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Saying thank you

(81 Posts)
Mattsmum2 Wed 17-Aug-22 17:10:27

Is it me or has the art of saying thank you for receiving a card gone out of fashion. I can see some threads elsewhere on here but nothing about sending cards. I wouldn’t dream if not saying thanks even though electronic means if I received a card yet I tend to not get this returned., or am I being too touchy? Example is a friend whose birthday it was followed by a house move card. Nothing from them ?‍♀️

MrsKen33 Wed 17-Aug-22 19:21:51

We do thatGeorgesgran but we call it an unbirthday ’ as in Alice in Wonderland

JackyB Wed 17-Aug-22 19:39:53

I wouldn't expect thanks for a card either. As others have said, it could then ping pong back and forth indefinitely.

Having said that, if I get a card or a letter hand made or at least hand written from the grandchildren, I do acknowledge it with due praise.

Georgesgran Wed 17-Aug-22 19:56:33

Thank goodness you’re all as daft as us MrsKen33 x

Mattsmum2 Wed 17-Aug-22 19:56:45

sounds like I’m in the minority for this then. I will continue to say thanks because I always have ❤️

lixy Wed 17-Aug-22 21:12:19

I say thank you the next time I see/am in contact with someone, but wouldn't write a letter especially.
My mum however writes a letter at the drop of a hat and does thank people for cards.

We do 'unbirthdays' for Gchildren and have done for children until they left home. Traditionally the 'unbirthday' gift is a tube of Smarties!

nadateturbe Wed 17-Aug-22 21:20:43

Me too Mattsmum, but we're all different.

I didn't know you could still get tubes of smarties.

I still love writing real letters, and receiving them.

JenniferEccles Wed 17-Aug-22 22:34:24

I always acknowledge birthday cards. Isn’t it a bit rude not to given that someone had to remember it was my birthday, buy a card, make sure they had a stamp, and post it in time.
Bit of a faff isn’t it, and if the sender doesn’t hear a dicky bird then they have no way of knowing if the card arrived

I thank by text message even if, in the case of family, I am seeing them later for a meal out.

Serendipity22 Wed 17-Aug-22 22:42:08

I view a card be it through the post or electronically deserves a thank you. I find it rude to not say a quick thank you and appreciate the fact someone has taken the trouble.

smile

StarDreamer Wed 17-Aug-22 22:50:58

welbeck

what does that mean ??
seven and a half what ?

That seven and a half years have elapsed since the person was born.

With those make a customised birthday badge kits that arrive with two sets of adhesive backed digits so that one could make a customised badge for any age from 1 to 110, it would be an inexpensive addition for the set of adhesive backed digits to have a few fractions as well.

With cards, do readers prefer a card with text on the front or one with a just a picture and the greeting inside?

I think that a card with just a picture is good because that means that it can be framed and displayed as a picture rather than just put in a drawer.

StarDreamer Wed 17-Aug-22 22:55:42

Georgesgran

Meant to add - everyone thinks we’re crazy, but we don’t care.

I think it is lovely.

StarDreamer Wed 17-Aug-22 23:00:29

BlueBelle

So ‘a’ sends a card and ‘b’ thanks her for sending the card and ‘a’ thanks her for thanking her and ‘b’ thanks her for thanking her for thanking her
I m very happy to get a thank you for a present

Each successive card could have one fewer colour so that it is like an infinite series that converges to a finite limit. grin

[geek humour]

Franbern Thu 18-Aug-22 08:35:46

I DO expect an acknowlegement if I have sent any of my g.children a present or money.
I was very touched that my 22-year old g.son did send me a text thanking me for his birthday card.
If I wish to thank a friend or neighbour when they have done something to help me out, I prefer to send some flowers, or chocs or wine than a card.

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 18-Aug-22 08:51:21

I expect an acknowledgment from my step grandchildren too Franbern but it doesn’t happen now. I was brought up always to write a thank you letter. Basic good manners. Each Christmas and birthday I vow that will be the last time …

VB000 Thu 18-Aug-22 08:58:14

Would they normally have said thanks in the past? Maybe they are too busy after a house move...? I don't expect a thanks for a card though.

Harris27 Thu 18-Aug-22 09:04:27

I’ve even got ignorant grandchildren who don’t thank me when I send money so no hope for a card!

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 18-Aug-22 09:08:44

Sounds all too familiar Harris. Then you’re left wondering if it arrived.

PaperMonster Thu 18-Aug-22 09:13:32

I’ve an 11 year old. If she hasn’t seen the sender of the gift to say thank you to, she writes a thank you note.

Who on earth sends a thank you for a card??? A bit OTT.

Fleurpepper Thu 18-Aug-22 09:18:32

Agreed. Unless you meet up or speak on the phone and 'ah thanks for the card' is fine.

Grammaretto Thu 18-Aug-22 09:33:30

We send eachother texts as thanks for cards and presents
If not I tend to ask if it was received. Maybe not for just a card but always for a parcel.
Which reminds me I have some thanking to do .

Yammy Thu 18-Aug-22 09:35:19

I forgot to say my DDs did get a little present when it was the other DD's birthday . It all started when the second DD came along nearly at Christmas, they would be waiting in expectation and then Grans would arrive with Birthday presents so they always brought a small one for the other. They then did the same in summer for the winter baby. Nothing big just to say they had thought of them as well but we never had a name for them.
These days nephews, in particular, seem to expect substantial cheques which I have stopped as we never hear from them from one year to the next. The girls do Email me now and again but no card neither does their father my BIL.
It was always part of good manners when I was young and was quoted as "Manners maketh man".

welbeck Thu 18-Aug-22 10:59:59

i'm quite surprised at all this sending money to nephews etc.
i never experienced that. except once years ago an aunt sent me a five dollar bill, which was quite exciting. i was about 8. i remember going to deposit it in the bank, and being interested in how they have to offer me a rate for conversion into sterling first.
i doubt i wrote to thank her though.
probably why that was the only one.
someone in america either the same or the wife of an uncle, sent me a small transistor radio, which was nice.
we were not brought up to write thank you notes.
i can see now that it is quite a nice thing to do, esp to older or distant relatives.
but apart from an occasional five shillings at xmas, no one gave other people's children money or gifts. it just wasn't the culture.

nanna8 Thu 18-Aug-22 11:10:56

I buy heaps of presents for children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, more than 20 of them. Most thank me but one particular family doesn’t . I just think they are rude and it makes me not want to bother. My aunts and uncles never bothered to give me any presents and I didn’t really have a relationship with them, either. I think because we are migrants we tend to value the family ties more perhaps. Family is very,very important here.

M0nica Thu 18-Aug-22 12:20:55

I always get/give thanks for presents, just not for cards - and I do not expect to get thanks myself.

nadateturbe Thu 18-Aug-22 12:27:11

If I wish to thank a friend or neighbour when they have done something to help me out, I prefer to send some flowers, or chocs or wine than a card.

I think most people would.

nadateturbe Thu 18-Aug-22 12:29:31

Harris and GSM

Same with me. I often send a text to ask if something arrived.