Arschnophobes beware!!!!!

It’s a Giant House Spider (eratigena atrica)

Have you had a wee yet?

Aaaaaaargh!
HELP!
Giant and spider don't belong in the same sentence, ever.

I’m not helping, am I?

Nope I havent had a wee.
I have options, I'm considering to sort that out without involving the bathroom.

What about your annoying neighbour?
Can she help? (With the spider, not the wee)

I know you're trying to help, fanny.
I do appreciate it, but all the gory details about spiders is a lot to take for someone who is very afraid of them.

Changing, the subject…
isn’t it lovely that it’s still dark at this time in the morning

The annoying neighbour isn't afraid of them, but she will better him to death, plus she takes sleeping pills at night.

Sorry, cross post.
I wasn’t ‘changing the subject’ from you being scared.
If it’s that bad for you, you might be better off just killing it
Like I said I do understand where you are coming from

Have you got any fly spray?
I’m not sure if that would do it.

If I were you, I’d wee in a washing up bowl (or something) and get someone to help later in the morning

I'm too afraid to kill it.
The electric tennis racquet would be horrific on something that big, but it would be instant (I assume it would, but it's the sheer size of the spider)

I have a very, very strong spray, but it takes a,while to work.

And the very strong spray sometimes makes other crawly things run out of their hidey holes, coughing and choking.

I am going into that bathroom!
Right now.

Well done! Good luck!

Phew!
I'm back.
I couldn't "go" when I got there, frozen with fear, I think.

You'll have to do something or it might move and you won't know where it is!

Yes I know.
I think I'd be able to hear it clambering out of the bath, it's that big.

It won’t be able to get out of the bath.

That’s why you see them in there so often. As I said, it’s either fallen in or went for a drink from a water droplet

I am like you MissA - you could suck the little monster up with a hand held vacuum cleaner but I would have washed it down the plug hole by now

I have some folded up, dry flannels on one corner of the bath.

If it stood on tiptoes, I think it could reach them and use them to haul itself out.

It won't though, will it?

It's very unlikely it will be able to get out of the bath the poor things tend to get stuck.
I used to have the same fear when I was younger, now I pop a glass over them slide a bit of card underneath and put them outside I do this because if my daughter is here she freaks out she will hoover the poor unsuspecting spider up

I can't do the vacuum thing.
Too close for comfort.
I did it once years ago, and ended up throwing the vacuum out on the grass outside, where it promptly got pinched.

And there is no way that spider would fit down a plughole.

You’ll be able to get someone to help soon, hopefully