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Should you let guests know you're not cooking traditional Christmas Dinner

(138 Posts)
Beswitched Wed 15-Dec-21 21:47:56

Just heard 2 stories this week.

A woman at work was invited, along with her husband and daughter, to a relative's for Christmas Dinner. They accepted and have now been informed that they will be ordering in from a local Indian for dinner. Colleague is now wondering how to get out of it as they would rather have traditional Christmas Dinner at home.

A friend and her husband, who have hosted the past couple of years, were delighted to be asked to his sister's this year. Have now learnt that the couple's daughter will be cooking a vegan meal. They would not have accepted if they'd be told this earlier as they enjoy a traditional Christmas dinner.

Just hot me thinking, if you invite people for Christmas Dinner should you make it clear if you won't be serving turkey, ham and all the trimmings, as implied by the term 'Christmas dinner'.

Smileless2012 Thu 16-Dec-21 14:56:58

No one is dictating what someone should or not cook in their own home Tanjamaltija. The majority of people associate a meal on Christmas day with the traditional turkey, so IMO if you've invited people for Christmas day dinner, and are not doing a traditional meal, you should say so when the invitation is given.

4allweknow Thu 16-Dec-21 14:57:42

Surely the point of a Christmas dinner is not what you have to eat but the getting together of friends and relatives to celebrate by basically overindulging in food. I wouldn't care what was on offer.

Mummer Thu 16-Dec-21 14:58:53

If as some think it's all about the company, why bother with food at all! Clues in the invite "sharing a Christmas dinner, " not "sharing some time gossipping and messing about a bit?!"

greenlady102 Thu 16-Dec-21 15:00:55

I think its generally a good idea and polite to let people know what they will be eating i case its something they can't or don't eat....and the less well you know the people, the more information you (and they) should give.

cc Thu 16-Dec-21 15:02:11

My family would be very disappointed as they all love a traditional Christmas meal, though we do offer an alternative to the pudding as some don't like it.
I also love curry, but would definitely not be keen to have a vegan meal.
We spent Christmas in Kashmir on a houseboat in 1983 and were served chicken and roast potatoes followed by "English pudding", a yellow steamed pudding with jam and a white sauce which we were told was the traditional Christmas meal for the English, some of whom still lived in the area.

cc Thu 16-Dec-21 15:18:17

I should add that we normally have a cockerel rather than a turkey, though we do have a turkey crown too as my DH likes dry white meat. Like itgersxwe have a big piece of gammon over Christmas too. We usually finish the turkey breast as a turkey Dhansak during the following week.

HurdyGurdy Thu 16-Dec-21 15:18:48

I think yes, guests should be told that they are being invited for dinner on Christmas Day, and not for Christmas Dinner.

If I was invited out for Christmas dinner (I wish!) I would have the expectation of the usual roast turkey or other meat, the usual trimmings etc. I wouldn't refuse to go if that wasn't what was being served, but I would like to know in advance.

If we ever served anything other than Christmas Dinner and were inviting someone from outside of the family, I would let them know what was planned.

cc Thu 16-Dec-21 15:19:55

Help! Sorry, my typing went berserk.. "Like others we have a big piece of gammon..."

lemongrove Thu 16-Dec-21 15:26:20

No, don’t let them know what you will be serving, surprise them with a kipper.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Thu 16-Dec-21 15:53:32

Surely it's only polite to let people know what you'll be cooking if you're eating together? Some people suffer from allergies and we all have likes and dislikes and on Christmas Day it's not unreasonable to expect a traditional meal. Your guests may prefer to have the time and opportunity to make other arrangements.

TheMaggiejane1 Thu 16-Dec-21 15:55:10

Yes, I think you should mention that it’s not the traditional fare when the invitation is made. It would not, necessarily, make me turn down the invite but I would have to ask (tactfully, I hope) if I could bring something alternative for me as both Indian and Vegan food make me very ill. I’m doing turkey for 11 of us this year and also a vegan meal for my son.

MissAdventure Thu 16-Dec-21 15:55:44

I'd be really disappointed if I was expecting a lovely roast dinner and it didn't materialise.
It's my favourite meal.

Bazza Thu 16-Dec-21 16:11:50

I would certainly mention it if I wasn’t cooking a traditional Christmas dinner, but TBH I’d be delighted to eat (almost) anything that I haven’t had to cook.

Polremy Thu 16-Dec-21 16:36:19

Perhaps the invitation should have been worded “please come to dinner on Christmas Day” rather than “please come for Christmas Dinner”

seacliff Thu 16-Dec-21 16:51:38

I know my OH would prefer to know beforehand if it wasn't traditional. Partly because he normally go out for a few pub meals beforehand, and often choose other than traditional Xmas, waiting for the big day to savour it. Imagine the disappointment!

Having said that, I'm vegie so normally just love all the varied veg, and stuffing, and cauliflower cheese.

CBBL Thu 16-Dec-21 16:54:39

Yes, I think any host should give an indication of what is planned for the meal. These days, so many people have health problems, or allergies, I think it would be polite to do so. No host wants to have guests who do not or cannot eat what is offered.
As a "picky eater" I never expect people to accommodate my tastes and would say when accepting, "I hope you won't be offended if I leave something I dislike? I love most vegetables!"

Brownowl564 Thu 16-Dec-21 17:09:26

Absolutely, it’s very rude not to. We really dislike Indian food and I am not vegan and having nut and wheat allergies, a lot vegan food is not suitable and you can have either of those any day.
Christmas dinner is one day, most people do not have Turkey regularly but eat whatever you want just don’t expect other people to do so

mokryna Thu 16-Dec-21 17:16:36

Yes it should be said to stop disappointments. This traditional meal is only once a year.
When I was living in China, we went to a European restaurant, it wasn’t the traditional meal we all hankered for, although it was very expensive. I searched for several days after, to find a turkey, so we could have our family Christmas meal. (days before food shops)

Elvis58 Thu 16-Dec-21 18:19:43

Yes l would.But all said and done its about spending time with family and friends and no cooking, thats got to be a bonus!

Socksandsocks01 Thu 16-Dec-21 19:05:21

Christmas Dinner is a normal meat dinner. If vegan vegetarian or Indian food is being served I personally couldn't eat it. So I'd tell them outright. Thank you so much for the invite, however we are not vegans etc etc and we shall be staying at home now.

SachaMac Thu 16-Dec-21 19:51:30

I think it would be advisable to let people know in advance just so they’re not disappointed. I’d eat whatever is being served but would much prefer a traditional turkey dinner.

M0nica Thu 16-Dec-21 20:00:10

You can get together with family and friends anytime, you do not need Christmas to do that.

But for most people, Christmas is more than that. It is part of the bonding of family and friends by the following of old family rituals that everybody knows and eating the food that everyone expects and putting up with the obstreporous toddler and trying to stop at least one person from drinking too much. The traditional meal with the sprouts that several won't eat and the familiar ltenative for those who do not like Christmas pudding.

So the food counts, and counts, and counts. Tell people and give them a choice.

Lizbethann55 Thu 16-Dec-21 20:49:41

It might sound pedantic but I think there is a difference in expectation between being invited for " Christmas Dinner" and being invited for "dinner on Christmas day". If I was not doing a traditional dinner I would tell my guests at the time I invited them. Partly to make sure they liked what I planned on cooking ( I would never cook spicy food without being sure my guests liked it) and that they had no allergies. My DiL to be is allergic to peas and apples, fortunately I checked whether or not she had any allergies before she first came as I had planned on making a fruit salad.

Janburry Thu 16-Dec-21 20:51:31

If l was being invited for Christmas Dinner l wouldn't buy a turkey for myself so yes l would be very disappointed, if l was told first then l could do my own idea of a Christmas dinner boxing day

MissAdventure Thu 16-Dec-21 21:09:22

I think I'd go in the loo and have a little cry if it was something I didn't like for dinner.
I couldn't eat fish, however polite I was trying to be.