark on my arm “I’ve got one of those, she said. It’s called a hedgehog”. Of course she meant a mole!
Recently I was reading my 4 year old DGD Little Miss Princess who had to go shopping for the first time ever. She went into the butchers and asked for a loaf of bread. When I asked my DGD what shop she should have gone to, she said “Tesco’s!

I'm desperately wracking my brain for something one of my boys said when they were little but coming up blank, so I'm shamelessly place-marking coz all the previous posts have given me a huge giggle.

GillT57

My son told the assembled family group that his dad has two beards; one on his chin and one around his willy.

??

I picked up my 5 year old grandson from school last week and he introduced me to some of the mums at the school gate - 'This is my Mummy's Mummy and she is called Nannie"

These are hilarious. Thank you so much for the laughs.

One morning my DD age about 3 came into our bedroom and asked “is it Opal fruits day? (Before their name changed to Starburst)
Me: what do you mean?
DD: You know, that day when you play jokes on people. ??
That year I did a Opal fruits treasure hunt on April Fools day.
She was so disappointed when they changed the name but ever since we still celebrate Opal Fruits day, Imagine her delight when packs of Opal Fruits were back on sale recently and she’s now 41.

My daughter used to sing along to a pop song 'I'm so Horny', she would bop about with her fingers up on her head as if she had horns - and told everyone she loved the song about goats.

My ds1 when he was about 6 was asked what he had done in school that day. He told her he had done sets and you could see by her face that she thought he had said sex. He also told his Sunday school teacher that an octopus had eight testicles.

Ds2 wrote in his weekly news that we had been shopping on Saturday, to Church on Sunday and that Daddy had got drunk as usual - Dh only had one glass of sherry before lunch!

One Sunday morning OH and I were having a “cuddle”….
Then OH got up and discovered small child sitting outside our room. “What are you doing ?” “I’m just waiting until you’ve finished spidering Mummy”

How innocent life is for most little children. These anecdotes are a tonic.

Last week my daughter phoned she had been discussing Mum’s
dying with her daughter (a friend had died suddenly and it had to be explained) When her daughter said”Well it could have been much worse it could have been Grandma “ That really touched my heart.

Struggling home up a very steep hill in the pouring rain and being splashed by passing cars with youngest and the week's shopping in the heavy carriage hung Silver Cross pram and the 3 year old floundering in puddles beside me I exhorted her: "Come on, darling - Chop! Chop!" - "I AM chopping!!" came a very grumpy reply.

when she was tiny my daughter was trying to tell someone about our new dog. 'It's a cockle spaniel' she announced
still call cocker spaniels that now!

My friends little boy came out of school and told her he hadn't felt well, so he'd had to go and sit in the megalty room.

The children at my grandson’s nursery were asked, before moving on to primary school, what they wanted to be when they grow up. The boys came up with the usual replies such as policemen, firefighter, astronaut etc. My grandson thought for a moment then said “I would like to be a daddy”. Aw.

Steven 5 said to my husband “ my prick hurts” Husband a bit shocked. The lad had had a jab in arm.

Mark 4 said in corner shop queue “ you should buy that for Daddy to make him go.” He was pointing at Allbran.

Our little dog had a slipped disc and my 3 year old announced very loudly at a family gathering that the dog had a slipped dick.

My granddaughter when she was about 3 on one particularly rainy cold day asked her mum if they could go to the beach. Mum replied what in this weather. Granddaughter then said but it’s always sunny when we visit the beach. If only

I was in the bedroom changing when my 4 year old great grandson walked in. I did not have a stitch on so leaned onto the bed. He looked at me and in surprise said “grandma you’ve got a bum”.!