My husband

An extra five people in your home must render it hugely overcrowded; has your daughter contacted Social Services to get a place of her own?

That aside, I do think that your husband is expecting a lot when he wants young children to play to play quietly.

How long has this been going on, who's idea was it to have them stay, does your daughter got out to work?

PollyDolly

An extra five people in your home must render it hugely overcrowded; has your daughter contacted Social Services to get a place of her own?

That aside, I do think that your husband is expecting a lot when he wants young children to play to play quietly.

How long has this been going on, who's idea was it to have them stay, does your daughter got out to work?

She actually needs the Local Housing Authority. Although they cannot hand out social housing, they can help get private accommodation and help out with deposits for those in need.

Judy A1026
It seems to me that you are overcrowded which is not good for you and your DH, Your DD and your DHC. If this is the case perhaps your daughter should visit the Housing Dept at your local council, they should be able to help her find alternative accommodation or at least put her on a waiting list. She does need to stress that the situation is untenable though. However, firstly, I suggest that she pays a visit to your local Citizens Advice, or if she doesn’t want to, you could go as they would certainly advise of of options. Good luck

Local authority? They will do nothing, because she is NOT technically homeless - she's sitting pretty with Mum and Dad! Also, there have been some rather glib comments about renting, getting her own place etc. but that is horrendously expensive, now. Haven't you heard there is a housing crisis? Really sympathise with both sides, and agree with those who suggest talking about it and trying to find a solution, or at least some way to alleviate things. Good luck!

It depends of you are happy with them being there?

Does the home belong to you?

The tone of your OP seems to be that, you feel you have a partner problem and not a daughter and grandchildren problem.

So the question really is, do you want this long term relationship with him?

Undines
I agree, we agreed to take no money from our daughter So that she could save for a deposit, she earns a good salary, but she’s nowhere near it.

Pack his bags for him! What a lucky lucky man to have 4 beautiful grandchildren to enjoy and build amazing relationships with.

I love my GC to bits, but I would find this stressful.

To go from 2 to 7 is alot and as we get older, especially men, we need our peace and quiet. Can your daughter not find a place of her own, is she working and does ex pay towards the children. It is harder to adjust to new things and the noise of children day in day out does get annoying. I'm sorry I too would find being in the middle of this mess hard. Your husband needs boundaries from your daughters family and he needs to know when they will be moving on. I bet you asked your husband and if he's any thing like my husband he would have agreed because he loves you. It also sounds like you do some of the care giving and that is taking your time away from him. Are you able to help with a deposit on a rented property for your daughter and can her exs family not help?
Good luck as it sounds like things are not going to get better until things are sorted. Not a good environment for the GC.

Several people have mentioned the council and social services but I think the OP is American since she referred to her yard not garden?

jenpax not necessarily American, lots of people in the UK have backyards, especially those, like me, living in terraced houses.
JudyA1026 there do need to be ground rules which everyone should agree to. It can be very difficult when so many move in, I've done it, my daughter, her 4 young children and family dog moved into my small terraced house. I loved having them here but there were times when I really wished I could come home from work and just relax on my own. My husband had died a few years previously so I didn't have any problems or arguments.
They finally moved out about a year later, when she moved into a council property, we were classed a overcrowded which moved her up the list.

undines

Local authority? They will do nothing, because she is NOT technically homeless - she's sitting pretty with Mum and Dad! Also, there have been some rather glib comments about renting, getting her own place etc. but that is horrendously expensive, now. Haven't you heard there is a housing crisis? Really sympathise with both sides, and agree with those who suggest talking about it and trying to find a solution, or at least some way to alleviate things. Good luck!

If Mum and Dad are not prepared to offer a home, she is homeless. I was in her position once, as was my SIL and that is what we were told. As for renting, we do not know her situation regarding money but she might well be able to claim benefits. The LHA will give advice.
When I left my mother's house, we had 5 kids in a one bed flat...having our own space albeit very cramped was much better than trying to live with parents!

Pack a suitcase for the miserable old boot.

Well how lovely that he agreed to it. But sadly it seems that not enough thought went into this decision, … give him a cuddle & talk about rules & regulations & private times & personal space to help you All .best wishes

did your daughter leave the marital home (presumably there was one) Why would anyone with four children/ babies youngest being two !! Walk away making them all homeless !?Doesn’t make sense if it doesn’t make sense somethings not right do you think your getting the whole story
Or just the bits someone wants you to hear Take care

Why is the children’s father not supporting accommodation for them?

Just like to say that person with children cannot just keep the house anymore like years ago. Other parent can force the sale as my friend found out sadly. Also if renting one parent may not be able to afford bills and rent. I think your DD should get on housing list and you will have to give her written notice to leave. Then they will put her and children in temporary accommodation and eventually a flat or house.

BooHoo

did your daughter leave the marital home (presumably there was one) Why would anyone with four children/ babies youngest being two !! Walk away making them all homeless !?Doesn’t make sense if it doesn’t make sense somethings not right do you think your getting the whole story
Or just the bits someone wants you to hear Take care

Nobody walks away willingly leaving themselves homeless. There must be reasons the OP doesn't want to go into and it really isn't any of our business.

What should you do?
Help your daughter to get her own place with her children of course

Wow l would have made sure that was a very temporary arrangement. I would hate to live with 4 children now.

Family comes first. You can get another man but not another daughter and gk Let the old grump get used to the idea he will miss you if he moves out

Take your daughter and your 4 grandchildren to the council office and tell them that you having a crisis right now because your DH, your DD’s stepfather is threatening to leave home because of the overcrowding.

In the meantime, you need to create some sort of a man cave for your DH, somewhere he can have some peace and quiet in his own home. One of the reception rooms, garage, basement or shed to stop him from leaving.

I totally disagree *Ethelwashere1. If her daughter is old enough to have four children and a husband then the umbilical cord and the apron strings should have been cut long ago.

Temporary refuge yes, but in the size of house I think this lady is living in, a matter of days rather than weeks.

The daughter's marriage may have broken, but there is no reason why the mother's marriage should be collateral damage.

Family comes first - I agree

Isnt OP's partner also family?