A Very Argy Christmas

AGA for goodness sake we need some more poteen. Forget about going hard at it with Thor and get brewing. Really ?

I left 3 barrels full of poteen last night and they are all empty now.
The llamas are lying in a drunken heap on the cellar floor so there will be no llama rides today.
I will have to start brewing again now. Can anyone help please? Thor is nowhere to be seen and we have Tom tonight and he does enjoy a pint of poteen.

Hang on in there Aga I’ll be down in a flash …

Thank you brook. I don't know how the llamas got down here as Thor said he had locked the cellar door.

They won't be getting any tlc from me with their hangovers.

brook2704

Hang on in there Aga I’ll be down in a flash …

The Flash has all gone, I made some exotic cocktails with it this morning.
Has anyone cleaned the lavs? Doodle ?
Tom arrives about 5pm and requests a lie down in my boudoir as he needs a two hour nap before performances.

Yep lemon I gave the lavs a good scrubbing this morning, they’re sparkling clean now - unlike the floor of the cellar ?‍♀️

George and I will be otherwise engaged but, in honour of Sir Tom gracing our humble abode, I have made him some barry brith (think that's Welsh?) so he feels at home.

Brilliant ixion I’m sure he’ll enjoy that - we just need to keep him away from the poteen until later….

I've thrown the llamas out of the cellar now and Thor has returned looking pleased with himself. Does anyone know why? Or where he has been all day?
He doesn't seem in the mood for brewing so it was a good job brook helped out or we wouldn't have had enough poteen for the big night with Tom.

I saw him earlier today AGA traipsing down Pigstrotter Alley with Sven - he looked a bit sheepish to me

I think Tom left Wales a very long time ago (2pm) ?
I have given him a plate of beans on toast, two pep pills and a Viagra ( so anything could happen).

A large glass of champagne please Thor! ??

Tom has decided he will perform in the Argy tomorrow. Tonight he did a un dress rehearsal for a select (ahem) audience and was too exhausted after to do his show.
This means another 24 hours to get the poteen ready and give an extra sparkle to the toilets. Has anyone seen the leopard skin faux fur toilet seat cover I ordered for Sir Tom?

Great news Doodle - toilet seat cover is safe, it’s at the back of the bar next to the pork scratchings
Errrr May Hem showed up late last night, I’ve managed to keep her away from the Admiral until now but need some help please - she’s rather a handful to say the least

We can put May Hem in with Alarma. They are two of a kind. She can paint Alarma's nails and give her a facial. She is a little diva.

Phew! Glad we have more time to get the poteen ready. Thor still not much use talking all day about Sven.

AGA brilliant idea. May Hem and Alarma are certainly made to be together. Let’s hope they’re so occupied with their nails they don’t cause trouble.
I have heard the Captain is due back from his travels next week so perhaps he and the Admiral can keep each other chatting about their sea days.
AGA I have decided to give you your Christmas present early.
Thor is obviously off no use in the cellar whilst he’s obsessed with Sven . I present you with your new brewing assistant Bjorn. Blonde, muscular, handsome, and all for you. Please note he will not be interested in Thor or Sven if you get my drift……..although please keep May Hem and Alarma out of sight.
Brook thank you for keeping my precious toilet seat safe. I will go and put it in place for Tom now. His btm will never have been so pampered.
He is ready to go onstage soon and is taking requests………for songs girls, only for songs. ?

Thank you doodle for Bjorn. Blonde, muscular and handsome.....swoon ? Must keep my mind on the brewing.
I have made a special brew of poteen for Tom with some energy powder added
I think he will need it

Er can you slip him a double dose AGA. I think after last night he will certainly need it. I’ve seen Grannygravy in the queue for his attention and you know what she’s like ?

Bad news girls! The beans clashed with the pep pills, viagra and a pint of poteen, poor Sir Tom has just gone to A&E in a taxi, so that’s him well out of it for tonight.We shall have to try and get him back next weekend.
Meanwhile, so that nobody is too disappointed, Steamy Stan is willing to take to the stage, strip off and sing What’s New Pussycat! 1...2....3....here he comes!

You'd have thought that coming from the valleys, he'd have had more stamina...
I'll take him in some of my barry brith so he doesn't feel too homesick.

Wot no Sir Tom?. .. ?

Steamy Stan?
This is truly an assault on the senses - all of them?

It may have been your baked offerings that tipped him over the edge ixion barry brith is a terrible substance, next time bring bara brith.?

Let’s just get him off the stage now … where’s Bjorn he can sing can’t he?.

But I harvested the seaweed for it from Barry, doodle, trying to make it proper aufentik.

Wow! Just look at Steamy go!
He is being chased by a horde of screaming harpies throwing their bloomers at him.I expect he will gather them up later and take them to his laundry ( the bloomers not the harpies.)
That’s if he escapes....I see Big Brenda from the chip shop is gaining on him down Pigstrotters Alley.