Virtual cruise Lyon to Avignon and Arles

In a packed Avignon programme today: world-beating tomatoes, too many popes to shake a stick at, bridges that go nowhere, wine that sticks to your tonsils and turpentine stripping … and, stop the press, A Roman Orange, it’s hard to think this could get any more exciting but if can! If you were woken today why some mysterious shrieking down the corridor, rest assured it was not the fire alarm but our very own Brünnhilde who had agreed to perform for us this evening. Budget and space constraints do not allow for an orchestra but fear not. Yesterday, a keen-eyed member of our party managed to pick up an old karaoke machine in a Viviers flea market. A scratched label on the side says property of Downing Street but we shan’t let that deter us. Phillipe le Peint will get us in party mood with his talk on paint stripping and then it’s no holds barred as Brünnhilde sings Abba. This is not to be missed. Bring earplugs.

I can hardly wait! Cruise directors could well take advice from GN on entertainment.
A word of warning though. If you visit the famous bridge, make sure you’re on top of it. If too much wine and hot sun confuses you, you might be singing
Sous le pont d'Avignon on s'y cogne, on s'y cogne . . . on s'y cogne sur le front

Caravan Brunhilde looks as though she can belt out a good tune. Looking forward to the vineyard visit ….particularly the tasting bit. Will there be room in the coach for us to bring some bottles back…. ?

She does Doodle. I'm worrying that the reverberations could cause a tidal surge.

So long as Joseanne doesn't want to bring back a Roman amphitheatre as a serving platter, I think there'll be plenty of room.

Ooh, that sounds like a good idea Doodle. Btw, is Brunhilde the - er - well built lady from the Argy who could carry a barrel under each arm? If so maybe we could bring back some casks! ?

Just coming aboard to ask Shep if she doesn’t mind me introducing the newest recruit to the Good Ship.
Also checking with Doodle that there are no llamas stowing away.
There could be a spot of bother , if so… ?

Oh yes Fanny. I’m so thrilled to be able to give her the first proper home she’s had. We need to check for llamas though. She’s not keen on other dogs and might think that’s what they are. And Alarma won’t take kindly to not being the centre of attention!?

Okay. Good thinking Shep
I will hold fire.

I’m sure the llamas aren’t there Fanny, you would have, er, noticed the whiff by now. And Alarma would have been prancing around on deck demanding a swimming pool. ???

Germanshepherdsmum

Ooh, that sounds like a good idea Doodle. Btw, is Brunhilde the - er - well built lady from the Argy who could carry a barrel under each arm? If so maybe we could bring back some casks! ?

That's her! She's planning to limber up by hauling a couple of casks of Chateauneuf back to the Viking Gransnet.

Dual purpose. If Phillipe's lecture turns out to be boring, and there is every chance it will be, we can roll them towards the stage and knock him over like a skittle.

It'll shake the sediment up a bit but that won't matter too much. We know the default position of some of our guests it to lay on the kitchen floor under the tap of a Lidl wine box. They'll be used to a bit of grit in unfamilar places.

How do you know about my default position Caravan? ?Note to self - close kitchen blinds!

How about lobster ravioli?

Oh, YES!!!?

Lobster Ravioli! Mmmmmmm

Will the lobsters come already cooked? You won’t have to boil the things will you Joseanne??. (Yes I know I’m a hypocrite.)

grandtanteJE65

Please DO NOT feed anything to the swans.

It is illegal in France, Belgium and the Netherlands to feed ducks and swans or any other birds you encounter on the canals and rivers.

They have been dying in droves due to unsuitable food.

If I remember correctly the fines are such that you really do not want to have to pay them!

Sorry grandtanteJE65, I didn't mean literally to feed the ducks, but more if the food didn't agree with passengers' digestion and ended up reappearing in the river for the ducks and swans.

Don't worry. The lobsters won't scream because they are already cooked.

Phew! ?

Won't they he awfully long ravioli to fit one all in?

Probably ixion, but Joseanne is so clever I expect she’s making her own pasta and cutting it lobster-size.?

Germanshepherdsmum

Probably ixion, but Joseanne is so clever I expect she’s making her own pasta and cutting it lobster-size.?

Bien sûr.

And lobster-shape I assume?
L’eau me vient à la bouche! (autrement dit, Nom, nom)

It's OK, Joseanne, your secret's safe with me?

PS Are we really coming to an end soon??

It ain’t over till the fat lady sings - and you don’t want to hear me sing!
Of course it’s not over until we say it’s over.

I can continue to be joyful and inclusive til the cows come home.
If you're looking for an inspired polymath, I'm out...