Gransnet forums

Chat

Spending weekend alone

(208 Posts)
Knittingnovice Sat 08-Oct-22 15:23:13

Gosh I'm lonely. I have hobbies where I see people, but I'm alone tonight and all day tomorrow.

Yes I'll keep busy, get out of house etc
But I feel lonely and I'm existing. I know I'll get through, work is very busy so I need to rest too but I'm lonely.

I feel a bit better writing that but I also feel shame and would never say in real life.

Aldom Sat 08-Oct-22 16:42:07

Hello. So sorry that you feel lonely. Even more sorry for some of the abrupt comments on here.
I sense a sadness about you. You didn't say why you are alone. Bereavement, divorce, never married? I mention this because my brother died this week. They had no family, so my sister in law is alone this weekend. I live a very long distance from her. She too is going to be facing loneliness. She's not one for small talk, chatting on the phone either. I hope your feeling of sadness will lift. My thoughts are with you. flowers smile

Hels001 Sat 08-Oct-22 16:47:08

Well said Grandmadinosaur exactly my thoughts.

pinkquartz Sat 08-Oct-22 16:50:16

too many women commenting on here.

if the OP says she is lonely then she is lonely ask why. don't criticize.
i had to learn how to cope when a sudden severe illness made mehousebound. I had to learn.......its not always possible to feel ok in a new situation.

op my suggestion is to do something new tomorrow and plan it today. even going out for tea or cofee.

Are there any events taking place tomorrow. Use the internet to find out.
Good luck and ignore the unkind comment

Toetoe Sat 08-Oct-22 16:54:09

❤️ I so remember my first Easter weekend alone , 4 days , no one to talk to , or be with , others surrounded by family and friends
It's painful but as time goes by it somehow gets easier and after many years alone it is quite normal to spend days alone, I'm no longer haunted by loneliness and am grateful for that .

I totally understand

Chestnut Sat 08-Oct-22 16:54:25

Being alone is not the same as being lonely. I do think our childhood can create a need for either company or solitude. If you had siblings and a lively household that will be what you are used to. An only child can cope with solitude and may even dislike noisy groups. So I feel our upbringing is relevant.

I feel sorry for people who need others to bounce off all the time, because it's as though they can't bear their own company and their own thoughts. And it can't be good for you. Your brain needs to spend time with itself. I sometimes worry that the grandchildren are not getting enough 'alone time' because they are constantly with others from getting out of bed until they go back to bed.

busybeejay Sat 08-Oct-22 16:54:32

Can’t believe people putting comments on here that are not supportive.It just makes the situation worse.If you can’t say anything kind then don’t bother saying anything.Barbarax

MayBee70 Sat 08-Oct-22 17:01:34

Chestnut

Being alone is not the same as being lonely. I do think our childhood can create a need for either company or solitude. If you had siblings and a lively household that will be what you are used to. An only child can cope with solitude and may even dislike noisy groups. So I feel our upbringing is relevant.

I feel sorry for people who need others to bounce off all the time, because it's as though they can't bear their own company and their own thoughts. And it can't be good for you. Your brain needs to spend time with itself. I sometimes worry that the grandchildren are not getting enough 'alone time' because they are constantly with others from getting out of bed until they go back to bed.

But I was like that. I’m someone that needs a certain amount of me time and solitude. Which is why it hit me so hard when I found myself overwhelmed by loneliness.

pinkquartz Sat 08-Oct-22 17:04:37

ooops I meant to say too many mean comments on here !

crazyH Sat 08-Oct-22 17:05:26

I have 3 children and their families , all living in the same village /town as I do. I haven’t had a text or a call. Since it’s such a beautiful day, I’m sure they’re at the seaside or wherever, with their young families. And that’s how it should be. I spent the day catching up with my washing, tidying etc. Thats how the future’s looking ?

pinkquartz Sat 08-Oct-22 17:05:41

spending time alone can be the beginning of a new life even.A hobby not yet explored.
Visit museum, or art gallery.

rafichagran Sat 08-Oct-22 17:06:12

Grandmadinosaur

What happened to being kind? All the replies “words fail me”
Nobody really knows how people feel and what’s going on in there lives. If they are lonely they are lonely and unkind words don’t help.

Totally agree, why be so harsh, we are all different. I am surprised at some of these replies, which will only make the OP feel worse.

rosie1959 Sat 08-Oct-22 17:17:22

Sometimes you can feel totally alone even when surrounded by people.
There is no easy answer OP but sometimes just sharing how you feel can help. Please ignore the unsympathetic comments they are not at all helpful. Have you a close friend you could share your feelings with. The suggestion of a church service might help especially if you have a church nearby that focuses on the wellbeing of its members. We have a lovely Christian church nearby that gets very involved in the community and is very supportive.

BlueBelle Sat 08-Oct-22 17:22:12

The poster didn’t say she was lonely in life she said she has friends and hobbies and goes to groups and is busy at work just that she would be lonely tonight and tomorrow because her hobbies weren’t happening that’s why I replied as I did
I have EVERY compassion for lonely people whether they are lonely through lack of friends/ activities/ groups or isolation of any kind but poster said it was just because she had not got anything happening these two days

MayBee70 Sat 08-Oct-22 17:24:34

The most alone I felt was visiting a seaside town and being surrounded by people. Everyone seemed to be with someone else except me. And yet I often used to go out alone for the day when I still had my family at home and thought nothing of it.

Judy54 Sat 08-Oct-22 17:25:28

Hello Knittingnovice even if you don't want to attend a church service, many churches have coffee mornings where you can pop in and chat to people and perhaps make new friends. It may be something to consider. I do hope that you find somewhere that will make a difference to your life and leave you feeling less lonely.

pascal30 Sat 08-Oct-22 17:41:22

I have lived alone for years and really relish my freedom and solitude and enjoy activities and social activities outside my home... but the times I have felt lonely have been when I have felt low or unwell eg covid.. I'm wondering whether you are depressed? Perhaps have a chat with your GP... just a thought... wish you well..

Blossoming Sat 08-Oct-22 18:32:47

I am so sorry knittingnovice that you feel so alone. If there are others in the area maybe you could take it in turns to visit and have coffee, chat, watch TV together or similar? It doesn’t mean to be a grand occasion, just a friendly get together.

Mapleleaf Sat 08-Oct-22 19:18:11

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Debbi58 Sat 08-Oct-22 19:31:43

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way , I wish I had some wise words for you . I feel the same as you somedays, I'm happily married with 2 grown up daughters and 3 lovely grandchildren. I'm in constant pain with arthritis and neuropathy pain. I often feel I have no-one to talk to , I don't feel I can talk to my family, as they're probably fed up with me complaining. I'm sorry you've had some negative comments on here , I find it can be a bit judgemental on here , which surprises me , as I thought the point of the site is to ask for advice or just to have a vent.

Urmstongran Sat 08-Oct-22 19:43:27

Ah knittingnovice try not to dwell. Perhaps watch some tv tonight? Strictly is popular with many people and maybeyou could immerse yourself in that or similar for a couple of hours? Don’t go to bed too late. Tomorrow you could ring someone for a chat. Or FaceTime them? That’s almost as good a real company. Look up something on YouTube that might make you laugh too. It’s the best medicine.

It’ll soon be Monday. ?

henetha Sat 08-Oct-22 19:51:45

Hello knittingnovice. I'm sorry you feel like this. It's not easy is it. Lots of good suggestions above for finding company. But it not that simple sometimes is it. I've lived alone for years and mostly don't mind, but just now and then I could rage and scream against the loneliness.
This time of year emphasises it I think, with the dark winter ahead.
I hope you find something to make you feel better. Good wishes. smile

Harris27 Sat 08-Oct-22 19:57:46

I agree you can be lonely even in a crowd. Sometimes loneliness just hits you even if your part of a group or family. I do hope some of these comments have helped.

MawtheMerrier Sat 08-Oct-22 20:01:40

Weekends are the worst though aren’t they?
You can be perfectly OK on a weekday, even welcome the peace and “space” for yourself, but personally I hate Sundays and have posted on this before, how glad I am when it’s Monday again.
How you cope with being on your own is down to you though.
Look at it positively - eat what you like, drink what you like, watch what TV you like, go to bed and get up when you like.
My DH died well before his time , nearly 5 years ago and if I were to let being on my own get me down I would never pick myself up again.
You don’t say why you are on your own , I hope it is not for a sad reason but remember life is not the cards you are dealt but how you play your hand

BlueBalou Sat 08-Oct-22 20:04:05

Hello knittingnovice, I know how you feel, I have been there too despite plenty going on in my life and being married too! I sympathise ?
I think sometimes I don’t know how to’just be me’ when there are so many demands on us.
I hope tomorrow brings some cheer x

Lyng17 Sat 08-Oct-22 20:04:21

I can't get my head around some of the unkind attitudes on here. I am amazed that those making thoughtless comments have any company themselves if that's how they treat others.