The life-long friend who nonetheless annoys you

I have a friend similar to yours. I have cut down contact and when we do meet I don’t let her dominate the conversation even if this means cutting in and changing the subject which with anyone else I certainly would not do. I just got fed up with the cutting remarks and the lectures ! I attempt to keep the conversation light and the meetings short but I couldn’t cut her out altogether.

Thanks to all of you for sharing. As I read your comments, I began to see more clearly that the issue for me is that I’ve changed - mostly due to my life circumstances- but she hasn’t. So her MO is always the same - constant self—absorption re how she feels, strong emotional reactions to everything, emotional lability, high drama, etc. - and I guess I’m just tired of it. It’s not all been one-sided as she certainly has listened over the years to my issues, but I realize that she’s draining. My poor late DH used to get caught by her on the phone during her episodes of “anxiety” if I wasn’t home to talk her through it. Believe me, I don’t disparage anxiety disorders - DS has one. But he gets treatment. DH used to talk about how many of her sentences begin with “I.” When I was younger the creative and dramatic aspects of her personality were interesting - and different from me - but now it’s just old. As some of you noted, I don’t feel I can just drop her but keeping her more removed is what I need to do. She’ll never know that leaving her was one of the reasons (there were many) that I embraced moving so far away.

I can sympathise with Nanamar,
as only children whose ties with the past are limited, we don't want to sever old friendships. However the friendship seems very one-sided if she is unkind and selfish. I would keep a healthy distance and perhaps cultivate new friendships elsewhere; sometimes new friends can be kinder and friendlier than people we have known for a long time.