Should you let guests know you're not cooking traditional Christmas Dinner

I think Christmas Day is the one day that it would be sensible to advise your guests what you are serving. As a host, I would prefer my guests to be happy with what I was offering. There is no pleasure in offering them something they don't like. It also gives them a chance to buy in the traditional meal for another day if it is important to them.

Deedaa

If I invite someone to a meal at anytime I give them an idea of what I'm serving. It means they don't have to sit and eat something they don't really like and I don't have to watch them do it.

This all the time....not only could it be something disliked, there could be an allergy etc.
For me it's just courtesy and manners.

I always tell people what we are going to eat on Christmas Day. I also ask if anyone has any food allergies/likes/dislikes. To be honest I really would not want Indian/Chinese food on Christmas Day, only because I like tradition. We don't have turkey though as we prefer chicken.

I’m someone with a nut allergy and an intolerance to pulses so I’d really want to know if it was a vegetarian/vegan meal. I probably wouldn’t be able to eat most of it!

There’s a sort of assumption that vegan is fine for anyone.

When all the family gets together I tie myself in knots trying to accommodate everyone’s different eating needs/preferences. ?

It wouldn't bother me if it was a pair of kippers.

Do you expect a copy of the menu any other day of the year? I'd be grateful to be asked

Common sense would dictate that if you invite anyone over for a meal you would tell them what you are having.

When I invite people whose likes/problem foods I don't know I ask them 'Is there anything you don't eat?' That's their chance to say. But I think inviting people to a takeaway is a bit off really.

It’s weird isn’t it. I don’t eat anything like a Christmas roast all through the year… except on Christmas Day. It’s like pancakes on pancake day. And I don’t eat meat. But love it, all the trimmings the cranberry sauce, the bread sauce, the roasted parsnips let alone the roast potatoes, the yummy sprouts, the chestnut stuffing, bring it on daughter.

Wouldn’t bother me any other time of the year but I would be disappointed not to have a ‘proper’ Christmas lunch..

I absolutely adore a traditional Christmas dinner with all the trimmings ! However I would be so delighted if invited somewhere on Christmas Day I wouldn’t care what I ate and I’d do my Christmas meal on another day !

Wouldn’t bother me at all. I’m always grateful if someone else takes the time to make or retrieve a meal for me.

For the past few years my DD1 has taken over cooking the Xmas dinner, she does a great job of it. My DH doesn't like turkey so we have always had beef and DD1 continues with that. To take the pressure off her, I do the Xmas puddings and Xmas cake. I relish no longer having to be stuck in the kitchen cooking the delicious meal she turns out. My only complaint is she serves it on Christmas eve. Christmas morning we go back to her house to watch the DGC open their pressies and nibble the leftovers. I would love to take the GC to the Christingle service held at our church on Christmas eve.

Soniah

Do you expect a copy of the menu any other day of the year? I'd be grateful to be asked

I think Christmas Dinner implies turkey, ham, roast potatoes, stuffing etc. Whereas an invitation to dinner on any other day could mean anything.
I would check though before serving anything spicy, or text beforehand to check everyone eats prawns/mushrooms/apricots or anything that's likely to be not popular with some people.
If someone doesn't eat something fairly basic like onions, dairy or garlic I would expect them to let me know.

Yes of course you should tell them.And anyone who now feels 'stuck' in an already accepted invite like this should now speak up and say "sorry but we wont be able to come after all as we prefer a more traditional christmas meal, i didnt realise it wasnt, sorry.Then they can buy less in if they havent already, or invite someone else instead if they have already paid for food.But both inviters and invitees should be honest at time of invite.If they issue they should state at time if its an 'alternative' menu.or if not you should speak up and ask, say "id love to come, but maybe not if its not a traditional christmas menu?" At this point they should say what they will be cooking, so you know whether to accept or turn it down.Why keep it secret??

clair1966

Common sense would dictate that if you invite anyone over for a meal you would tell them what you are having.

I wouldn’t do that usually, but I will always ask beforehand whether there was anything they don’t like, or can’t eat.

Christmas is IMO different though. A Sil of mine always cooks a whole salmon on Christmas Day, so I’m glad she’s never invited us! To me salmon is very overrated anyway - I much prefer it smoked, or salmon trout in summer.

It would be nice for the menu to have been mentioned at the time of the invitation or contact in between times, just to check that their guests were happy to have a different menu from the traditional.
If you really can't stand the choice that is available, you could always use Covid as an excuse and say that under the current circumstances you had decided to stay at home ?

Definitely need to say if it's not a traditional Xmas meal. I would just send apologies and say we've decided to spend Xmas Day at home but would love to visit another day.

Helen657

Ditto…

Yes a takeaway is a bit off, i agree, its the kingd of meal they could invite people round for on any other day of the year, maybe day after boxing day or some such, when folk might like a change by then from traditional christmas food, or want a break from cooking?- just as a friends/family get together/catch up during the holiday season, but not on christmas day.?

*kind of

Yes, I think you should inform them along with the invite.

Most people expect the traditional Christmas dinner, so they know what they will be eating. The alternatives might not suit them or even contain ingredients they don't like.

In my own case, there are certain foods that I cannot eat because of a medical condition. A vegan meal (much as I would enjoy it) would possibly put me in hospital with a bowel obstruction as I only have a limited amount of small intestine left in my now decimated abdomen!

I would go and enjoy Christmas with friends or family, who knows what's round the corner. Cook a turkey on boxing day if they want to be traditional.

annsixty I was once invited out with a group of friends to an Indian restaurant. I enjoyed their company but I can’t eat spicy food so the organiser checked with the restaurant, who said, “no problem” and their chef prepared an excellent vegetarian dish that had no spice at all. I’m sorry I can’t remember what it was called but as you have the name of the restaurant it should be no problem to give them a call and discuss it.

Apart from that, yes I think that if you’re not preparing a traditional Christmas Day meal then you should tell your guests in advance. In the days when I used to enjoy the sort of meal cooked by Iam and M0nica but couldn’t eat meat I’d tell the host in advance but say that I would enjoy it all but would prefer to bring a piece of Quorn ( other meat substitutes are available!) ready cooked to have instead.

It's good manners to let your guests know what you are planning to serve them, especially when it's Christmas dinner as most people would expect the traditional fare.