Which is more important? I can't decide.

You haven’t, MissA, if that was for me. All the feelings I have for him are happy feelings, and I’m able to put one foot in front of the other because of that?.

That's a gift left behind for you, if ever there was one.

Greyduster

I’m grateful to be able to say DH was incredibly kind and patient throughout our fifty five years of marriage (I wish I could say I had been) and “who finds old men sexy anyway?” Well, I did actually - age didn’t come into it. God, I miss him!

I,m sorry Greyduster the next time I feel like being cross with DH I will remember what you said and be kind. I don't think many of us really appreciate what we have until it's gone. Yes old men can be sexy in their own way especially to a wife who loved them when they were young. 55 years is a long time we are getting near 50 but I knew him 7 before we married it was the seven-year hitch

We all get cross with each other - it would be no kind of relationship if we didn’t - but making up afterward can be a huge pleasure!?

My kind 77 year-old husband is still VERY sexy

Romantic over sexiness as missed out on any real romance when I was young, but kindness at both ages in the long run.

I married my husband when I was 16, he was 21 and he was both kind and sexy, 50 years later he is still sexy but his kindness is what I like about him the most

Definitely kindness, I’m lucky he’s a sexy 58 yr old and so kind and thoughtful. I watch only sometimes these reality shows all about how they look with or without clothes on, what are the young thinking these days beggars belief

I was blessed to have a DH with both.
We were together for 58 years and married for 54 years. He was the most dependable person I ever knew.
I can relate to what Greyduster said, I can only carry on because I have the memories of a wonderful, kind, caring man who told me he loved me every single day.

Would never have married someone who was not both sexy and kind. Luckily my bloke is still both 42 years on after our first passions we're given into! Long may it last ?

I can’t believe you are being serious.
Sexy?
Like a pair of glamorous high heeled shoes
Kind?
Like a pair of forgiving and comfy (but not unattractive) slippers..
In my 80’s I know which pair I would buy.
Not to say DH wasn’t sexy, many people said what a good looking man he was, but for me the inner beauty, the principles, his kindness and love for me and the love we shared, were what mattered.
Anyway I couldn’t even get my feet into ? let alone walk in them. Could you?

Oops I seem to have added a decade to my age!
70’s of course - spring chicken.

I'd say "a seperate house".