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Who was in the wrong here?

(42 Posts)
Vintagejazz Sun 01-May-22 17:16:41

I was in a local cafe earlier with a friend. The cafe has a large downstairs area and a smaller upstairs area which is adults only. I would normally sit there I admit because it's quiet and peaceful.

Today a family trooped up with 3 children aged about 2-6. The manager insisted they sit downstairs despite the couple arguing there was a nicer view upstairs and they were paying customers.

My friend thought she was being a dragon, I thought the couple were unfair as it was clearly signed that upstairs was over 18 only.

Wondering what other gnetters think?

Elizabeth27 Sun 01-May-22 17:19:55

I would side with the manager, too many people think rules do not apply to them.

Blinko Sun 01-May-22 17:20:05

I’m with you on this one. The proprietor surely has a right to configure their services however they see fit.

hulahoop Sun 01-May-22 17:22:17

I ,mwith you it's nice to have somewhere quiet to sit .I think it's a well thought idea by the cafe owner.

Chestnut Sun 01-May-22 17:23:19

Rules is rules! If a premises says so then so be it. Just like women breast feeding in a swimming pool. The pool should simply have a rule - no eating or drinking in the pool area. You can't argue that infants are except as this applies to everyone.

Pepper59 Sun 01-May-22 17:23:57

The manager has the right to refuse entry and does not need to give a reason, although, in this case, the rules were stated clearly.

Sara1954 Sun 01-May-22 17:24:01

I’m with the cafe owner

poshpaws Sun 01-May-22 17:39:58

The family with the children were totally out of order.

(Legally the cafe isn't even obliged to accept their custom, just as shops aren't obliged to sell to you.)

If a sign says a rule applies, then the rule bloomin' well applies - people (like me) with dogs wouldn't dream of taking them into a cafe/shop/bar etc., that said "No Dogs Allowed"

Personally even though there are individual children whom I like, I generally loathe being in close contact with children: they're usually noisy, disruptive, often smelly and sticky, and it's more and more common for their parent/s to be glued to their mobile and ignoring them instead of teaching them how to behave in public settings.

An over 18 only area would be a haven for me, and I'd take very ill out with entitled ass*oles like the family you encountered.

(Rant over!) grin

FarNorth Sun 01-May-22 17:39:59

Another one here agreeing with the cafe manager.

Baggs Sun 01-May-22 17:46:03

It could be an H&S rule. Kids are more likely to cause problems for cafe staff on the stairs, or even to fall down them. Perhaps the management should include something about that in their notice.

What happened? Did the family go downstairs?

Vintagejazz Sun 01-May-22 17:48:50

Yes they want back down, looking very disgruntled.

Audi10 Sun 01-May-22 17:50:41

I’m agreeing with the cafe manager

Jaxjacky Sun 01-May-22 17:50:50

Yes, I agree with the manager, well done to them for enforcing it.

Aveline Sun 01-May-22 17:52:40

It may be a rule because the space is too small to accommodate pushchairs and high chairs and possible unruly children running about. My DSs restaurant is over 18s only for exactly that reason

Sara1954 Sun 01-May-22 17:57:29

My grandchildren are noisy, messy, and disruptive, I love them dearly but even I don’t like eating out with them.

lemsip Sun 01-May-22 18:00:20

the My opinion is that the family should stay downstairs. The management make the rules and if customers don't like it they should leave!

Vintagejazz Sun 01-May-22 18:00:53

I'm glad people agree with me. I actually find it frustrating the amount of people who seem to think the rules don't apply to them.
There's a park near me with a walled garden and it states clearly that dogs cannot be brought in there. But that doesn't seem to apply to some dog owners.

The quiet carriage rule doesn't apply to some passengers.

The 'no right turn' sign doesn't apply to some drivers, and everyone just has to wait behind them.

I could go on.

Granmarderby10 Sun 01-May-22 18:04:12

poshpaws sticky, noisy, disruptive, yes ….but often smelly? Perhaps babies in nappies but not older surely

BlueSky Sun 01-May-22 18:20:19

I would have left if that was the rule and we preferred sitting upstairs.

Calendargirl Sun 01-May-22 18:26:00

Agree with the manager.

Charleygirl5 Sun 01-May-22 18:29:41

The manager every time.

I was out for lunch today and the 2 year old at the next table although quiet himself, gave a drummer boy a run for his money using cutlery and the table. The parents did not blink an eye although in fairness the man attended to his dietary needs and thankfully the child needed two hands to stuff food in his mouth.

Dickens Sun 01-May-22 19:00:19


I would have left if that was the rule and we preferred sitting upstairs.

... that's your choice.

The manager clearly stated his.

Sometimes adults want to sit quietly over a coffee - and frankly, it can be quite nerve-wracking when youngsters, because they are naturally exuberant, are running around, bumping into tables.

Perhaps if parents had better control of their offspring things might be different, but so many don't.

The management made the rule for a reason - probably having experienced the disruptive behaviour of some kids.

... and some adults might have energetic and noisy kids at home, why shouldn't they be allowed a space to relax for those - possibly rare - moments when they can unwind?

nadateturbe Sun 01-May-22 19:01:31

Agree with manager.

Harris27 Sun 01-May-22 19:07:25

Agree with the manager.

AGAA4 Sun 01-May-22 19:51:33

I agree that the family were moved downstairs. People ignore rules all the time. In our Country Park it clearly states 'dogs must be kept on a lead'. How many are on a lead'? Hardly any. Also cycling not allowed on the pathways. Lots of cyclists on the paths.