I know,I said I need to be nicer...

This sounds dreadful. I would be tearful too. It sounds like torture, but the poor woman sounds unwell too. Has she family who could intervene? I do not know what your living circumstances are, but if there is a warden or management company, can they advise you?
I would be clear in telling her not to continually bother you, tell her that you will ask if you need something. Tell her as kindly as you can that her continual attention is making you ill, and that she must stay away. Not sure if that will work. but something must. Would your local social services have any advice?
All the best Miss Adventure. I hope this gets solved.

You must have the patience of a saint! I would certainly try not to be nasty with someone like this but, me being me, eventually I would snap and tell her to go forth and multiply and stay away from my home. I am a firm believer in personal space and not letting others invade it beyond what you are prepared to tolerate. Hope you manage to reduce her visits - it must be so mentally draining to have to deal with someone like that.

I'd pop a sign up, DO NOT DISTURB - I'VE HAD 6 VISITORS TODAY AND AM VERY TIRED.

You could change the number as appropriate...when she asks who they were you could say...Well you, at 8am, 9.30, 10,15 etc...It might shock her enough to keep a tally herself perhaps?

Good luck, look on Facebook or local selling sites for a staircase, so are very difficult to work...but make sure you can open it ?

I actually think she would be quite kind, thinking that I must need to talk.
(Not that I'd get a word in!)
She does collect people to take under her wing.

What would happen if you go to her house and do exactly what she does, only for a couple of days or so?

I really feel for you. I had a neighbour like that some years ago. I used to say either she moves or I do. Luckily she moved.
I realise now, please or offend that I should have been more assertive.
For your own mental health you've got to be firm with her. If she falls out with you that's fine. That's exactly what you want.
Could you change your phone number? Then when she rings your old number and she says she can't get through just say to her you don't know why. Other people seem to get through.
People will treat you the way you allow them to.
Good luck.

Tears running down my face laughing. Would be rolf but probably would be dark before I could get back up. I'm away now to water.

I'm sitting where the bereaved can see me, in case they decide to rehome a watering can.

Oh that's a shame about the not reading as it might have saved you the problem of how to broach the matter with her. Maybe she is away shopping for a new watering can. Sorry but I've got lots of funny visions in my mind now that have become slightly intertwined along with " Home Alone" type antics that Kevin employed to keep the baddies out! I think I will go and get some fresh air and water my plants but out of respect will use the spray on the hose rather than my watering can.

She doesn't read well at all, not from the stroke.
She tells me she was always "thick".
I'm on my back doorstep, all defiant and full of pep, and have just realised she is out.
Bliss!

Sorry I'm full of typos today -might be on this forum and might not be a bad thing

Just a thought - is there any chance she might me on this forum, reading this thread? Might not be a bad thing.

I wonder you haven't gone completely mad - and also how you can rock up on here with a sense of humour from time to time. I salute you! Quite seriously your neighbour sounds like unmitigated hell, and from your fragmented posts today detailing what she does - you have described it as 'opening the flood gates' but it sounds like a strong dose of 'end of tether' to me - and I would certainly employ some of the excellent suggestions made here by other posters. I like the note on the door about the medically advised VERY long nap each afternoon. You have my heartfelt sympathy - although fat lot of good that is. I wish you luck. x

It is like stalking, I think.
She has no self awareness, though.

She would do it when I had been to the hospital with my girl for awful, terrible appointments. I feel bad for saying "she", but am trying to preserve some anonymity, at least. so gransnet thoughtfully put it in the daily email

You absolutely should not have to put up with it, Mads

I am going to deal with this, one way or another.

Go for it, and remember, honesty is the best approach.

Would all this pestering count as stalking or something similar? As a last resort there's always the police.

Actually, second to last resort might be to tell her you feel pestered and find her constant interruptions of your life distressing. Tell her to leave you alone or you'll have to call the police to get a restraining order.

I would do that if driven to it as I think you are being. Her persistence strikes me as very like stalking.

That is the bare bones of it.
I do find it exhausting, even though some visits are only 10 minutes or so.

Then it just infuriates me even more!

All the banging and shouting and phoning for a 10 minute catch up!

I am going to deal with this, one way or another.

I believe in being nice to people but I think I would have to sort this out. I would have done it long ago, for the sake of my health.
Tell her you don't have the energy for chatting these days, you can't cope with so many visits and need time alone and when she comes, tell her you don't want to talk. Tell her you will have coffee once a week for a couple of hours and that's all you can manage.
You're going to have to be brave and just do it.
She will most likely be hurt/offended. But you can be nice to her and more interested if you meet less often at a prearranged time.
If she continues to come just tell her no, she can't come in and keep doing it.
I wish you good luck. It's an awful situation.

Like this?

You know those two-sided signs on a piece of string that small shops in the door ...

I know it's hard to ignore the door and someone calling you . So if I was you I'd buy some headphones and try to listen to music or audio books. Then you can say honestly " sorry I didn't hear you , someone suggested this as relief from stress " then lock your door and relax . Eventually( hopefully) she will take the hint . But it will give you a break .

Hi MissAdventure ,

I've just reread your posts .
I'd skimmed through them when I wrote my last post .
I now see what an intolerable position you are in .
I don't know what to suggest .
I just want to say how sorry I feel for you .

I could escape to my father's house (exchanging one lot of craziness for another ) and used to go on endless trips .

Wishing you good luck and hoping for a happy outcome .

Several spring to mind.

I’m in a very similar situation too MissA
It’s not easy is it.

It’s a shame we can’t get a straight talking GN er to speak to her…?
Who do you think would do the best job?