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What wold you do?

(38 Posts)
Luckygirl3 Sat 01-Jan-22 12:30:59

I have a very dear GD aged 9, and she is clearly beginning to put on more weight than is healthy for her. We are a family of string beans (except for me now I am immobile and putting on a bit of weight) and it really stands out. Her parents are aware and have spoken to me about it out of her hearing. However they still leave her to dip into snacks ad lib, and she is rarely seen not eating.

Her parents know it is a problem brewing, but do not seem to be doing anything about it. Clearly it is not my job to say anything and I will not - they have to handle it in their own way - but it does trouble me a lot.

Another relative, who has not seen her for a long time, commented to me about it yesterday - so it is clearly noticeable.

Forsythia Sat 01-Jan-22 16:34:14

Is this little girl very active? Mine were always doing something: dancing, swimming, gymnastics etc. If this child has no activity in her life apart from watching TV or similar then this will be a part of the problem. Could a New Years resolution include a new active hobby?

Luckygirl3 Sat 01-Jan-22 16:36:11

Let me be absolutely clear - there is no way on this earth that I would comment on it! - I am very well aware of the dangers that even a passing comment can cause.

I am just trying to think how I might respond if her parents bring it up with me again. I want to be supportive and not critical, whilst at the same time being very aware what the source of the problem is.

And I wondered if anyone else has experienced the same.

Forsythia Sat 01-Jan-22 16:38:18

If they bring it up with you again surely you can mention the snacks etc? They are clearly wanting guidance.

MissAdventure Sat 01-Jan-22 16:38:43

I think I would just ensure only healthy snacks were available in my own home, and say absolutely nothing.
Hopefully she will continue growing upwards, and any issues will even themselves out.

I'm still hoping that might happen in my case. blush

grannysyb Sat 01-Jan-22 16:47:39

My lovely GD1 is a big girl, five foot ten, and probably a good size 18. She is eighteen now, and has been overweight for a long time. However whenever DD raised the subject with her she never wanted to know. She is now in her first year at university and has settled in well. She seems very comfortable with her size. I wish that she would lose the extra weight, but it has to be her decision.

Kim19 Sat 01-Jan-22 20:12:48

I thoroughly remember becoming rotund around the age of eleven. I was sporty and active and declared my discontent to my Mum. She simply dismissed my worries by saying it was only puppy fat and would disappear in due course. Happily what she said materialised but I do wonder what she did to help without me noticing. She was pretty astute and totally supportive.

Esmay Sat 01-Jan-22 20:49:35

Say nothing.
Her parents will have to address it .
You will only cause offence even if your comments are well meant .

I opened a real can of
worms when I expressed concern about my granddaughter's lack of basic reading and writing skills .
And infuriated my son when I asked my grandson not to run around a busy restaurant .
The waitress nearly fell over with a huge tray of glasses .
Criticising children to their parents doesn't sit well .

kittylester Sat 01-Jan-22 20:57:30

A couple of my children have gone outwards and then upwards and taken up the slack as it were so I would just let it be whilst not having 'bad' things around.

Shelflife Sun 02-Jan-22 00:45:32

Her parents are obviously aware of the situation. Yes it would help if the snacks were not so available. However , the last thing your GD needs is an eating disorder and body image issues . I would suggest her parents cut down on buying snacks , the child is only 9 and unless she is grossly overweight I would leave well alone for now.

HowVeryDareYou Sun 02-Jan-22 18:20:00

Is your Granddaughter active? Does she play sports, swim, dance? My 10 year old GD is big for her age but is tall too. She wears clothes 12-13 years. She does eat quite big meals, but any snacks she has are fruit. She goes swimming twice a week, plays football in the school team, and also rides her bike at weekends (too dark after school).

Please don't mention to your GD or her parents about her weight. My GD told me her sister (14) has called her names, which upset her so much.

Jaxjacky Sun 02-Jan-22 18:55:09

I think if they ask you again Lucky you need to be honest and state the obvious, as you’ve told us here.

welbeck Sun 02-Jan-22 18:59:28

the parents need to shew some leadership by not having junk things to eat in the house, and by enjoying and sharing healthy food items.