No Help Moving

I too think most folks are thoughtless in that they simply are incapable of 'thinking' if you mentioned that you maybe struggled I bet they'd all give it" oh gosh , I didn't think, you should have let us know ...' etc.the big standard reaction of the thoughtless!well done for doing it yourself , hard work shames the devil and your capability shamed the selfish! Good luck and happy times in the new den!

I think neighbours have over the years become less friendly or helpful. Now they all fence themselves in and the women all go to work, drive off in their cars and the children no longer play in the street.

Too many cars Bijou plus children are staying in playing with their devices. It’s very different now.

It’s Defo your image you’re giving off ….. my image is efficiency and capability.Then after caring for my husband for 25 years …alone …. I stroked out and ended up in stroke unit.
I’m recovered …. yet here I am still doing his caring. Warning! Be careful of your image…. You might like it …. but others will take it as a given that you can manage on your own!

Perhaps there is a feeling of resentment from old neighbours that you are leaving them, moving on to better things? also moving house is such a busy time that you would fear to intrude and be a nuisance? But still just to ring the bell with a note and a bottle/pkt of biscuits or some token would be a kind gesture. Yes I hope this past experience is overtaken by the welcome you will receive in your new home. I do think that covid has made people more self centred??

So sorry .....its hard when neighbours don't come and say goodbye at least ! When my husband died and we lived in France, I sold the bungalow and moved back to the UK ....did it all on my own ...neighbour had a truck, was younger and fit but didn't offer to even take stuff to the tip for me ...had to lug all the machinery etc on my own out of the shed, into the back of my little car and make 3 trips a day to get rid of it ! Gave away everything as it was cheaper to buy new in the UK rather than move it with me ! in the end, some acquaintances I did't know that well came to help me ...one had a friend with a van .......let them take a pick of all the stuff I was giving away as I was so pleased they came to help, even though I hardly knew them ............sometimes we find friends we never knew we had ! Now still in touch with them ....I hope you settle into your new home and get o love it !

It may not have been about your being a widow. Our family lived in a small cul de sac, with wonderful neighbours on our left who were fantastic friends, meals out/in, caring for the Dad next door when they went away etc. On the night before our move 3 other neighbours called in to say goodbye...our wonderful neighbours didn't, and hid the next day too. Some people just don't like change perhaps.

Some people feel embarrassed about saying goodbyes. Should it be goodbye means good by, never contact each other again or good by, keep in contact on Facebook, What about giving us your new address for Christmas cards? Some people feel embarrassed about approaching the leaver and embarressed about what the leaver may say to them.

I had been in my last house for 17 years and had a really good relationship with neighbours. I wouldn't have expected or asked them to help get rid of stuff or help me move. The night before I left I went to their house with a couple of bottles to say thank you for being good neighbours. I also sent flowers to them the following day. They didn't come out to say goodbye and I didn't expect them to.

Did the OP ask her children for help and support with the move? If she was passively waiting for them to volunteer, they wer probably passively waiting for her to ask.

I think most people are superficial as friends, even though 'they' keep reminding people to look out for elderly neighbours.

You have got through the move bravely and I wish you and angel Spaniel the best good fortune in your new place.

I wonder if you are moving from a place with families to maybe a bungalow district with many single elderly. I think there may be a better chance of real friends if so.

I think too you need to not be shy of asking your son and daughter for help . They both seem to need to be informed in explicit language. It's amazing how ignorant adult people can be!

Unfortunately, I think this is the way of the world now. Everyone is so busy getting on with their lives, and time moves so quickly. It's been getting that way for a few decades now. I feel ashamed that there are times when I just want to sit and stare into space for a couple of hours, lost in my own thoughts. It seems that you have to be 'on the go' every waking minute of your day or you are labelled 'lazy' or a 'layabout'. We all need to chill now and again.

MOnica My daughter was away for a few days with her family & in-laws, my son had just started a new job that week.

I told my daughter over the phone this week how disappointed I was at her distant attitude and how traumatic the move was for me. I had to phone her, as she never once picked up the phone to see how Inwas getting on.

My dear dog got pancreatitis, just after the move a few days ago, and was very ill for a couple of days. She didn't call then, just a quick text. She is cold and matter of fact. Her dh (and in-laws) have complained to me about her coldness and detachment.

My son thinks she needs to go to a therapist.

LinFreed I am sorry your DD is unsympathetic, that must be difficult to deal with.

Effalump, I have lived alone with dogs for over twenty years and have become so accustomed to my situation that I enjoy having the choice whether or not to sit staring into space. Staring into space is not actually my fav way to escape from social reality but who is to say it's not effective? Not me!

MOnica, I hope your dog is well again. Some people don't know that the dog is essentially part of the family.

PS Maybe it was LinFreed's dog who got pancreatitis ?

Well done for clearing your house and moving ON YOUR OWN!! It is a massive thing to do and you must feel wore out by it. Good luck in your new home