Tactless remarks.

I was leaving hospital after the birth of my second son and was picked up by my husband and lovely looking toddler, first son. 'Oh he's gorgeous,' said the nurse.
'This one is really ugly,' I joked of the baby. His face was bloated with squinty eyes and he was covered in pimples, though of course I loved him nevertheless.
'Oh yes,' said the nurse, 'He looks more like you!'
Good job I found it funny.

As proud newly weds with our first house we decorated the lounge room with great care and attention. MIL just remarked ,"at least its clean". I never forgot that one and she had absolutely no idea how it came across. She also asked at the market, of a handsome young African man, for some cotton in "n**ger brown". God, I shuddered.

I cringed when a mutual friend said to a dd’s friend of 12 or 13, ‘You’re stocky, like your dad.’ I could have thumped him!

Both my parents are very deaf and have varying degrees of dementia. They constantly embarrass me with their loud, unfiltered remarks about peoples’ physical appearance

Someone I used to work with who I hadn’t seen for some time said I didn’t recognise you because you’ve put on so much weight.

Whilst training to be a nurse, my tutor took me to one side and said "Nurse CurlyMops, YOU'VE got an asthmatic looking face, would you pose for a photo for my book I'm writing?" !!!!!
It was a nursing book, and he wanted me to pose using a Nelson's Inhaler!!! NB, I'm NOT asthmatic, but do have rosy cheeks.
He also said ....... after patting the back of my head one day ... Nurse, you've got more hardware on the back of your head than British Leyland!!! Hahahaha. Well, I've never been good with hair, and did have a whole packet of grips trying to hold it off my face! Fun times (grin)

I was the one who made a tactless remark. I was with my friend and we were discussing another lady. I said "she's our age and still has long hair". My friend also had long hair! I started gabbling, but yours is lovely, making it worse!

Mil had arrived for the weekend I I splashed out on a full roast dinner on the Sunday.
Her comment; "Pork! How sensible, so much cheaper than beef"
I could have thrown it at her.

They stick don’t they those comments: three come to mind my mum to me when I was about ten ‘you’re not pretty you’re not ugly you are plain’ (She denied this later in life and I found out that her grandmother had said this to her as a child over which she was ever very resentful). But she did. I was astonished.
Then workmate, male, saying to me ‘how come all your friends are so good looking?’ And finally ‘friend’ commenting on my new partner ‘ I’m surprised, you’re not everyone’s cup of tea’
All the compliments in the world don’t quite erase these barbs do they….

I had only met one 'friend' a few times and she said, 'Oh, you're not a bit like your sister. She's really nice!'.

Two days after I had found my mother dead in bed, due to a massive heart attack my mother-in-law was having a cup of tea in our kitchen. She told me that her heart condition was worse than my mother's. I might add that my mother-in-law never had heart problems but had suffered for a time due to an overactive thyroid, which had been successfully treated. She was an extremely unpleasant woman and told me one Christmas day whilst I was cooking the Christmas dinner that I wasn't a Christian. Presumably, because I didn't go to church regularly. She never went to church either. After that, I refused to have her in my home again and to my husband's eternal credit he told her the position on Boxing day. I said nothing about it on Christmas day as I didn't want to spoil my children's Christmas. Our children were not stopped from visiting their grandparents.

My mother always undermined me
Would have been less bother if you had been a boy
You couldn't do that
Nobody will look at a plain jane like you.
You need to do something with your hair.
Surely you are not going out dressed like that.
This started when I was very young and lasted until she passed away when I was 62!

Before we were married my husband and I used to socialise with a group of friends we had in common. My husband went out with one of the girls for a while. Later his best friend took her out and they were eventually married, and my husband was best man. In part of his speech he found it necessary to say that he'd "tried out" the bride but it didn't work out! The groom that day later became our own best man, but luckily he had never "tried me out" !! We're all still friends

I was deputy principal at a school and conducted a detailed kindergarten orientation day for new children and parents. I was then showing the parents around the school and explaining all the facilities with my best enthusiastic manner when a parent asked who would be teaching the new kinder children . I replied that it would be Mrs X and myself to which she replied “Oh, I was hoping she’d get someone young and enthusiastic”!

Someone once said to me, “Oh, so you’re the one with the husband with naughty eyes.” I was shocked, but many years later he had an affair which ruined my life. So she was right all along.

Visiting friends one evening when I was 8 months pregnant, this old man who was also there was commenting vehemently on the state of the world at that time ( 1967) announced that he would never bring a child into this world as it was. I left shortly afterwards in tears.

When my DH went out for a drink with my dad just before we got married, my dad told DH that he didn’t see what had attracted him to me. My MiL told DH just before we married that to keep in mind that it wasn’t too late to change his mind. It could be said that DH was the most tactless, as he didn’t have to tell me any of this. He also told me that his mum said I was plain.

At my first wedding (only had two) my mothers 'friend' fancy man more like, (my dad was at it two) so they deserved one another - anyway this man said to me ' you aren't half as pretty as your mother was at your age'. Nice thing all done up in my wedding dress, I needed that I can tell you!

DH died a year ago, after a very traumatic three years due to illness and dementia with harrowing psychotic episodes. On mentioning recently to a friend how difficult a time it had been, he said, “ Oh well, water under the bridge now.” All I could say was, “ Never!”

My son was just being delivered, my 2nd child and 2nd son. Midwife handed him to me with the words 'oh dear its another boy, never mind you're young enough to try again'!! I was besotted with my son from first glance so I was upset at her comment. I was hurt that she could even think it.
2 years later I was back in having my 3rd ....a little girl. I dreaded seeing her as I didn't want her to think she'd been right ?

Loads of those tackless or just rude comments and usually we don't have a quick come back but DD1 told me of a lovely one.

She SiL and DGD went to his brothers wedding and the Bride said to DD 'Oh M is really pretty" DD came back quick as a flash and said "yes and she's bright too :-) wonder how we managed both" and walked away.

The - bright too - was in reference to past questions from his brother and then GF (now ex wife) about how did DD and SiL get the house they have, the jobs they have etc "when you clearly aren't very bright".

When DD was telling me she said I was so proud of myself that I had a come back and wasn't just standing there looking like an idiot with my mouth open.

Not often it happens but a very good come back.

These comments have brightened my day ???

A few of you have mentioned remarks made about children' s looks. I had just given birth to my first daughter, when my sister said ' she shouldn't have a pretty name like Karen she should be called Sally. I think it is cruel to make remarks about children's looks.

The one that sticks in my mind was related to me by a "friend" I worked with. She told me that the staff member who had just left had remarked to her that I must have been very good looking when I was younger.... I was only just over 50!

When I was in hospital just before having my DD the midwife asked me what I would call the baby and I told her the two names I would use depending on the sex. When my DD was born she said thank goodness it is a girl because I love that name. She went on to add that she had a particular dislike of the name I had chosen for a boy. 14 months later I was back giving birth to my DS and thankfully she was not around as we gave him the name she abhorred. Now my DS is a father and my DGS has the name she hated as his middle name and I love it.