My grandchild came out as transgender

I have no experience of this. Just be there for them, they will always be your grandchild.

I agree with everyone who has said how supportive this thread is. It's lovely. Shows GN at its best.

I feel for you , this is a massive shock for you but I doubt it is a phase. My family is going through the same thing , a close relative has declared she is a he. Aged 14 and now has a boys name. The whole family did not see it coming!! but have all been supportive. No treatment has been started but he is happy that we are all supporting him. Teagirl1960 , just do what you always have done - keep loving her and show your love even if you are devasted. You say you are not coping but trust me you will find the strength to cope ! Remember she is the same person and will always be your much loved grandchild. Trans people have always been here but are now able to be honest so we should be happy that is the case. Apparently
there is now a big increase in teenagers wishing to transition. I wish you and your family well and send you lots of ' hugs ' and hope all the support you receive on GN will help you navigate this situation - you will be ok ! ??

i worked for a lady in her own home and became good friends with her son, i knew he was keeping some things to himself but it was not my place to pry, he sat me down and told me he was going to become a girl, all i said was okay, we told his mum together and she was great about it. that was 12 years ago and she has had all her ops and has been living happily with her partner for several years. they are still your grandchild but now you have a grandaughter. just accept it and let them work out what is best for them, please don't push them away or change your attitude towards them, let them know that you love them regardless of being a boy or girl.

Still your lovely grandchild. Support as much as you can, it was a brave step. I hope she waits before surgery if she is going down that path. I have a friend whose grandchild has been trans many years but didn’t want any operations.

Would it be helpful to recommend some books etc?

I'm pleased that people are being supportive.
But, I find it worrying that this is happening in such vast numbers and people aren't questioning things more.

You have to ask yourself, would the child be so quick to transition if:-

a) they lived on a remote Scottish Ireland with no Internet access.
b) this was 50 years ago.

The answer would be - very unlikely!

I'm so pleased my children grew up in an era when the Internet was in its infancy and they didn't have people coming into their schools and filling their young, highly impressionable minds with all sorts of confusing things
I feel that we're failing in our protection of children at the moment.
What's that saying?
Leave them kids alone.

*Island not Ireland

snowberryZ

I'm pleased that people are being supportive.
But, I find it worrying that this is happening in such vast numbers and people aren't questioning things more.

You have to ask yourself, would the child be so quick to transition if:-

a) they lived on a remote Scottish Ireland with no Internet access.
b) this was 50 years ago.

The answer would be - very unlikely!

I'm so pleased my children grew up in an era when the Internet was in its infancy and they didn't have people coming into their schools and filling their young, highly impressionable minds with all sorts of confusing things
I feel that we're failing in our protection of children at the moment.
What's that saying?
Leave them kids alone.

snowberryZ: change is always scary and it's fine to be worried. But we shouldn't pass our worries onto the younger generation, we should simply offer them love and support
I prefer
^Don't criticise what you can't understand.
Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command
For the times they are a-changin'^

My granddaughter has said the same, she has changed her name too. Im not sure that in her case it is a phase but whatever it is certainly how she feels right now. She might wish to change but she is still my lovely grandchild!

Questioning is not the same as criticism.

As for 'accepting change'
Not all change is good.

Same as being a good parent or grandparent isn't always about saying Yes.

We all have our opinions.

Teagirl 1960. This is a massive deal for your GC and your family. I. Can recognize your distress , you say you are not coping - but believe me you will ! It is hard to readjust your feelings and if this situation continues you will grieve for the GS you thought you had. However remember your GC is still the same GC and right now needs your love and support. Please go with the flow and simply show your love. In time you will come to terms with what is happening , I know it is a huge shock ( in the literal sense of the word) but those emotions will pass and the love you have will see you through and your GC will love and respect you for simply being there. Sending ' hugs' ??

snowberryZ

I'm pleased that people are being supportive.
But, I find it worrying that this is happening in such vast numbers and people aren't questioning things more.

You have to ask yourself, would the child be so quick to transition if:-

a) they lived on a remote Scottish Ireland with no Internet access.
b) this was 50 years ago.

The answer would be - very unlikely!

I'm so pleased my children grew up in an era when the Internet was in its infancy and they didn't have people coming into their schools and filling their young, highly impressionable minds with all sorts of confusing things
I feel that we're failing in our protection of children at the moment.
What's that saying?
Leave them kids alone.

Quite possibly, 50 years ago, on a remote island this wouldn't be happening. Externally. Because the fear of ostracism, rejection and violence would be so great the individual would be too scared.

Is that what we want? People to conform out of fear? Doesn't sound like a great place to live.