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Retirement wishes and reality

(140 Posts)
nanna8 Sat 19-Mar-22 12:18:36

When I was working flat out I had this fantasy about retiring to this very remote seaside village where we had a little shack. Nothing there except sea, sand and one store a couple of miles away in those days. I’d no sooner want to live there now than fly. Hardly anyone lives there,no one to talk to, just nature but at the time I was so busy, dealing with dozens of people every day.
Did you have any such fantasies before retirement ? Or do you if you have not yet retired ?

echt Tue 22-Mar-22 23:16:46


Sorry, for those whose retirement plans have been shattered due to bereavement.
Welcome to Aussiegran - I’ve only recently realised that this site covers other countries, not just U.K. That really is great!

I'm another in Australia, and not even a grandmother. smile

I like the range of topics here on GN, with the immediate focus on people of one's age.

AussieGran59 Wed 23-Mar-22 02:44:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

effalump Wed 23-Mar-22 10:25:19

When i started working at the age of 15, I understood that I had to work until the age of 60, unless I made tons of money and could retire early. From then onwards, I decided I wanted to retire at 55 or better still, 50. Well that balloon soon burst, after several decades of the gender pay gap and, not being too bright, having run of the mill jobs, here I am with still another year and a half to go before State Pension. Good job I don't have a lavish liftsyle. smile

OmaLoocie Wed 30-Mar-22 00:28:21

I thought we'd get ourselves a little camper and poodle about Britain during the Summer months but DH's health problems have kind of put paid to that. I have always wanted to live somewhere gorgeous and remote but, realistically speaking, that isn't practical the way society works now with poor local transport and all the little post offices and shops closed down. I still work part-time, and I'm glad, because it means I can escape the house. It's not that I don't love DH, just that having him constantly around - but doing pretty much nothing every day - is getting on my nerves. If his health was better the situation would probably be better - at least I'd like to think so, anyway. But yes, dreaming about what one will do when retired never took into consideration health problems, general wear and tear, and changes to retirement ages. If my hubby had been able to retire five years ago when he originally should've done, until the government upped the age limit, we probably wouldn't be in this position now.

OmaLoocie Wed 30-Mar-22 00:44:13


All my retirement plans have gone out of the window - any money I had set aside for this event is now being spent on my son's custody battle to gain access to his children.

Oh, god, LisaP, I really feel for you with this. Such a painful situation. Hope you both get a good outcome as soon as possible.

LOUISA1523 Wed 30-Mar-22 08:33:35


I knew I was going to face a pretty solitary retirement when I married my second husband who is 7 years younger than me. I retired and was able to claim my state pension at 62 (8 years ago) but he isn't eligible for his for another 4 years. I'm perfectly willing to pursue my own activities and for a while after retirement I did voluntary work but I'm no longer able to drive (failing sight) and, post Covid I have yet to feel confident about using public transport again. We have endless debates about whether DH should just stop work now so that we can visit family more (they live nearly 4 hours away) and do things together before I have even more health problems. But it would be very difficult to live just on my pension, especially now with living costs rising so hugely, and we'd have no spare money to do anything anyway. I'd be interested to hear what others have done whilst waiting for younger (or still working) husbands to retire. I sometimes feel like I'm just wishing time away, which is stupid.

I'm 7 years younger than my partner...he retires next year at 66 and I will retire too ( at 59) ....we have savings....I have x 2 pri ate pensions... we are quite frugal anyway but still plan to travel

FindingNemo15 Wed 30-Mar-22 09:00:45

We escaped to the country and it is not all it is cracked up to be. Our village is very cliquey, the village shop is expensive, the buses are few and far between and our property is now proving to be a headache due to ill health of my DH.

What will happen when driving is not an option I dread to think.

PECS Wed 30-Mar-22 11:16:17

FundingNemo15 When DH & I (aged 63/60) moved to a small former market town from suburban city living we did have a list of priorities as we did not want to be forced to move again so walk to a shop , public transport and close to a bigger town. 11 years on & we are OK but when driving or mobility may become difficult it will need us to reflect... however that may have been the same if we had still been in the home in the suburbs ...

matina Thu 12-May-22 15:19:26

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Marydoll Thu 12-May-22 15:27:29

I had dreams of DH and I travelling all over Europe, ill forced me to retire early and no-one will insure me!

However, a change of mindset was required, we now try to have a day at the sea or a few days away in a cottage.
It means if I take ill, I can get home quickly or access help.
It is just as enjoyable, but in a different way.

Barmeyoldbat Thu 12-May-22 15:58:37

I had to retire at 57 due to ill health. It took a few years to get stable but I did. Mr.B decided he wanted to retire 3mlnths before he was sixty. We had savings and both had private p ensigns, so we did our sums and decided to we could afford it. We were also able to go out to SE Asia for 3 or4 months over the winter as the pound was strong. So. That’s what we did for 10 years until I had my knee replaced and then along came Covid. So I am really pleased we did what we did, we have some lovely memories.

Jaxjacky Thu 12-May-22 16:38:02

Not as exotic Barmeyoldbat but I retired early after a prior 6 month sabbatical which we spent in France. After retirement we spent 8 months of the following four years in France, a magical time, MrJ is self employed and younger than me, we both worked p/t in France. Then came Covid and all the Brexit changes, but we’re both so very glad we did it, I have a private pension we lived on, plus bits of work.
It wasn’t planned much in advance, just opportune.

Cabbie21 Thu 12-May-22 19:12:55

DH chose to start another job when we both retired from teaching at 60, and carried on working for six more years. After that we moved from an uninteresting city suburb to a small market town, well chosen for its amenities, though as DH’s mobility has worsened, he has to drive everywhere. We have an excellent bus service. My daughter lives in a village not far away so I see her once a week, and my son is not very far away but we see him less often.
On the face of it, everything is good, but DH has health conditions and poor mobility which makes outings tricky and holidays need lots of careful planning. He has problems eating out so it is always self- catering, though he will agree to a couple of pub meals during the week.
I mostly have to do my own thing, and I have a number of pleasurable activities which focus my week, but little enjoyment of a joint retirement. I had hoped to travel, but that chance has passed, and although our health is stable, we have little energy and too many aches and pains these days. But we are better off than many, and still have each other and family.

SuzieHi Thu 12-May-22 19:37:18

We were working so hard- both starting to get exhausted.
2 close friends, younger than us, died suddenly in their early 50’s. Wake up call for us. Within a few years we’d saved enough to retire early. Fortunately we’re well & have managed to travel a lot & generally please ourselves. Includes moving / renovating/ making new friends / helping with grandchildren etc. We know we’re exceptionally fortunate- long may it last.