Would you ever go to the cinema/ theatre on your own?

Why shame? there is not shame in going anywhere by yourself and, to put it bluntly, no one will be looking at you or be remotely interested in you. There is no dress code or secret language or custom.

Yes, I went to the matinee of Downton Abbey at our local Arts Centre cinema yesterday afternoon on my own as DH had no interest. I often used to book matinee tickets before lockdown if there was a film I wanted to see.

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest going anywhere on my own.

In all instances, I don't need someone there with me in order to enjoy myself, but there again if I was with a friend it would be equally enjoyable....

To say you feel shame is is very sad. There is no shame in being alone. On the contrary, doing things alone shows strength and independence. If you mean shyness because you anticipate or fear being the only person not with someone, don't be. Arrive, go the bar, get a drink, sit down at a table and chances are you will get into conversation with someone. Take your seat in the auditorium and enjoy the show.

Why do people think other people have the slightest interest in what they're doing?

I go to the cinema or theatre with or without people I can go to a cafe on my own. I have eaten on my own in a restaurant but don’t enjoy that so much as I normally eat out for the socialising the only thing I wouldn’t do is go into a pub but then I ve never been a pub person anyway

I was wondering where my post had gone I must have answered on the other thread

Yes, I’m very happy to do things on my own. I’ve gone to see a few films alone that DH didn’t fancy. There’s a local arts festival on soon and we’re booked into different talks on a couple of days - his more geared towards sport and music, mine to literature and history. We’ll meet up before and after for drinks and curries, though I’d be comfortable eating and drinking alone if he wasn’t around. Nobody’s going to be looking at you or wondering why you’re alone - they’re far too busy with their own lives.

I normally go to the theatre or cinema with either a friend or DD because we've always done it. Cafes and restaurants I often visit on my own. I always have done since I first started work and used to go to the local Chinese for lunch (3 dishes for 4/6!)

Of course! I’ve always done things on my own, as an only child, when I was married first time round and husband wasn’t interested, now I’m older including travelling long haul as DH not able to.

Quite happy to do most things alone as DH works odd hours. Since Covid, haven’t done anything, but time to get out and about. Even a pub isn’t daunting once you take a deep breath and sit down. Prefer girlie lunches and couples holidays I have to say but being alone is fine. Rarely use a book. Like to people watch or even chat. Think Jane Macdonald. I know she has the film crew.

Yes, if I really want to see something I just go. Cinema in the afternoon as well as for the morning seniors’ showings but not in the evening except for streamed ballet. Theatre including evening performances. My main misgivings are about getting home on public transport.

I went alone one afternoon to the cinema , a strange experience indeed as I was literally alone !! The only person watching the film - very eerie. Not an experience I wanted to repeat . This was pre pandemic so perhaps now it's not such a bad idea!!!

I actually prefer to go to the cinema, theatre or opera on my own. This way I am not worried if the other person is having a nice time or enjoying the event.

My husband never really enjoyed going to the opera exhibitions etc and would somewhat reluctantly occasionally go with me but I knew he wasn’t keen so I found it was more enjoyable to go by myself as then I was not worried about him being bored. The alternative would have been to hardly go out at all and miss doing things I alone enjoyed - what a waste.

I am now, sadly on my own, I do not find it difficult to go anywhere on my own at all. I go on holiday alone and can do as I want and not have to be worried or concerned that someone else might not be having a good time.

I must say I am a very hospitable person and I know friends would love to go with me but I prefer to go it alone. This way I can do and see what I want to do.

After fifty three years of caring for my husband, a large family and very busy job I can now do as I please and enjoy myself.

I am puzzled why anyone could ever think twice about doing anything on their own. We are not a country like Afghanistan where a woman on her own is banned or frowned upon.

As we grow up we feel proud and excited when we first walk to school on our own. Someone who needed someone with them when they went to or from work, or who wouldn't ever leave the house alone would be thought odd, or would be mentally ill. Did no one ever run errands for their Mum as a child? Would you go to the library on your own? I cannot see how any of that differs from going to the cinema or into a cafe or restaurant.

At what age does this reticence about doing normal everyday things alone set in and why?

Sara1954

I have never done it , and I don’t think I could.
Sometimes my husband would like to see a film that I don’t, and would be happy to go alone, but I won’t let him. I’d be feeling sorry for him all alone.

I find this strange

Riverwalk
Really?
Each to his own I suppose
I admire you all, but I just wouldn’t feel comfortable.

The Little Mermaid for Ash.

Sorry, posted picture on wrong page!

I was really referring to you not letting your husband go alone as you'd feel sorry for him.

As you say, each to his own if you don't want to go alone, but your husband does!

I know, he thinks I’m a bit crazy, but I’d feel sad for him among all those couples, eating a solitary ice cream.

I have done things on my own all my life, am not worried and don't care what other people think.

I often go to the cinema or theatre on my own, will go to the pub on my own, and eat out on my own. I have just booked to see the new Topgun film on my own, and will sit back and enjoy it with a large glass of wine! Since DH died I have also done holidays on my own, and river and sea cruises.

I have two more cruises booked, and also a long haul holiday. I prefer holidays on my own as I can please myself what I do, and not worry about anyone else.

M0nica It’s interesting that you mention running errands and visiting the library alone because those are the very things I did as a primary school-age child for my working mother. I would get the shopping and then leave the bags with the council concierge who guarded the roped steps which lead up to the children’s library. I had siblings but have always enjoyed doing things on my own.

Me too Riverwalk I go to the cinema a lot. Plenty of women there in the daytime, many alone but few men even for films that one might think had a masculine appeal. Is this why? Are some not allowed out on their own?

A word of warning for married women who won’t do things alone. If your husband dies before you it may prove much much harder to adapt to life on your own. It's hard enough - I know only too well - but being already used to doing things alone may ease the transition.

Since my lovely husband passed away nearly 6 years ago, if I had to rely on people I would never do anything ... yes first time doing things & going to places on my own quite daunting, although, after first time gets easier. I have been on the bus, train, theatre, cinema, cafes to different places ... first time I went to the cinema I was a bit unsure what I had to do, I spoke to a lady & friends ever since ... may I add only see her occasionally ... I would say to you ... go for it ... I did ... do I have any regrets ... no I don't ... remember if you rely on people you will never ever do anything ... many people go to places on their own ... only thing I would say is if you do go to the cinema/theatre go of an afternoon, as personally lighter during the day, I would not go of an evening unless with someone else ... next time you post ... hope its to say ... I'VE DONE IT ... also will say this to others ... GO FOR IT ... nothing to loose but everthing to gain

It wasn’t until lockdown that I decided that going for a walk on my own was alright, because everyone was doing it.
I admit I quite enjoy it now, I have a dear friend who regularly takes herself off to NT properties at the weekend, if I ask her if she wants some company, she says no thanks, why would she?

Each to their own and who are we to judge, but it’s sad to miss out because of misplaced embarrassment or awkwardness. Like some others, I actively enjoy going to the cinema alone where I only need to worry about myself. I too went to Downton alone this week. Others might well have pointed out it was a nonsensical piece of fluff but I was very pleased to go.

My husband likes theatre but hates musicals, which I love. I do have various friends I go with but sometimes I end up going alone rather than miss it. Quite often, one ends up chatting to others in the interval and I’ve had some interesting conversations with other aficionados, not least at a performance of Fiddler in the Roof with someone from the original production with Topol.

Despite my opening sentence, I can’t help but wonder what we would say about a husband refusing to allow his wife to see something she would enjoy, because he would feel sorry for her!