Not good at organizing parties...

I think it is unreasonable for the husband to expect you to organise a party. That’s a lot of work and very difficult to do if you do not know a lot of her friends. Surely he could organise it or is he acting the helpless male to offload the work ? If it were me I would just say to the husband that whatever he plans for his wife’s birthday you would be happy to contribute some food towards it if he lets you know what he what.

You start by asking your friend whether she wants a celebration.

I would be horrified if anyone planned one for me, as I dislike the very idea. If I want to celebrate an event, I will organize it myself.

If your friend, like me, does quite definately not want a celebration, your task is to find out what she would like her husband to do to show his love and appreciation of her.

She might be happy to go away for a weekend with him, or out for the day on her actual birthday.

But do please consider her wishes.

Please make sure your friend wants the fuss of a birthday partyi. My sister got so stressed about the thought that someone might organise a party for her birthday that she had a heart attack and ended up in hospital on the birthday.

I would think the way the economy is now, and probably will be for a few years, parties would be the last thing anyone would think about doing. Hopefully, if anything good comes out of this, it will be the end of the ridiculous trend for buying all attendees a gift bag full of goodies. It's all about advertising the fact that the Birthday Boy or Girl's parents are well off.

I am another one that hates surprise parties! My son organised ones for my 50th - when my pamper session at the local salon took a lot longer than expected, due to the varnish on my toe nails not drying ! It was a week night, so my family only stayed long enough to see me blow ot the candles on my cake , and then they all left!
My 60th at least was at a weekend. I was hoping just to go out for a meal and ended up at my local village hall just family again and I was so grumpy as my son had done it last minute and forgotten most of the food, along with any enetertainment and the hall was freezing cold!
I think your friend's husband is possibly looking for suggestions from you as to what they could do.
The open house is a lovely idea - even better if you could ask the different groups that she belongs to , to help by supplying some of the food throughout the day for a running buffet or a "grazing table" as they call it in Oz, get extra help from those friends to be around to swap and change what is on offer food wise.
Just try to make sure that it doesn't run too late or your friend may wish to see the back of you all before time!
Also suggest to the DH that he arranges for something that just the two of them can do - a break away or just a meal out will be much appreciated I bet!

My family and friends know better than to organise a party for me. My sons arranged a trip to Paris for my 60th birthday, which was terrific. They did consult me first.

Summerlove

OP, do you even want to organise it?

Id hand the reigns back to him- he who should be organising the party

I agree with this. Who knows better than her husband if your friend would like a big party or he should do.
If she does he should know who she would like to be there.
Point him towards Waitrose or M&S where you can order a buffet for quite large numbers of people and if he asks for help say you would rather be a guest and could their family step in.
I would hate a large party and have even gone out with the family when I suspected one was being planned and just dropped hints well in advance of what we were doing, so all plans could be cancelled.

What a lovely friend you are. Yes help her Dh organise something.
Sorry you didn’t get to have your own celebrations make sure you 3 friends DO go out for Dinner to celebrate yours belatedly !

Thanks for all the advice. Her DH isn't asking me to take over, just suggested that he needs some help. My friend is on the quiet side so won't want a big fancy splash, so I'm leaning towards suggesting a BBQ which I will help with, may even host it at my house so she won't feel the need to clean up.

Her DD is very scattery and unorganized, but does make beautiful cakes, so she will indeed be helping!

Her DD is very scattery and unorganized, but does make beautiful cakes, so she will indeed be helping!

Well, that's the puddings sorted!

One less thing to worry about.
Get your friend's DH to organise the drinks, give him suggested menu and where to order the food and get him and your DH to take charge of the BBQ itself, the seating etc.

You could do some salads!
Sorted.

Some people are wonderful 'organisers' - and others, like me make good guests. I wouldn't be drawn into organising anything (even for family, let alone friends). I'd hate to have a party arranged, especially a surprise one. I was taken out for a special family meal, much better.

I think her DH has a real cheek 'hinting' for your help - when he should be doing it himself!

My friend arranged her own 70th party, though. She hired a hall, DJ and buffet caterers - then invited everyone she wanted there!

The secret is to be a good delegator.