Childfree and smug

They may not be child free by choice, their ‘smugness’ may hide an ocean of tears as they try to convince themselves and others that they are better off child free. Just don’t read what they post if it annoys you.

Its easier to let people think its a choice than face the pitying looks and invasive questions when theres an absence of the patter of little feet.I have 10 years between my (surviving) children ,there was a baby who lived 4 days and 6 miscarriages in that time ,no one knew about any of the miscarriages,not even close family.When my baby died I felt I had to manage everyone elses grief instead of trying to get through each day myself so it was much simpler if people thought we just didn't want anymore children

i was told when i was 18 that i could not have children and i was fine with that as i did not want to be a mum, i grew up being the eldest and i think that put me off. i became pregnant at 23 and it was a shock, i love my son to bits but i made sure i did not have any more. my son has 3 half siblings and 2 of them did not want kids, i also have a half sister and she does not plan to have them, i also have a sister with 5 and a brother with 9. i know there is lots of women out there who would have loved to have children but there is also a large population that do not want them, some people prefer to have a career. people on the internet never seem very real to me and say things to get attention, if they are happy with a pet then good for them.

You seem to be suggesting OP that if you can love a dog or cat you can love a child so why not have one?

Speaking for myself, because I like time on my own, I like having disposable income, I like not having to think of someone else first all the time, I like being with adults and I like cute animals. Screaming children and lifelong commitment, not so much.

Maybe I'm just being smug.

Why not just let them shower love on pets if it makes them happy?

No need to be judgemental of another persons life choices which have absolutely no impact on your own life.

I didn't want children. I was convinced to have a baby by my then husband. However, despite wanting a family, he left all of the childcare and responsibility to me. And was disappointed when I refused to have a 2nd.

I don't regret the choice, but if I had my life to live again, I wouldn't have children. Like the Instagram journalists, I'd stick to animals. Much easier!

Why judge people? It is their business, so what if they prefer pets, maybe they wanted children but never found the right person, or they were unable to conceive, or simply didn’t want them. Life doesn’t always go to plan.

I get where the OP is going. Some child-free people. and it is a small group, do go on about how being child free means they can go where they want, do what they want, have so much more money because they are not tied down by children, but then acquire pets, which to my mind are far more of a tie than children and often for much longer and they seem to end up spending as much on the pet than one would on child.

As I said, these are a small group of attention seekers, just looking for online attention and there are such attention seekers all over the place.

I do not think the OP is referring to the majority of childless people, whether childless by choice or, so to speak, having it thrust upon them for numberless reason. Just those who crow over being childless, while their lives are run round their cats, dogs or what other animal they favour.

We know a couple, she has two children by a previous partner, he has none, she told him ‘a baby or a dog’, they’ve got a dog. They refer to themselves as Mummy and Daddy to said cockapoo, beats me.

i really love my dog and i don't understand this post

Me neither JaneJudge Live and let live I say. Don’t judge ‘til you walk a mile in someone’s shoes.

I feel the same JaneJudge. I can only think people don’t realise the love we have for our animals is quite different to the love for our children.

Me too JaneJudge - I don’t get it either . **

Casdon, JaneJudge, but this thread doesn't refer to people like you who may be childless and have pets but do not run their whole lives around their pets, and think that everyone on any social media just wants to know about them and their dog. Some women have had their pets cloned! It costs an enormous amount of money.

Yes, of course that is their choice' etc etc, but living as we do in a world wher so many in need, spending that much on cloning a pet strikes me as a morally reprehensible act.

pets, which to my mind are far more of a tie than children and often for much longer

Oh, I can't agree with that M0nica.

You can't put the children in the cattery when you go on holiday.

I have quite a few too many children but I have still always loved my dogs

I may have to leave facebook as I post more about my dog than anyone.

I'm not sure where cloning came into it but I'd like to clone myself so that my husband was happier, maybe. I could then walk the dog more. I imagine he'd be more miserable though with two of me

Is it that because people are behaving towards pets in the way they previously sneered at when parents behaved in a similar way .. not because they love their pets but because it feels hypocritical ...

my parents used to be awful to our dogs, hit them with newspapers and stuff

I do positive reinforcement with mine, it was over their heads but they know acknowledge my dog has more intelligence than them

now and know btw, my computer also thinks it is more intelligent than me. I suspect it is correct

Do you have a pet though Monica? I can assure you that it’s quite possible to shower lots of love on it as well as your children, I’ve got two children and a dog, and also had two cats until they died of old age recently.
It’s love, just not the same love - and I don’t think OP mentioned the instagrammers running their lives around their dogs?

No one should be vauntng their lifestyle over anyone else's. Anyone who does doth protest too much in my opinion.

I think you've hit the nail on the head, PECS.

I'm all for sharing the love, whether it is pets or children, but yes, some show disdain the sharing of baby photos, yet do the same with their dressed up doggies.

I love my children, now grown up, very much, but I loved my cats very much too. We don’t have a cat any longer, mainly because prior to Covid we travelled a lot, and had to leave them, so when the last one died, we decided not to get another. Yet. Maybe in the future.