No Help Moving

Moving is one if the most stressful situations we face.

Well done, now relax and enjoy.

Well done you! You’ve achieved a big event single handed. I’d prefer the company of a Spaniel to some of my relatives. I hope you gave him/ her a special treat.
Enjoy your new home.

j52 I agree My Spaniel has been my saviour and constant.

I'm so happy being at my bolthole. A friend, who lives on my block here, has just popped in to see if I'm coming to bridge tomorrow. I've managed to set up my computer & TV via WiFi and I pat myself on the back for being so strong, appreciated by those that care and independent.

So.pleased I left the neighbour grumps behind.

Im glad to hear that your friend supported you throughout the day. However our friends are people we choose so its upto us to choose wisely. As for neighbours well they are just random people who happen to live next door and we are more or less stuck with them. Thats why I never become involved with neighbours.

You had a rotten day yesterday LinFreed, moving house is exhausting and emotional anyway but especially so when you've been there a long time. Forget the ex neighbours; they're no loss. But try to get on friendly terms with your new ones. How about having a bit of a house warming and inviting them in for coffee. I knew no one when I moved here 3 years ago, absolutely no one. So, at Christmas, I put a post it note on Christmas cards inviting a few nearby neighbours in for a drink on a specific evening. I was dreading no one turning up! But everyone came, brought a bottle with them, and some even brought neighbours they thought I'd like to meet. I had a full house of new friends and neighbours, some of whom hadn't socialised with each other in all the time they'd lived here. It was definitely a leap in the dark but very sucessful in getting to know new neighbours. Good luck in your new home.

Great idea Chewbacca and brave too. So glad it all worked out so well. Most people are nice and friendly given the opportunity. Our nieghbours area very interesting and pleasant bunch. We quite often all get together in the garden of our flats. All so different but with lots of varied life experience to share.

Glad that worked out well for you Chewbacca it must have been an anxious time, waiting to see if anyone would turn up and how lovely that some you invited, brought others along too.

As has already been mentioned a neighbour is very very rarely a close friend. They move and you then form a hopefully untroubled relationship with the new neighbours. when neighbours have moved or I have moved I have never expected or even hinted I needed their help and will have said goodbye in some way but never kept in touch with them after they or I have moved. I think because of your memories of the house with your husband you are understandably feeling over sensitive. Your neighbours were not, I believe being intentionally ignorant, it's just how you have perceived it.

I feel for you LinFreed It's exhausting moving house at the best of times, but alone!
I hope you are very happy in the new home.

I get angry and frustrated every day by something I have to manage by myself. Today it was chasing up an application for a loan for a new boiler.
The form was 25 pages and I couldn't face doing it online so printed it and posted it in the post box.
Well I may as well have sent it to the moon.
The girl on the phone said, when I broke down in tears, "haven't you somebody you can ask to help?"
I am sure you will know what that feels like!
I tried to tell them that the forms should be simpler but to no avail.

Here's wishing you much happiness in the next phase of your life. Hopefully you and your beautiful Spaniel will find somewhere with friendly neighbours. I prefer my pets to my neighbours any day!!!

Pat yourself on the back Linfreed for all you achieved yesterday. I am very sorry you received no assistance from people around you. Try to focus on now rather than the past. Easier said than done!
Have a wonderful time in your bolthole with your beloved spaniel. Love Dogs

Very brave to move house without any help specially leaving a home you shared with your late husband. Very best of luck and happiness in your new home.

Sadly sometimes we can appear too independent and this leads others to think we don't need help but well done and I hope you are happy in your new home and remember the grumpy neighbours are someone else's neighbours now

You have a kind friend, a lovely dog and a family that does care so just think of that. You have found out who really matters now to you so to hell with your old neighbours, you will get nice new ones and for friends who never helped or asked how you got on, you don't need them. You managed your move very well, good luck in you new home ?

I wouldn't expect neighbours to help with a move.

It's a very stressful time moving and to do it all on your own even more so. I suspect your sadness would be heightened as your husband was no longer with you and all the memories you would be leaving behind in that house would be leaving you emotional.

Well done on getting through it. Enjoy the new chapter in your life and your seaside stay. Best of luck with your home negotiation.

I hope you find your new home a joy and find new friends and pleasant neighbours.

I understand why you felt let down, but reading your post it crossed my mind to wonder if you had actually asked either your son, daughter or neighbours for help?

Admittedly, last time we moved, we got precious little help even after asking for it, but my point is that these days people, even those who have known us longest, and family are so afraid, apparently, to be thought "interfering" that they do not offer help and have to be asked point blank for it.

Agree. I project capability I know this but there’s always the little girl inside that cries for attention
I know when I’m doing it
You’re right. Don’t be afraid to ask it’s just people. And some are drains and radiators too, big hearts or smaller hearts givers & takers
But find it best for me not to judge much as we never know what’s going on in their life at any given time I guess.
I was so envious of others with a supporting partner in the eye hospital waiting room tbh , but also very grateful they each mucked in to paint my new place ?‍♀️ People aye?
Lots of happiness. You never know I got a card 3 weeks after moving from my ex neighbour Shock & surprise

“ If you don’t ask you don’t get “ …a phrase I learned decades ago! In most cases it is a truism.
My late best friend who died aged 91 was very capable but needed some help as she aged, and such is life that people either don’t know ( and often don’t want to know with the busy lives led nowadays) you need a bit of help.
My friend even though she was in her 80s/ early 90 s always used to say ‘ Play the old lady card’ even though that was exactly what she was… she usually got it!

I too have managed to procure another (rental) home at last(after almost 2yrs!) And having no other help packing (mostly me) my disabled sons only trying best to do their own rooms.I've a daughter lives near who said she thought I'd want to sort stuff out myself!- so yes maybe if we give the impression we can manage they will let us cope! I have managed to procure help on the day from 2 other sons by arranging it on a day to suit THEM rather than me!-(maybe that would have been better idea for you too?) But I'm looking forward to this new house and any setbacks (already problems with getting carpets cleaned etc! And collecting keys.) are NOT going to dampen my spirits.! I cannot wait.(note to self- on the day ill take flask)??

Having moved house several times in life I have never had help from neighbours and never would I expect it, and it has always been me knocking on the door to say goodbye. An acknowledgement of your going would have been a good memory to take with you. But as soon as you’re on the move the neighbours also move on. The lack of help and support from your children is, of course a different matter; your daughter at least got in touch but your son needs a rocket, did you ask either for help. Have a happy future in your new home.

I'm sorry about your DH's death and that you had to clear the house on your own and move.

DH had a huge carved elephant for years. Friends had seen it many times over the years and admired it so when the time came to sell the house and move, we give the first dibs on the elephant and the price was agreed. They came to "collect" it but decided, on arrival, that they didn't want it. They then proceeded to go through our house a we were packing. They didn't offer to help but hovered around. We got the feeling that they were nosey and hoping for freebies or stuff we might take to the charity shop. We got more uncomfortable with their behaviour and presence that DH had to make an excuse to get them to leave!

Sad how people become vultures!

All the best LynFreed, and I hope you settle in to your new place quickly.

In the future, please reconsider if you are asking too much of your neighbours.
Unless you are close friends, being cordial is enough.

Did you ask your son and daughter for help moving?

Enjoy your new home. Forget about your old neighbours.

Linfreed, you did it and what a big positive that was. I was in a similar boat, widowed 7 years ago, I moved by myself when I was 71, three years ago, I tackled everything myself, from sorting to packing, to cleaning. Look on it positively as the great big achievement it is and give yourself a big pat on the bag