People who won’t tell you what they want and expect you to guess

Honeysuckleberries

I think it is sometimes a test to find out a) how well do you know me? B) how much am I worth? C) how much effort have you put in.
My mother in law was an expert in this. She’d always say in a pitiful voice that she didn’t expect anything, but woe betide you if you didn’t come up to her expectations. I think she enjoyed bitching about each of her five daughter in laws to the others. She got more enjoyment out of the slagging off than any present she got.

I had a girlfriend like this. So high maintenance. I really feel for her DILs

The presents found at the back of cupboards might be there because the recipient thought they were too good to use just for them. Then they would be put in the safe place. If their memories were anything like mine it then becomes 'out of sight out of mind'. Quite the opposite of not appreciating them they would have been really appreciated when received but once put away for safekeeping 'the mental filing system' is in charge and often has less capacity as the years go by.

I do find it irritating when someone says, ‘Whatever you’re having,’ when asked whether they’d like tea or coffee. I know they think it’s helpful but I wish they’d just say what they’d prefer!

My mother would sometimes fail to be assertive about whatever she wanted, but afterwards complain that, ‘Daddy made me…’ have/do this or that.

He would never have ‘made’ her have or do anything, but would have made a decision after a lot of exasperating dithering or ‘I don’t know…’

My husband can’t say yes or no. So conversations go as follows.
Me,” would you like a cup of tea.”
DH “ Are you having one”
Me “ So do you want one”
DH “ I could have one if you feel like making one”
A conversation like this could go on for hours. It’s bloody infuriating.

My Mother in law was considered an angel by most, she was pretty willung to go along with anything. But I found it was very hard to please her, if Inever knew what she really wanted (e.g. for dinner choice). Too wishywashy.
Now my adult kids have Amazon wish lists and want mine too. I would rather be surprised and not, in effect, have to do my own shopping. Im glad to get an idea of what they want but it doesn't feel quite right. Especially if a list just has expensive little tools that i know will be seldom used. Oh well...

Husband is and his parents were like this. I always put a lot of thought into gifts but the in laws would tell you that they've already got 6 of what you bought them, still in a drawer. Husband hints, I don't catch hints, then invariably complains about the gift, whether it's what he really wanted or not. It's a no win situation.