Should you let guests know you're not cooking traditional Christmas Dinner

What about those with allergies?

DDiL has an auto-immune illness and is now allergic to soya, nuts and most fresh fruit. Since the first two foodstuffs seem to be the foundation of vegan cuisine, there wouldn't be much in a vegan meal that she could eat.

I remember many, many years ago when our boys were little about 3 & 4 we went out to a Chinese Restaurant for our Christmas Lunch. No alcohol but I remember tea in a large Brown teapot. We felt very chic! Especially when friends asked what I did for Christmas when I told them we had Chinese at * Restaurant. [Grin]

and we really enjoyed it.

How wonderful to be invited for Christmas dinner. It is all about the company not the food. To refuse because you don't want vegan or Indian food is really bad manners in my opinion.

Yes. However, isn't Christmas dinner more about the company rather than the contents of the plate? Have turkey on Boxing day if it's important to you.

Theoddbird. Sorry for posting almost the same as you. I only read your comment after posting mine.

Yes of course

Theoddbird

How wonderful to be invited for Christmas dinner. It is all about the company not the food. To refuse because you don't want vegan or Indian food is really bad manners in my opinion.

... but what if you have food allergies?

In my own case, I'm not allergic to anything, but am on a strict, controlled diet given to me by a hospital dietician. I'd love a vegan meal, but would not be able to eat most of the ingredients. If warned in advance, I would be able to bring a couple of food items, and enjoy the meal with everyone else.

And my DIL was once hospitalised through sitting next to someone who was eating prawns... Anaphylaxis!

So it's not always a question of bad manners on the part of the guests, but consideration on the part of the host.

The guests need to know beforehand. They might be very happy to eat a different meal on Christmas day, but would like turkey etc. on another day, say Boxing day, then they need to buy the supplies before Christmas day.

If you ask someone to Christmas dinner the implication is that it will be traditional fare, so if is not going to be so this needs to be signalled upfront.

As Lily said.

Yes, I'd tell people.
We don't eat until the evening which I know isn't that popular either.

If I were invited for Christmas dinner my first reaction would be to ask what I could contribute, as a traditional Christmas dinner is costly and a big undertaking in terms of preparation both before and on the day.

So I’d probably know immediately whether the meal would be a traditional one or not, depending on the host’s response.

A few years ago it was not ‘our turn’ to be with any DC at Christmas & we got together with a very dear old friend & had a Middle Eastern feast with numerous Yotam Ottolenghi dishes. Obviously not the same as Turkey & trimmings but just as enjoyable a meal and Christmas Day.

But to answer the OP question, if it was me hosting a non-traditional Christmas dinner I’d tell guests beforehand, both to avoid their disappointment and so they could alert me to any allergies, dislikes etc.

*And my DIL was once hospitalised through sitting next to someone who was eating prawns... Anaphylaxis!
So it's not always a question of bad manners on the part of the guests, but consideration on the part of the host.*

Mother in Law always does a cheeseboard. I love cheese but am allergic to blue cheese which she always buys. She has never had any allergies to anything and blithely goes on about me not liking blue cheese!! Er no!! So far I haven't have have a severe reaction but its hard just to avoid it as everyone dives in with the same knives so the cheese I can eat plus the butter gets contaminated. I always correct MiL but to be honest the other guests don't really care. Luckily DH has long arms, grabs the cheeseboard first and cuts me generous chunks of the ones I can eat!!

My sister was invited to Xmas dinner by friends years ago and it ended up a cold buffet, turkey and ham, but with salad, etc. She was so disappointed, so I think people should be told what's on the menu.

If I was having guests for Christmas dinner and it wasn't going to be a traditional meal, I would say so.

With people we haven't entertained before, I always ask if there's anything they can't or don't like to eat.

I think you should. Christmas is an occasion. Indian takeaway is not. I could embrace the vegan option as that is a lifestyle decision and I’m sure it could be made special. I’m always up for something new. But Christmas isn’t the time for Indian takeaway.

I think I’d like to know. Christmas is a special occasion. Indian takeaway is not. I’m happy to embrace a vegan Christmas but well, Indian takeaway is just not special.

I do think if someone is having an 'alternative' Christmas Day meal, they should say what they're planning, before inviting guests who can then either accept or politely decline the invite.

Most people would probably expect a traditional turkey with all the trimmings, and may be disappointed with an Indian takeaway, which they could have any day of the week.

Saying that, if we were invited to DS, or DDs for Christmas Day, and they weren't cooking turkey, I'd be happy with anything they offered. However, we always do the full turkey & trimmings, and I know that they'd be the first to complain if I decided to offer them an alternative!

If I invited guests for Christmas dinner and decided at any point not to serve whatever meal is traditional, I would most decidedly tell my guests so in advance and give them the option of refusing.

Part of Christmas is the traditional meal. I would be horribly disappointed if any member of my family had served something that in no way resembled the traditional meal.

In the past, when inviting someone for the first time for Christmas, I mentioned when extending the inviation that in my family we eat roast duck with boiled red cabbage, potatoes and sauce, followed by the traditional Danish dessert. Some families eat goose, others roast pork, and I would have hated a guest to be disappointed.

Yes, let potential guests know before asking them. Even if they already know about your own meal preferences, it's just common manners to point out that it won't be traditional.

For me, sharing a meal is about the company, not about the menu

The food can be excellent and matching the theme of the day but if company sucks, that is a reason to decline the invite

Yes, before you invite them. Ie We are having an Indian would you like to join us! My answer would be "i have been invited to so and so's but thanks ?

How come it's now the tradition to bash anything traditionally "British" ?? Our food has been rubbished by the rest of the world(how they know what our foods like anyway?) Our history is shameful and cruel, we were the sole perpetrators of all evils in the past! Our values are tarnished by cries of "colonialist!!" What's going on? People may eat whatever they so wish for Christmas dinner .......but to impose ones choice without warning on others is tasteless(see what I did ther?)
As I always SAY-FLIPPIT how would a veggie/vegan like it if you served up/subjected them a trad. Turkey dinner? With NO alternative? Or maybe that person with a problem with allergies were told that prawns/nuts/gluten roast was the main dish? Think of others, vegan/veggies impose their tastes on everyone else but scream blue murder if you look sideways at a sausage!if you're SO good at being a bit different, try doing a menu and take on the task of cooking multiples as per guests choices?! Now thats clever!

Some of the comments here sound as if a person who accepts an invitation to dinner, does so for the food, and not for the pleasure of the company and a shared meal, and the honour of being invited to be a part of a small community. You can cook a turkey on any day of the year, really, in your own house, but you cannot dictate what others cook / serve, in their own house.

Hithere

For me, sharing a meal is about the company, not about the menu

The food can be excellent and matching the theme of the day but if company sucks, that is a reason to decline the invite

I agree but good friends would know what would be a delight for friends, and not try to shock