Which is more important? I can't decide.

Happy Anniversary kitty.

I don’t see why we can’t have both - kind and sexy - mine is!

KittyL, we forgive you and....... huge congratulations ?. I'm just plain envious.

I find kindness and sense of humour,and genrosity of spirit is sexy,I could be laughed into bed,even now,although all is rusty,I assume it is like riding a bike.
Kindness and gentleness to animals is a must,and a strength of character,he dosent have to be good looking,lived in would do for me,he has eluded me for a few years.

52 53 what's the difference. It's fantastic kitty
I hope you enjoy the day and have many more happy years together.
Ashcombe your "second chance" relationship sounds ideal.

My lovely husband, Brian , was both kind and sexy to me for all of our lives together until his death. Of course life alters as you go on together, but he was always attractive to me, for more than 40 years. As everyone does, we had good and bad times to live through, and at the moment I remember when the mortgage went up to 15% and we had just moved. We had done our sums and worked out what we could manage and then suddenly that was a shock and things were tough. When unexpected stresses arise, it is kindness and sharing that gets you through. Even when he died he donated his corneas and I received a letter telling me that two people could now see , which was a wonderful gift from him. So kindness is a great asset, and for me is such a very important thing as you go through life to help where you can,. So if you are lucky you can have both, but kindness is a blessing from day to day.

I am on my 4th husband and we have been together 13 years . I tell people I kissed a lot of frogs to find my prince and he really is. His kindness understanding and love is never ending . We recently took in our 15 old GD due to family issues and h is the most amazing grandad and also rescues chickens and drives from one end of the country to the other end so they all find homes . Something we love doing . Happy Anniversary Kitty

we have always laughed together, I think that is important too

MissAdventure

I always check how kind a man is to animals.
That is a huge deal to me.

Hitler loved his dogs...

Absence. Got divorced eleven years ago and would never live with, or even be involved with, another man ever again. I love my freedom!

kittylester

I lied. We have been married 52 years today.

Happy Anniversary. You 'beat' us by a few months. Those of us who found 'keepers' with both are very very lucky indeed.

Married 53 years last July. Together 56 years. He is a kind man but has his moments.

Then and now....sense of humour.

I didn't really think my husband was sexy when we started seeing each other but he was very understanding (even though I baffled him) and we could spend hours just talking to each other. He was the first man who I had taken a punt on without being hugely physically attracted to him and it turned out that as I fell in love with him, that side grew. In the past, physical attraction had been huge at the start but soon died as I realised just how unkind the person was.
I can't imagine wanting anybody else, but if anything happened to my husband, physical attraction would be far behind kindness and thoughtfulness.

Are the two mutually exclusive?

As someone who married a kind, generous and very sexy man (now sadly gone). I miss the kindness more. That may be because prostate cancer caused him to lose his ability in the bedroom (cancer and the treatment too) and we lived without that side for over ten years. I discovered how little it means in the context of life or death. I’d give a lot to see his face and hear his voice again.

Compassion and kindness every time. We have been married 53 years next week and he is the gentlest, kindest and most supportive husband in the world to me.

Always kindness. Then and now. DH's kindness made him attractive to me and was in itself sexy.

Kindness. Who finds old men sexy anyway ? unless have a fat wallet and lavish lifestyle, then apparently they become very sexy to anyone from the age of 20 upwards ?

The first time I saw my husband I thought how handsome he was. I still think he is handsome, but the thing that makes our marriage work is his fundamental kindness, decency and ability to make me laugh ❤️❤️❤️

Definitely kindness for me!

Yes, of course there needs to be an attraction between partners, but I think kindness is more important.

jane1956

we have always laughed together, I think that is important too

So have we, he is also kind and never boasts or plays the big I am, looks did come into it and yes if I admit it sexy but it was never the main attraction.

Kindness. Nothing is more important in this world.

I’m grateful to be able to say DH was incredibly kind and patient throughout our fifty five years of marriage (I wish I could say I had been) and “who finds old men sexy anyway?” Well, I did actually - age didn’t come into it. God, I miss him!

Oh, I'm not surprised you do.
I am sorry if I've stirred up unhappy feelings.