To see ourselves as others see us! How do you think others see you?

I am always surprised that people like me and value me.

I am quite upbeat but shy and lacking in confidence.

I just assume that however I think others see me I am wrong bercause in such circumstances one always is.

It's sad how many people on here lack confidence in themselves and I blame the education system.
I went to an all girl's school and they taught self-confidence.
If you believe in yourself, you can reach for the stars.

Someone who lived with us once told us that she was asked about life in the GA household, and her answer was that there’s no mismatch between our public and private personas. The discussion was in the context that she was very different at home with us than she was elsewhere, but we’re not.

In part I suppose that’s because so much of our daily life is exposed to the non-family people who live with us, which means that there’s very little in our lives that is actually private.

I’m quite clear how my daughter thinks of me, and it’s not pleasant. She tells me I’m aggressive, intolerant, and a TERF! Yet, she has no problem with me looking after her young children for twenty plus hours a week. The constant criticism has destroyed my self- confidence and made me dislike myself to the point that I avoid social contact and have dropped most of my friendships.

Physically I imagine people see what Blossoming describes. As for personality, probably depends in what capacity: in my professional life I was regarded as a bit fierce, although I always thought I was kind. In other situations people view me, it would seem, as kinder and more friendly than I imagine that they would.

Luckygirl3. me too unfortunately, reading the comments, I guess there are many like us. After losing my Husband 4 years ago, I didn't think it could get any worse, then my Key worker Daughter died last year of Covid, leaving my 4 Grandchildren homeless and penniless, as you say..... and so the act goes continues!

Visually, in shops, people clearly see me now as an elderly lady since I went grey! I’m still the fully functioning person I’ve always been, brain sharp, active but with a few aches and pains. It’s funny really so I’ll take full advantage!

Naninka, after reading the good reviews on your book I have bought a kindle version and have added it to my books to read.

Im glad this post came up because not long ago i said that i would like to know just how i was viewed by my friends.

I envisaged i know sat round a table, of course i was absent, a hidden camera was 'hidden' and yours truly was the subject of discussion.

Writing this down now makes me think, WHOAAAAAA WEIRD !!!!! hahahaha, but there you go. I had forgotten about it until i saw this post.

How do i see myself? Well, kind, considerate, super understanding, non judgemental but also a 'fence sitter' who will be all the things listed, ONCE i have cone off my fence.

My friend once said "You must have splinters in your arse, you've been sat on that fence so long."

Boz

It's sad how many people on here lack confidence in themselves and I blame the education system.
I went to an all girl's school and they taught self-confidence.
If you believe in yourself, you can reach for the stars.

You might blame the education system but I blame my mother.

I’m also in the group who are still mourning the loss of a loved one, I lost my wonderful husband of 43 years back in the summer and miss him so much it physically hurts. People keep telling me how well they think I’m doing and some have said they’re sure I’ll be ok because I’m such a ‘strong person’ Just shows how deceptive appearances can be. I try to make an effort & be positive when I meet up with friends who have been so kind but when I walk back into the empty house after an evening or afternoon out it really hits home.

As others have said you feel you can’t keep inflicting your heartache on others so they probably get the wrong impression. Thinking of all who are grieving, especially as we approach Christmas.

My daughter had a go at me in the summer and told me how awful I am and how I always twist everything so that others are in the wrong.I had been careful not to annoy her as she was stressed but I was amazed at her thoughts.
I have been described as very relaxed and easy to get on with, full of sensible advice and a good listener.
Ex regards me as very nosey and a mine of information and probably a bit of a bully.
I don't really recognise myself from this as I am shy and lack confidence and often feel the odd one out in groups.

I blame both kitty. Well, my sheltered upbringing rather than anything specifically negative from my parents.

People seem to see me as confident, outgoing, capable and never thrown by life. The reality is often the exact opposite, it always has been. I think I was better able to overcome it (act!) when working, I was aware of my capability and had much positive feedback. I’m also told I’m seen as kind and considerate, certainly try to be.

I'm not sure I want to hear other people's true opinions. I've been told that I appear "educated and stand-offish" - but whenever there is a tricky situation, other people ask me to "step in" as I am assertive! My husband leaves most things to me, from dealing with "officialdom (Doctors/Hospitals/Solicitors/Tradespeople)" to the Post and "what to make for meals". I am not confident at meeting other people, and prefer small groups. Like others who have already posted - I am happy with a book, a quiet room and my cats!

I think I'm quite a strong person but always try and treat everyone equally. The young woman who works for me says I treat her as a colleague but other people are under no illusions that I am her boss. I don't treat her like that on a day to day basis, I hope, but I know the buck stops here. On the other hand, a friend whom I've know for nearly 25 years, and have never had a cross word with, said I give out 'just don't mess with me vibes'. Not something I'm really conscious of.

Friends have always described me as spiritual and caring. One describes me as very calm. Another said she could not imagine me ever losing my temper or getting angry. Another says I am quirky...hahaha

My Mum is like this. She has schizoid personality disorder (nothing to do with schizophrenia!) It's a blessing really because she never feels anything too deeply - bad or good emotions - and wouldn't have it any other way. She's 94 and fit in body and mind. I believe this is partly because she simply doesn't get anxious, angry or upset about anything. She lives as we all tell her, in a contented pink bubble. When my Dad died she accepted it and moved calmly on with life.

quite a few of my closest friends say to me they wish they were like me because i don't care about what other people think of me

It's not strictly true though but I have no control over it, so I just try to not let it bother me (therapy after abuse from a parent may have helped, may not have)

Be yourself you'll meet people like you?

Well, I've never really considered how people who don't know me very well feel about me. Not my problem. But my friends and family are ultra important. I try to do the best I can in whatever I do, but I sometimes get it wrong. But I do try, and generally I feel loved and appreciated by my friends and family. I cannot ask for more than that.

I like to believe people see me as bohemian, but they really see me as eccentric!

I like to believe people see me as bohemian, but they really see me as eccentric!

I think most people behave differently depending who they are with. We are taught to mirror the person we speak with to get the best out of them in business, I think this becomes ingrown in us so we do it even in our personal lives. Some people never get to know who they really are, it takes a strong person to feel at easy with them-self in their own body.

One of my younger relatives had boyfriends from her mid-teens onwards. When she was in her early twenties she told me that she’d made a marvellous discovery - she’d decided what her favourite music style was! Up until then she had simply gone along with ‘liking’ whatever the current boyfriend liked.

Boz I only lack confidence in my looks,I left school at 15 and had my own business at 21 ,had 3 businesses running by my 30's so no problem with my ability .I went to an all girls school too ,but the nuns thought we should all be teachers or nurses or dedicate our lives to god...none of those appealed to me at all .
My mother was very image conscious when she was just days from death she told me not to wear trousers when I visited as I was too fat for them ...I was a size 10 !!It sticks though an dyou believe it because its your mother saying it