Do you talk to inanimate objects?

I found myself talking to weeds, and telling a potato off for finding the prongs on my potato fork as I dug him up this morning...does that count?

Yes, but its normally to the dog or the TV

When I was teaching and we had our first OFSTED inspection, I was the SENCo with my own little office.

I had put my pencil case next to an open window...it fell out and I needed it for my next lesson. I climbed out of the window (ground floor) and discovered it in a large bush. I was just emerging triumphantly from the greenery telling my pencil case not to be so stupid in fruity language when I realised that an OFSTED inspector was standing there gazing at me.........so embarrassing!

I talk to anything that is electronic. Computer, ipad, phone. strangely enough not the car. The dog is great she listens , never answers back , never complains but keeps me right if I do anything she sees as wrong. I do often tell her that is why I keep her.

I talk to my Granpa. He thinks he’s a clock!

In the late 1950s and early 1960s I used to travel daily from Fife to Edinburgh on the train. The locomotive was usually a beautiful Mallard, which sat beside the platform at Waverley huffing steam after the run, like a live creature. I always patted it and praised it (being careful to avoid the hottest parts near the boiler)

Your post reminds me of my kids and our family car, elegran. 'Diggory' was old and sometimes a little reluctant on a cold morning. Strapped into their seats in the back, if I said something like "Come on, Diggs, old bean", they'd each pat the side they were next to and will him to go. It always worked, apparently ?

"I certainly don't," I thought, on reading the question. On reflexion, though, I realise that I often mutter "Hurry up. Get on with it,"etc when waiting for the washer to finish, or the pan of water to boil. If I mislay something, it's, "Where the hell are you?" And I'm always back-answering the sat-nav, with her bossy, "Make a U-turn!"
I also comment to the tv if something annoys me, especially on programmes like Question Time.
I'm more nutty than I thought I was.

Yep I do it all the time.
I talk to my sewing machine all the time and sometimes shout at it. Also my laptop, the cooker, the iron which likes to spit scale over my clothes, the vacuum cleaner - anything really. I apologise to garden plants when I have to deadhead or prune them, and threaten them if they're not growing well. It's not an age thing I've always done it. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

nanna8

I talk to the cats all the time, no idea what they understand. Probably the tone of voice. I sometimes use miaows to them ( I am a good mimic!) and they definitely respond to that but I am not too good at knowing the meaning of what I am saying. Hope it isn’t obscene !

I once hissed at one of my cats and she gave me a very shocked and disapproving look, so obviously I had transgressed the boundaries of polite cat talk.

In my experience as long as you stick to miaowing you will be safe, as long as you don't sound really angry.

Rude cat talk is carried out in hisses, snarls and yowls as far as I have understood from the 15 or so cats I have had a close friendship with in the course of 70 years.

I regularly shout at ‘Sean’ our Sat Nav. He once took us down the narrowest road I’ve ever been on, the poor car had to breathe in ?

I often thank my car for being there when I have been carrying heavy shopping.
I do talk to dogs and cats too. Sometimes they look me in the eye as if they know what I am saying thinking 'crazy old woman'.

The Brabantia bin bags I used to buy seemed to invite conversation. On the side was printed "Ich bin ein Binliner"

Absolutely. I'll worry when they start talking back.

I have had a bad knee for the last 10 months. It sometimes collapses beneath me causing me to fall. It's very painful about 90% of the time.
I'm always talking to it, sometimes to encourage it to cooperate with me. At other times I just have to swear at it.
I've been referred to a consultant but haven't been given an appointment yet. My doctor says it could be months & months and asked if I could afford to go privately but unfortunately I can't. MyGP thinks that I may need a partial knee op. He's given me morphine patches for the pain but I'm holding back on using them for as long as possible.

I was going to say no I don't then remembered about four hours ago talking to my liquid eyeliner. I had the lid/applicator in my hand but couldn't find the pot or jar it came from. Asking in disbelief "where are you?" Been happening too much lately with my makeup.

Oh yes, my hearing aids keep playing a tune when they need new batteries. I'm usually driving the car and I tell them "I heard you the first time, please stop". Then I've asked the garden to stop growing, as I'm quite happy with how it is. No-one listens to me.

Nell8

The Brabantia bin bags I used to buy seemed to invite conversation. On the side was printed "Ich bin ein Binliner"

An inanimate object with a better SOH than some people I have come across!

Yes. I talk to Henry the Hoover. He’s a friendly fellow with a cheeky face and a very long nose who tends to get stuck round door jams and can’t manage steps. I encourage him to hurry up and do his stuff. It’s a bit of a one sided conversation ?

I was in the greenhouse earlier checking up on the cauliflower and cabbage seedlings. We had a little chat and I noticed most of them had small caterpillars on them so I had a little chat to those too. Does that count as inanimate objects?

all the time, especially at the self checkouts in waitrose, I'm often slow finding my card etc & it asks me to do the next thing I say 'just a minute will you!' & so on till I've finished!

PollyDolly I hope you told the caterpillars on the cabbage and cauliflower seedlings to get lost.

Were they a fetching shade of green? Those cabbage white butterflies have struck again!

I frequently curse at my Roomba vacuum when it 'eats' things it's not supposed to do

I tell myself off when I do stupid things, which is quite often. I would be cross if anyone else spoke to me the way I do!

Not quite the same BUT a few years ago I got home from work . Parked the car and bent down behind the hedge and said to my cat “hello sweetheart, how are you, what you Bin doin all day!” Have you bin a good girl.? (Gobbledegooktalk)

I stood up and looking over the hedge at me were two neighbours. I could have died. ? but I was so embarrassed.

I never did learn my lesson, I still do it.