Which is more important? I can't decide.

M0nica

Then and now the most important thing in a partner was that he be a non-smoker and tidy.

DH, hid his untidiness very successfully until after we married (54 years ago).

that gave me a chuckle,

In fact, I don't think I thought about much else (other than sex!) in the early days so I think it was probably luck that means we are still here.

My first long term relationship was all about lust, not a lot of kindness there, and it didn’t end well.
I’ve always known my husband was a kind man, and I think it’s my number one reason for being together for so long.

Thank you Dickens. Our lovely nephew was 16 when he died, 14 when he contracted leukemia. Two years of hell for him.

(((Hugs))) kate.

Thank you kitty. It was a long time ago.

I remember kate.

M0nica, I'm with you all the way on the non-smoker part. No matter how attractive I found someone, if they were a smoker, it would be an instant non-starter.

To this day my husband remains the kindest man I have ever met and it’s most definitely the reason I married him. That he is also easy on the eye is simply a bonus.

Definitely sexiness when I was young but now it has to be kindness. My husband is kind & tolerant, that's what I love about him.

Late husband was kind and, for me, that made him sexy. I don't think the marriage would have worked if either component was missing.
Current love interest is also very kind although he tries to hide it behind a gruff exterior and, yes, I find him sexy although not necessarily in the mad-panting-lust way of 50 years ago.

These are lovely replies.

Mine is very kind and thoughtful but hasn't forgotten how to be sexy on the right occasion. Certainly has looked after himself physically looks good.

The best of both worlds.
That's a nice place to be in life.

Kindness at all ages. Kindness is sexy. Someone who isn't kind isn't sexy, no matter what they look like.

I can (or could!) find someone sexy because they made me laugh.

That and if they can play an instrument (with the exception of the trombone) and I'm sold!

Kindness, every time.

I’m still looking …….

Kindness can be shown in so many ways I am all for that.

Kindness definitely. But as Concordia says I still find him sexy but not in the mad-panting-lust kind of way. We still love holding hands.

Kate1949

Thank you Dickens. Our lovely nephew was 16 when he died, 14 when he contracted leukemia. Two years of hell for him.

Oh Kate, that is a tragedy. Poor, poor lad, so young.

I got lucky too. DH was kind and sexy. We made it to 51yrs .
Happy anniversary kitty
We were married in 1969 too.
A friend of my mother's told her he looked like an angel.

I lied. We have been married 52 years today.

Kindness .... ?

I have both. Lovely I didn't have to choose.

I can (or could!) find someone sexy because they made me laugh.

MissAdventure: That certainly applies to my DH, to whom I’ve been married for nearly seven years. He’s also slim, has a good head of hair and loves animals. It’s not all good news because he’s untidy and an inveterate hoarder but then so am I!!
We live in different countries but that keeps the magic alive when we meet. An eleven month separation caused by Covid restrictions wasn’t fun but life is better now despite my imminent heart surgery for which he will be here for several weeks. ?