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People who give you chapter and verse about people you don't know ow

(146 Posts)
Vintagejazz Thu 12-May-22 07:56:06

I met a few friends for lunch yesterday. We hadn't seen each other for ages and had loads to catch up on. But one person kept trying to hog the conversation, and her talk was all about people we didn't know; her son's best friend's wedding, her neighbour's fancy new car, her sister in law's broken leg. She didn't just mention these things, she wanted to give us chapter and verse. It was brand frustrating. We all kept trying to bring the conversation back to more common ground but she wouldn't give up.

Does anyone else find people like this annoying.

Zoejory Thu 12-May-22 11:33:26

I had a colleague who did this. We were in an office, 6 or 7 of us around the desk and she'd start. And it would go on and on. We'd all sit there politely smiling.

Then one day another colleague turned to her and shouted is there a point to this story?

We all felt quite sorry for her. She looked so crestfallen. But it didn't stop her. Within minutes she was off again. Happy days.

TerriBull Thu 12-May-22 11:47:16

It's very dull! I have a friend who always tells me about everyone she knows, extended family some I know and at one time, during school years, mothers of friends of her daughter. Now that daughter is just the same, she joined us,--crashed our meetup-- uninvited, for lunch on one occasion and went into enormous detail about some of her colleagues. On and on she went a couple of hours later, I wanted to scream, "don't know any of these people, don't give a shiny ^s**t about them either" Unless someone is a raconteur, most aren't, don't bore others about people they've never met, how interested can we be??? Only to be equalled by people who talk about themselves or to make every situation under discussion about them.

notgran Thu 12-May-22 12:01:56

My sister-in-law does this and rabbits on about folk we don't know . She goes into the minutest detail about such trivial matters and makes out the most mundane ordinary events were life changing. Consequently I spend as little time as possible with her. She is a kind hearted soul but has no concept of body language or social skills.

sodapop Thu 12-May-22 12:41:35

We knew someone like this, we made a point of never asking about a journey he made. He would tell us the number of every road he took, even the type of gravel in a layby, very wearing.

Esspee Thu 12-May-22 13:00:26

Sorry but I have no patience when confronted with this type of behaviour.
I tend to cut the conversation short by reminding them that I don’t know the person nor am I interested in their lives.
After a few reminders they eventually get it.
Life is too short to put up with this nonsense.

kircubbin2000 Thu 12-May-22 13:20:20

One of our lunch ladies did this but she made it worse by starting with her morning where hubby made breakfast, I said I was going to lunch, he said, I said, he said he would give me a lift etc. This made the story twice as long and boring.

Vintagejazz Thu 12-May-22 14:22:52

I had a colleague who used to ramble on about her numerous relatives. It wouldn't have been so bad if she just got quickly to the point, but there was loads of ponderous pauses as if she was telling us something deep and meaningful rather than what colour her nephew was painting the bathroom.

jaylucy Sun 15-May-22 11:31:59

I have to wonder if we, in general, are getting more intolerant ?
Has spending time in lock down or isolation made us more selfish about what we want to talk about and the fact that maybe we feel that we aren't getting our say or not being taken notice of ?
This isn't the first post on this subject or a similar one !
Why can we not take a breath, be pleased about what our friends are telling us about their lives - even if we don't know the people that we are talking about, and wait our turn to have our say ? Is that not what friendship is about?

inishowen Sun 15-May-22 11:33:27

I contacted a friend who I hadn't been in touch with since the seventies. I thought we'd have so much to catch up on. Instead she went on and on about her daughter's awful mother in law! She didn't ask a thing about me. After one long phone call I never rang her again.

cathieb Sun 15-May-22 11:34:26

I have a couple of riends like this and find that they really drain my energy, specially in one-to-one situations where I nod and smile and plan my escape!

knspol Sun 15-May-22 11:36:14

My in laws used to do this all the time when DH and I were with them, all about distant relatives/past neighbours/childhood holidays etc but this was done solely to exclude me. At first I used to try to join in conversations by asking questions etc but mostly just ignored so gave up.

LuckyFour Sun 15-May-22 11:37:12

I know someone like this but she talks only about herself. On and on and on, If you try to say something for instance 'oh yes we went there last year it's very nice' I'm not even able to finish the sentence.

jomo Sun 15-May-22 11:41:23

got a S I L so much like this . got so bad cant be bothered to tell her anything or ask about anyone . likes to hog the limelight .

shame as makes not want to bother.

netflixfan Sun 15-May-22 11:44:15

My mother in law!! And most of the people she has to tell you about have a son who is a solicitor/doctor/minor aristocracy. And she really does not know any aristocrats!!!

Brownowl564 Sun 15-May-22 11:44:17

VintageJazz
Maybe organise another catch up without her.

netflixfan Sun 15-May-22 11:45:50

Or they are dying/dead

Oracle53 Sun 15-May-22 11:45:56

My mother is like this and always has been. Last time I phoned her she spoke about herself and her ailments and about people she knows for nearly an hour without stopping - never once enquired how I am. She is a bit deaf and seems to have retreated into her own world as well which seems to make it worse. She especially loves hogging the lime light in group discussions which can be so frustrating, partly it seems as she finds it hard to hear what others are saying.

Marydoll Sun 15-May-22 11:47:48

Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. 😚😂

Davida1968 Sun 15-May-22 11:50:20

Life's too short; I avoid people like this unless they're family members!

JdotJ Sun 15-May-22 11:53:45

Gosh yes, I can immediately think of two friends (who don't know each other) both very highly strung and both have 'verbal diarrhoea' (as my dear late dad would have said).
Both lovely people who would do anything for you but with both of them I cone away from seeing them feeling like I've gone 10 rounds with Tyson. They are exhausting company. To be seen infrequently. But we're all different, I'm sure they think things about me.
Such as 'she doesn't talk much'🤣

Serendipity22 Sun 15-May-22 11:55:50

Ohhh yes, annoying. I have a husband who rattles on and on AND ON, I say "Just get to the point."

When I was at work, myself and a few carers used to meet for our break in a cafe, there we were, sat round a table when 1 particular work colleague would occupy our ¾ hr break, myself and my friend used to tap ( kick ) each other under the table, 1 time the tap on my shin almost had me choking on my coffee, the whole scenario was funny yes but also down right rude of our work colleague to think we all wanted to hear from thread to needle!
confused

Juicylucy Sun 15-May-22 11:56:23

If it was me I wouldn’t be inviting her next time, either that, or just mention it to her tell her your not really interested in the life’s of people you don’t know you’ve come to catch up with friends life’s not strangers.

Froggyspawn Sun 15-May-22 11:59:47

jaylucy

I have to wonder if we, in general, are getting more intolerant ?
Has spending time in lock down or isolation made us more selfish about what we want to talk about and the fact that maybe we feel that we aren't getting our say or not being taken notice of ?
This isn't the first post on this subject or a similar one !
Why can we not take a breath, be pleased about what our friends are telling us about their lives - even if we don't know the people that we are talking about, and wait our turn to have our say ? Is that not what friendship is about?

Yes, this! People talk about what they are interested in,some people are interested in other people,whether they know them or not . Don’t we sometimes just listen to what the people we care about are telling us,whether it personally interests us or not,because they are important to us?
I suppose not if it is a random coworker, but even then I’d choose it over some topics I listen to to be sociable!
( I’m interested in the lives of characters in books,who don’t even exist, so arguably real unknown people win there...)

Philippa111 Sun 15-May-22 12:00:28

Many people here seem to be much more tolerant than I. If someone tries to show me too many photos of 'darling people' I don't know, I just say thanks after the first few and my body language lets them know I've seen enough.Sometimes I need to be bit assertive and look after myself. I notice with these people if I did bring my phone out to show my darling ones, they give a cursory glance before rushing back to their own stuff.

Generally with 'news' of people I have never met and am not likely to meet,I change the subject fairly soon. Luckily I don't have friends who do much of this.

Having said that, if someone is a good story teller it can be amusing and interesting and if there is good descriptive narrative , anecdotes and a bit of humour then the characters come alive.

The occasional person at the bus stop can just need to talk. I'm not completely heartless and if I can see the person is lonely and needs a listening ear I bring the conversation back to them by asking questions...'how did they cope with covid, how is their health etc. If they mention a hip op I ask how did it go, how was the healing process, how are they now etc. It's then interesting and personal as opposed to just boring. I understand that, usually, nothing of me will come in to the conversation. I consider it my good deed for the day.

Philippa111 Sun 15-May-22 12:03:14

Serendipity22 You made me laugh... 'Just get to the point'. Loved that and also I've never heard the expression 'from needle to thread'... great!