Virtual cruise Lyon to Avignon and Arles

French 101 ixion. The next thing we learnt once we'd located auntie's pen; whether the doors and windows were open or closed in a hotel room with a bath - or a shower if you were modern. One of my favourite comedy skits is Eddie Izzard talking about the monkey on the branch - le singe et sur la branche and how to squeeze that into general conversation. It'll be on YT somewhere.

French 101 ixion

Ah, sorry.
Never progressed further than soixante neuf (but not complaining ?)

Two of us lowering the tone.

Chef! I'm reading the blog of some travellers who visited Viviers and they posted this picture of dangly bits. I might just stick to the wine.

I’ve heard you’re all at sea without a captain so I’ve come alongside with a pilot. At least he said he said he was a pilot….his name is Maverick I think. Seemed a bit surprised to see a cruise ship though.
I hope there’s some decent food being made in the galley ixion no frogs legs for me please. Las time I had some I had a strong urge to jump overboard.

An evening with us Doodle and you won't need the frogs legs☹️

Welcome!

Is his name Pete or Tom by any chance Doodle? Might he be a bit fast for us, likely to overshoot the runway as it were? I think Meryl was up for some helming. Meryl & Maverick? Maverick & Meryl? Sounds like a 1980s cop duo.

Mindful of your visiting speaker at 18.00, CS, he appears to have come aboard. Well, there's a chappie here with a beret and stripey top (no bicycle or ?s ?) with a leaking sack of cement and some lumps of concrete in his rucksack.

I have, therefore, arranged for an 'at seat' meal tonight in the media room.

* Poussin en corbeille
* Frites triple-cooked
(Note to self - get that oven fixed AND remember to get the oil hot enough first time round in future)
➡️
* Mivvi framboise or -
* Le quatre-vingt-dix-neuf avec flocon chocolat et coulis rouge.

Enjoy.
Regrettably, I have a rendezvous commitment myself, requiring a ship to shore trip ?

Bonsoir! Back from Blighty, having reserved a wonderful German shepherd chienne, to be collected after the cruise has ended. I am mortified that I referred to her as a chien. My French is tres rusty. She seems very forgiving ...

Despite having lunch out, am dying to sample tonight's offerings. Greedy, moi?

Let me know when it's my turn at the helm, preferably timed to coincide with the lecture on cement ...

You rotten lot. Philistines! There’s Maw over there drinking negronis with Tucci and GSM finishing off ixion’s Mivvi Framboise like le chat who got la chienne while poor Claude Le Ciment talked to an empty room. Oddly, he seemed used to it; with a Gallic shrug has disappeared back to Viviers in le taxi driven by his pal Joe.

With no irony at all, here's my photo of Marianne de Viviers wearing a wreath of wheat to symbolise the greater wisdom of women. Ha! Not about le ciment they are not!

Any quatre-vingt-dix-neuf avec flocon chocolat left?

quatre-vingt-dix-neuf avec flocon chocolat left?

Sorry, I ate them all.
Why do you think I'm hanging over the rail?

It was delicieux!

Delicieuse? Told you my French was in peut rusty. CBA to look it up, too stuffed!?

Germanshepherdsmum

Delicieuse? Told you my French was in peut rusty. CBA to look it up, too stuffed!?

It's GIY (Google it yourself) these days, GSM

GSM so pleased for you. Can we have a photo when you get her?
Er Tom I think Caravan . Not sure he’s up to this steering business he keeps asking where the runway is. Be better off with Meryl I think.
ixion not being able to comprehendo the Français I have no idea what’s for dinner tonight but I’ll have some of the stuff that contains the word chocolate. Ooh I haven’t had a Mivvi for years. I used to love those. Not sure about the Poussin though, is that short for Poussinboots ? as for the frites, I’ve had enough frits recently, no more shocks please.
Is there any entertainment on board?

Psst Doodle
Nip down to the galley, 3rd fridge on the right.
There's a whole secret stash for you.

Mr.Whippy will be here later?

???????. Oooh luverly. Thank you ixion

Is Mr Whippy the one who works in the sex club in the High Street?

?
Certainly NOT.
This is a Cultural Cruise
You want that sort of sleaze entertainment, you go to the Argy, OK?

I’d love a Mr Whippy. ?. Sod the kulcher.

oops sorry ixion . I forgot where I was for the moment……..I take it that means there’s no strippers either. ?

You haven’t got that May Hem in tow have you Doodle? If so you can say goodbye to Tom/Pete.?

Indeed it is a culture cruise but sadly our bid for Nadine Dorries as our onboard replacement for Secretary for Culture has been declined. She’s far too busy watching Netflix. And so I plough on as acting SoC undeterred by my failure to grab your attention with this evening’s lecture on cement.

Ah hem.Tomorrow we shall be arriving for the first time in Avignon. You thought it was all about ponts and popes and Châteauneuf-du-Pape? Au contraire mes amis. The city is also the headquarters of the International Association of the Mediterranean tomato, the World Council of the tomato industry. Stop yawning at the back!

In response to Doodle’s request for strippers - I have managed to find you one. His name is Phillipe le Peint (ami of Claude le Ciment) and his special subject is turpentine. He can also talk about paint drying should you wish. As before, orderly queue for a 18:00 start.

Oh ? thank you Caravan…. I’m sure he’ll be very entertaining. ?
Looking forward to Avignon tomorrow. Will we be venturing into Any vineyards …….she says, ever hopeful.

Definitely Doodle. I thought that Châteauneuf-du-Pape was always red but I read that it can be white or even rosé. Eighteen different grape varieties can be used and blended but Grenache noir is the one used the most followed by Syrah. We need one or some that will go with all those tomatoes.

Gosh I’ve missed a lot of larks and even shenanigans today while I have been being ever so kulchered at a concert performance of Parsifal by Opera North in Nottingham.
A group of us went in a minibus with a driver who was useless about finding the way so we all got our phones out with Google maps/Satnav. and he was not at all amused.
I didn’t even know I liked Wagner but had made a resolution to say Yes to suggested outings, regardless, and I absolutely loved it!
Just got in but wanted to say Bonne Nuit to the ships company and will catch up properly demain ?

On the way to Avignon, can we possibly do a stop off at Orange svp?