A Very Argy Christmas

It’s a good you gave me a lesson in poteen making AGA because with you away with Thor all that time I had to get cracking. Anyway it’s ready now, so help yourselves ladies before the Admiral swigs the lot.
Now where is Thor?

Oh not me ixion they’re Lemons stockings. She won’t be pleased ?. Mind you she’s does like a fancy balls.
lemon with a chest like yours you will certainly knock someone’s eye out if you dress like Madonna.
Wow Maddyone hope Santa doesn’t have a hot flush when he sees you in that outfit.
Ooh Princess Jasmine. I like the sound of that. I hope Madame Pom Pom can come up with a suitable outfit.

If we can’t find Aladdin’s lamp will my old teapot do?

Yes, but give it a swill out first Doodle

This poteen tastes a bit fishy.....is there supposed to be a small crab in it?

Sorry about the fishy poteen. Bit of an accident with a delivery. Has anyone found the lobster ??

Saw Thor using it as a nutcracker earlier

I wish Thor would crack his nuts using the proper utensil. The lobster was for Lord Lemon grove's dinner.

I think the poteen is very good, it has a certain je ne sais quoi. I’m assuming it must be the lobster, or the crab. Lord Lemongrove might miss his lobster, I suggest giving him a good swig of the poteen instead.

I’ll head down to the cellar and check we’ve enough poteen for tomorrow night. Toms sure to pull in a crowd

Oh I’m so disappointed. I thought Thor was showing me a sign of affection but it was only the lobster ? pinching my bum.
If you can get it off AGA Lord Lemongrove can still have his supper.
Anyone got a soft cushion for me to sit on ?

Tom can pull me anytime he likes ?

I really hope there’s not going to be any squabbling over Tom tomorrow …

There's bound to be a scramble or scrum to get to him first.
Those with the sharpest elbows usually win.

I have special bloomers from Madame Pom Poms all ready to throw at him! Remember when the llamas had to go there to collect a big parcel of bloomers for us all? We all had different colours and there may have been a fight over the maroon ones.

Not to worry about Lord L’s lobster, he has just sent me a message via one of his carrier pigeons to say he is getting his own supper as he knows we are busy here, has found a tin of stewed steak which looks most appetising and is heating it up with some tinned carrots.Dear man! The carrots are fine but we have no stewed steak, it’s a tin of Pedigree Chum.I expect he will enjoy it, after all he had 5 years at a minor public
school in the past.

George and I will snuggle cosily à deux in the corner by the Nespresso machine watching all these antics with a slightly bemused air.
Is it also Panto Nite with all those, er, suggestive outfits?
Who else is up for grabs?

Just seen Tom coming out of the Hot Spot Tanning salon, he’s had his top up trendy for tomorrow
He also asked if he can have his usual extras provided in his dressing room - anyone know what they are?

He’ll be barking mad if he ever finds out lemon

It’s Tom tomorrow nite ixion so the outfits will be perfect - we’ll just keep the Admiral downstairs in the cellar
Panto on Saturday so we’ll need to tone it down a bit and throw another layer on - there’s the llama blankets that we can use but they’re maybe a bit whiffy
That’s reminded me has anyone cleaned the lavs yet?

Tom’s required extras. That would be:

A Sex Bomb so he can have a fragrant bath
Some Green green grass so he can get out his lawn mower
A pussy cat so he can ask it what’s new.
A lady (in short supply round here) goodness knows what that’s for
A couple of Thunderballs ( no not his, I think it might be a cocktail)
A warm blanket coz Baby it’s cold outside
A hat, so he can leave it on
A hairdresser to trim his locks, I think she’s called Delilah
Some food to offer visitors so they can Help yourself
And some Welsh cakes because that’s Not Unusual.
Oh and someone to Love him tonight……..any offers.. ?

?

Sorry, I've been getting some necessary cosmetic procedures before the grand ball and missed Tom's arrival. I'm available for loving him tonight,if the offer is still there. I just need to watch my belly button doesn't unscrew again

Won't get much of a chance with Tom as I will be down in the cellar hard at it with Thor. We can't let the poteen run out again.
Maddy said she would help but when she knew Tom was on his way she rushed off to have her makeup done and we haven't seen her since.

That’s great Doodle thanks, a bit of a long list though what a diva he is .. hope we can get it all, I’ll check under the sink see what I can find

Ouch that sounds a bit painful grandmabatty - best leave it to the experts