Children having haircuts

My son was like this when very young but grew out of it, certainly well before he went to school. It seemed he thought part of him was being cut off, there was of course no pain. My Mum was good at snipping some off. Going to the barber was horribly embarrassing. I’m afraid I have no suggestions beyond perseverance and a little treat for being a good boy. It is awful isn’t it? Very distressing.

My son was the same, the only advice I can give is find a patient hairdresser. Ours was brilliant at building arelationship with him, and I knew she wasnt stressed by it which helped. He had to sit on my knee and be held basically. He grew out of it but it wasnt much fun.

I wonder if it would help if he was taken to the barber ‘like the big boys’ and could watch chaps happily getting their hair cut before his turn came? I think that after the initial hugely embarrassing fuss that might have been what got rid of my son’s fear.

If it’s causing that amount of distress I’d just leave it, children have all sorts of hair length now.

If he's happy with his hair now, I wouldn't get too worried.
I would say generally every so often 'Oh I like your friend's hairdo, I wonder who does it for him?' (note avoidance of word 'cut')

My younger GSs go to a place where they sit in a 'sports car' watch cartoons and have their hair 'done'. Long waiting list!

I'd also like to add that when I was little I went to a fantastic dentist (a refugee from Hitler) and a horrible hairdresser (great friend of my mum). They still influence how I feel about having those appointments!

Does the school require short hair? My older grandson (5) liked his hair quite long - made him look like a girl! However, when he started getting teased about it he agreed to get it cut a bit - not very short, nowhere near ears.

I used to cut my children's hair myself - when small I would stand them on a stool at sink and let them play with water - while distracted I could snip away. However, that only works when quite small!

MasterOops was the same when he was about 3 he sobbed and said it hurt!
I have a great nephew who has waist length hair and is adamant that he isn’t getting it cut - he is 8! (Lovely thick blonde hair) I’m not sure that I would have let it go, but I’m not his parents.

My youngest grandson now 6 had wonderful curly locks that DD didn’t want to cut off . She trimmed it every now and then and eventually when he did get it done professionally little 3 year old GS cried and cried during the whole procedure. So it was left for ages again. When he started school once back after Covid , the first thing he did was to demand to have a “big haircut” so SiL took him to the barbers dreading the scene there might be ! SiL had hair cut first and then GS leapt onto the chair with delight . He now spends ages in front of the mirror “styling” his hair before school !

My DGSs both go to salons where they sit in sports cars and watch cartoons while their hair is cut - DGS2 had his first cut just after his 1st birthday with no fuss.
GSM’s idea of going to a barber and watching others having their hair cut (without him having his cut) is a good suggestion, or perhaps find somewhere that specializes in cutting childrens’ hair - I know these exist.

Ask on the likes of Facebook on your local residents' group or forum for recommendations. We have a really good barber near us who has a little Mini car (just like the real thing) which the children can sit in to get their hair cut. My grandson literally cannot sit still for 30 seconds, but he will sit in that while he gets his hair cut.
At my work, where there are many children with autism, we found it very helpful to get the pretend play hairdresser and barber kits out and let the children play with them, just to get used to the type of things which are used in a salon.

Some good suggestions on here but I would also say just leave it. Why shouldn't boys have long hair? It even used to be fashionable in times past.

Nothing wrong with that whatsoever, Baggs.

why force something totally unnecessary if it causes such angst.
it's not like a medical procedure.
just tie it back or up in a top knot or hairband, like the footballers.
i think it's so important that children can totally trust their parents.
then if something unpleasant really has to be done, they know it is absolutely necessary otherwise their parents would not insist. that helps them face things.

welbeck, I do agree with you. I had that bond of trust with my kids (although haircuts weren't an issue)
I also told them that as ear piercings and tattoos were unnecessary procedures that carried risks, I would never consent on their behalf. I didn't tell them that I hated them or any of the arguments any of my friends used, simply that until they could consent, I would not do it for them.
None of them has either!

DS hated having his hair cut until I lighted on a proper barber who called him (aged 3!) sir and discussed the cut with him. Problem solved, large tip earned every half term or so until he came under the less than artistic hands of the school barber.

My DGS was like this. Hysterical about having it cut and angry because it kept growing. It didn’t hang down nicely so he could keep it long, just looked like an overgrown toilet brush. My hairdresser at the time took a chair outside and let him watch the children playing in the playground whilst she cut it. They would come to the fence and wave to him and he’d calm down. It had stopped by the time he was four.
It worked wonderfully, though I’m not sure whether it was also so the other clients were not disturbed by his noise.
Several boys throughout both key stages where I teach, have longer hair. Some get it cut when the swimming teacher won’t let them in without a cap, some quite happily wear a cap and keep it long.

So many fun ideas! I have taken both my grandsons (2 and 7) along to my own hairdresser here in the village and never had any problems. The first time I took the little one I let him watch his brother having his hair cut first. They both just sat there meekly while the hairdresser chatted and shipped away.. The elder one recently had a haircut at a hairdresser local to him (his Dad took him) and I will admit that it was a much better cut. He looks like my cousin now! (Cousin sadly long dead)

At the barber’s where Gds gets his hair cut they have an iPad set up for them to watch. Funnily enough his haircuts have never been a problem - except for Mummy and Granny, who could have cried when his lovely blond curls were first cut off!

DGS was just the same but the hairdresser we eventually found had little cars for the child to sit in and tvs to watch and for the bigger ones computer games. No problem after that. I say no problem, but although he will now go to the local hairdresser, he is autistic and his hair now has to be just so so he has to have it cut every two weeks!

Thanks for all the suggestions! Nothing has worked so far. Better luck next time - he enjoyed his first couple of days at school anyway!

He doesn’t want his hair cut. It doesn’t matter the reason - it’s not doing him any harm, his parents should just let it be for now.

Bribery, works for us ?

DGS2 is the same. He was not too bad until he was almost 3 then a barber nicked his ear so is now so distraught and has had to be restrained that DD2 has let him grow it. He likes his long hair even if it goes in his eyes. It is so distressing when he is distraught. He doesn't like it being brushed now so I expect he will soon ask for it to be cut a bit. He is 4 now.

We have a childrens hair dresser here who has them in an actual playroom with tv games on the wall and a very sensory room might be worth seeing if there’s anything in the area

Another idea when my grandson was small (and not so small) he couldn’t tolerate the check ups at the dentist he just couldn’t bear it, once he even told the dentist she was hurting him and she replied but xxxxxx I haven’t started yet I ve got no further than you opening your mouth His mum had an idea of him wearing headphones and listening to ‘his’ music He was absolutely fine with that and there was never a problem
Is that an idea ?