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Calling parents but their first names….os it acceptable?

(111 Posts)
Sago Sun 01-May-22 14:11:55

My very lovely daughter in law calls her parents by their first names.

I have never asked her why.
They are a very traditional and loving family, no skeletons or weird stuff!

I would hate it if our children did the same, being Mum and Dad is so special and such a privilege.

Would it worry you?

maddyone Sun 01-May-22 14:14:49

I wouldn’t like it, but it’s up to them I think.

welbeck Sun 01-May-22 14:15:09

tends to be the same group who walk around naked in the house; not my background.
each to their own i guess.

tanith Sun 01-May-22 14:18:42

One of my GDs calls her Mum my daughter by her christian name I’ve no idea why, her 3 brothers call her Mum. Honestly I don’t think I’d mind that much.

crazyH Sun 01-May-22 14:18:47

No way- not to me anyway. I am ‘Mum’ to my 3. My youngest son calls me by my first name as a joke. When I’m visiting, his greeting is “ so H, what’s all the news then ?“ and I say “give me a chance N, I need that cup of tea first ‘ 🤣🤣🤣

Smileless2012 Sun 01-May-22 14:29:22

I wouldn't like it but each to their own.

Audi10 Sun 01-May-22 14:34:29

It seems to be a thing now, my four don’t! We wouldn’t like it, we are Mum & Dad

ElaineI Sun 01-May-22 14:38:35

None of ours do that. SiL and DS fiancee call us by our Christian names but that is fine.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 01-May-22 14:42:35

Same as Smileless. Our daughter in law calls us by our Christian names which is fine but our son wouldn’t.

Shelflife Sun 01-May-22 14:46:53

Our three call us Mum And Dad - that's how we like it. Their spouses use our first names - we like that. Does' really matter , personal choice.

FarNorth Sun 01-May-22 14:51:30

My kids always called me by my name from quite early on, I'm not sure why but I never minded.
My DS (at about 4) also tried calling his granny by her name but she said she liked him to call her granny as that was special.

I have one grandchild and I don't think I'd like her to call me by my name but if she really wanted to I'd get used to it.

JaneJudge Sun 01-May-22 14:52:38

Mine sometimes call me by my first name. I think they find it funny

Hetty58 Sun 01-May-22 14:53:16

I don't think it really matters - just different family habits. DILs and SILs call me by my first name. I do think it's most peculiar, though, when people call their in-laws Mum and Dad!

JaneJudge Sun 01-May-22 14:53:56

crazyH

No way- not to me anyway. I am ‘Mum’ to my 3. My youngest son calls me by my first name as a joke. When I’m visiting, his greeting is “ so H, what’s all the news then ?“ and I say “give me a chance N, I need that cup of tea first ‘ 🤣🤣🤣

oh another one smile it's my sons too. I am Mummy to my daughter, never my name! I think Mummy sounds well posh too-something I'm not!

catladyuk Sun 01-May-22 14:57:57

friends of ours now in their seventies, brought their four children up to call them by their christian names. their reasoning was that they wanted to be seen as equals and friends rather than authoritarian figures. this may sound like a recipe for disaster but not so, all four are level headed adults who did not run wild or cause their parents any worry during childhood/teenage years. not for most of us i suppose, but each to his own.

LOUISA1523 Sun 01-May-22 15:12:27

My eldest calls his Dad by his first name , always has....he has called me Mother for the last 15 years....makes me feel ancient at 57 🙄..... the other 2 just say mum and Dad....2 of my GDs call me Granny ...the other GD calls me by a nickname of my first name....I honestly don't care what anybody calls me

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 01-May-22 16:23:43

When my dear late husband was a child his best mate's parents divorced, so his friend began to call his stepmother, and subsequently his dad by their first names. DH thought this was a good idea so followed suit with his parents who didn't object.

When my parents and his all met for the first time my dad was so aghast at DH calling his parents Tom and Jane that you'd think he'd strangled a kitten.

Kate54 Sun 01-May-22 16:28:09

I don’t care for it personally. I have noted it is definitely a middle class habit, mostly to be found in the South of England.

Mine Sun 01-May-22 16:35:26

My father called his mother Maggie all his adult life...He adored his mother.. When I asked him why he said it was a term of endearment...All us grandchildren and great grandchildren called her Granny Maggie....

Farmor15 Sun 01-May-22 16:43:12

My friend's cousin always called his parents by 1st names, and that was in 1950s, so not new! He was an only child and they were an arty family.

M0nica Sun 01-May-22 16:46:32

The children of a friend always called their parents by their first names. Yes, slightly hippy dippy, but certainly not the kind who walked naked round the house.

Their mother was a lovely kind person who was a dear friend of mine for over 45 years and who died suddenly a fortnight ago. I was discussing with her son where to hold the wake after the funeral. We, half jokingly, considered the local football stadium, so many people have expressed a desire to be present. I can forgive her expecting her children to call their parents by their first name

VioletSky Sun 01-May-22 16:54:09

One of mine at school tried "Mrs Sky" a couple of times but I said mum is fine lol

If the relationship was fine I wouldnt worry

grannyactivist Sun 01-May-22 16:55:42

I am ‘mummy’ to my two daughters and ‘mum’ or ‘mother’ to my sons. When I married my husband I had children from a previous marriage and my parents-in-law asked the children to call them by their first names. Since then both their sons and all their grandchildren have done so.

Ladyleftfieldlover Sun 01-May-22 17:00:11

I had friends who called their parents by their Christian names in the 60s/70s. They were a bit hippyesque. My elder son has always called OH by his Christian name. I was Mother but now it’s Nanna. My other two call us mum and dad. Just to add - sometimes our 6-year old granddaughter calls OH by his Christian name (and giggles) but refers to him as granddad.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 01-May-22 17:07:19

Sorry to hear about the loss of your old friend MOnica. So much shared history I’m sure. Obviously a well loved lady. 💐