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Were you a disappointment to your parents ?

(212 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Tue 09-Aug-22 22:46:59

Yes, being very clever was the most important thing to my parents and I did not go to uni because a cousin who lectured there told my parents I wouldnt be able to cope with the course even though he didnt know me!
They disapproved of my husband because of gossip they had heard and never really liked him or his family through snobbishness of his background.

Sago Tue 09-Aug-22 22:46:48

I grew up hearing the words”I rue the day you were born” I was always a disappointment.
My brother the golden child could do no wrong.

maddyone Tue 09-Aug-22 22:43:54

My mother liked to boast of my achievements, although they were really rather limited, but she didn’t seem to like me much or be pleased with me much, judging by the way she always tried to put me down verbally and often quite cruelly. My father was proud of me and I knew that.
My mother seems to like me more now she’s old, in a care home, and fairly helpless. She always thanks me for visiting her now.

henetha Tue 09-Aug-22 22:40:06

Yes definitely. I was adopted and never lived up to expectations. I think I was a huge disappointment.

Kate1949 Tue 09-Aug-22 22:36:43

They couldn't have cared less.

Golddustwoman Tue 09-Aug-22 22:32:58

yes, absolutely, I never even thought they particularly like me! the positive from it though is that I have always let my children know when I am proud of them - and not for big achievements but for being kind etc

FarNorth Tue 09-Aug-22 22:11:26

That's awful twiglet , I'm sorry to hear that happened.

FarNorth Tue 09-Aug-22 22:10:12

I did the same as you floradora thanks to hopeless career advice from school although my parents had hoped I'd go to university.
They never seemed disappointed, tho, and encouraged me with whatever I did.

twiglet77 Tue 09-Aug-22 21:59:19

Yes, for being conceived after they thought they’d had enough children. My mother never stopped reminding me I was unplanned.

Smileless2012 Tue 09-Aug-22 21:55:57

Not as far as I know. I'm happy with my life and the choices I made and to me that's all that matters.

cornergran Tue 09-Aug-22 21:54:56

I suspect I did. I was the wrong gender I think and could never replace the still born son. Having said that both parents were loving and did all they could for me, an undercurrent of sadness was always there though.

Floradora9 Tue 09-Aug-22 21:50:04

I am sure I was . I did not go on to further education though given plenty of encouragement to do so . I started work in a bank , at that time it was unusual to spend 5 years in high school and do so , and I must admit was was happy there. My mother would at times ask if I would not like to go and get a " real job " like training to be a nurse which she did . I only once tried to get another job which came with training but did not get it . I think that thing that I did that made my mother happy was to produce her two grandchildren whome she doted on . At least neat the end of her life she said that she was sorry she had not been good to her own mother but I had been good to her.