Helicopter parents!

bugbabe
Understand totally where your coming from. My mum is exactly the same and always has been. And the worst thing is she’s the same with my AC drives us all crazy.
For this reason I never ask my AC to phone when they get there or phone at all to be honest,only want them to call when they want to not out of duty .

Dinahmo

I thought that helicopter parents referred to parents of younger children.
Perhaps I'm wrong.

Me too, I thought it was the sort of parents who are always "hovering" over their school age children, the ones who constantly check the corriculum and pester the teachers to discuss their child's progress, who send their offspring to endless out of school clubs and stay behind to see how they are doing, to complain if their little darling isn't given the starring role in the school play or picked for the first team in sport,
After reading this thread it seems some parents just can't help "hovering" no matter how old the offspring.

Helicopter parents are over involved with their children sorting out any little problems that their children are more than capable of. I always think that it often applied to children who are at university etc, although I suppose it could apply to any older child.

I am involved with my family but I wouldn’t call it helicopter involvement. We share the same hobbies, we help each other when needed or asked, that’s what families do

Galaxy

I am in my fifties my dad who is approaching 80 regularly rings me with a 'frost warning' before I go to work .

Your relationship with your Dad sounds lovely Galaxy

Honestly hes just been over to have a look at the roof I have just had repaired 'well it will do I suppose' .

?? not up a ladder I hope!

OP hasn’t responded to requests about how she considers she interferes. Unless she does it’s impossible to venture an opinion.

I experienced helicopter parents when I was a teacher. They were the ones who knew better than me what the grade of their child should be. I marked higher English papers for sqa but they knew better. They would insist on extended deadlines for work their child hadn't handed in. They would excuse failure to do course work. They were and are the bane of a teacher's work.

I might have been a helicopter parent after reading Grandmabatty’s post. One parents’ evening I asked the teacher what DD needed to do to improve her marks as DD wondered what she was doing wrong. Evidently just asking was enough. Her marks improved from them on.

I don't think it's the same thing Mollygo. Asking how you can help your child improve is natural. I have done it myself. Telling the teacher that their marking is incorrect and they know better (as a non teacher) is something else.

Both my mother an my mother in law expected a phone call to say we were home safe. I don't know what they thought they would be able to do if we weren't.

Deedaa It means peace of mind to them, and if you do not ring, it suggests that there could have been a problem and that they should try to ring you. It may just be a car breakdown, or hold up on the road but it could mean you have had an accident.

I can remember the worry my grandparents felt at a time before mobile phones when there was a major fatal rush hour rail accident on the line that brought their daughter home from work each day. They did not know whether she had been on the train or what had happened. She was due home at 6.00, she finally arrived home at midnight, she had been on the train following the one involved in the crash, held on the train for hours until they could back it up to the previous station and let the passengers off and then had to walk many miles home as all telephone boxes had huge queues and buses were full.

I worked with a helicopter parent, newly qualified as a teacher, whose first, and only, teaching post was in the school her intelligent and motivated children attended. She was the bane of the Primary department, constantly criticising their teaching and demanding work was remarked after she had 'checked it over'. Standardised tests were a nightmare.

The children had to be top in everything to satisfy their mother; eventually she beggared herself sending them to a mediocre private school instead of the local grammar schools both wanted to attend, because state education wasn't good enough. Both achieved their mother's ambition in choice of career, but now in their thirties one has moved far away and is considering a change of career and one is estranged because she cannot stop trying to dictate their careers, relationships and now child-rearing.

The tragedy is everything she did was for the benefit of her children, but she regarded them as an extension of herself, not independent personalities and they finally rebelled.

Despite being asked, OP hasn't given any indication of her level of involvement with her adult children so advice is meaningless. Another one who writes a post and sits back watching?

I dont really mind that Germanshepardsmum. I get enjoyment, if thats the correct word for it, out of reading the replies.
I dont talk to anyone bar my husband most days, so it helps me feel connected to others.

'3 rings' ......

Do you do that, or get your children to Jdotj?

I love the term 'Helicopter parents'. Now my son tells me he and his wife are 'sandwich fillings' as they worry about their DC and DPs.