Anyone else struggling after returning to the UK?

I didn’t see that. Fleur was just stating a fact. Often the older ones actually revert back to their original language when they are very old,too. Many Dutch, German, Chinese revivals. I think that comment was uncalled for and the perceived racism was just that - perceived .

At my mums home south of London there was not one English native speaking member of staff. The standard of English was generally poor and it was difficult ,even for me to understand. It did concern me as being able to communicate and to be understood is very important especially for those with dementia.
However most staff were kind and caring and some even tried to learn a few phrases in mums native language to be able to communicate with her a little.
Its not racist to say this, it’s fact. Until caring as a career is valued as an important and much needed skill and pay and conditions improve nothing will change. People will be drawn from countries thousands of miles away , separated from their families for long periods, to look after us.

Exactly that in my Mum's care home in Portsmouth, Silverlining48 so being in France really wasn't so different.
The care fees were substantially less here and she qualified
for a benefit of aid as Britain was in Europe at that time.
She had previously had a family life with her Brother and
Sister in law but all being the same age it got hard for everyone.

Sorry about the thread but the croissant fans didn't get a reprimand

Often the older ones actually revert back to their original language when they are very old,too

Are there many very old care home assistants? .

halfpint1

Sorry about the thread but the croissant fans didn't get a reprimand

The croissant fans KNOW they're right, that France is highly superior in that respect!

MawtheMerrier

@Fleurpepper are you implying that care assistants from other ethnic backgrounds are somehow inferior?
You are on very shaky ground.

No I am not, not in any way, shape or form. And I am very sure you know that too. But it is a fact, that many care home workers, excellent and brilliant at their job, do has very strong accents from overseas, and that it can cause issues with some patients, either because they have hearing loss or dementia/Alzheimers.

As for the older ones reverting to their MT, it was abundantly clear in my post that I was speaking about my MIL.

MawtheMerrier

@Fleurpepper are you implying that care assistants from other ethnic backgrounds are somehow inferior?
You are on very shaky ground.

With the OP in mind, and older expats in care homes or hospitals in France (or wherever)- even if they speak good French (Italian, Spanish, whatever)- dealing with strong local accents, or accents from overseas territories, can be very difficult. NOTHING to do with race.

Shaky ground indeed!

Fleurpepper

And of course, in care homes, many carers have very strong non British accents, which can be confusing for advanced dementia/A patients. Again, not the story here, I am quite sure.

You did specify non-British accents which seems at variance with this, below, and you certainly seemed to be talking about care assistants in the UK, otherwise what relevance was there in mentioning the non-Britush accents of the carters ?

With the OP in mind, and older expats in care homes or hospitals in France (or wherever)- even if they speak good French (Italian, Spanish, whatever)- dealing with strong local accents, or accents from overseas territories, can be very difficult. NOTHING to do with race

But whatever, OP and her DH do not have dementia, are not contemplating a care home in France, Belgium, Switzerland or the UK - so bit of a red herring?

The discussion has moved on, and was replying to other posts.

The OP discussed the issue of not feeling comfortable with specialist medical terms in hospitals where they lived abroad, to be a major factor in their decision to move back. Someone mentionned that as expats get older and may require care, this would be an added issue at a later stage.

It was for my MIL in the UK, in her care home. She was an immigrant with another MT- and despite living in the UK for over 50 years, and being a teacher- in advanced Alzheimers she reverted to her childhood MT- and before that, found it extremely confusing to deal with strong 'non-standard' accents.

Out of respect for CountessF, this will be my last post on the subject.

Bonne chance, CountessF.

Callistemon21

^This is not a political thread^.

Worth repeating as it has turned from a thread trying to help and support a Gransnetter into a wholly political, Britain-bashing thread. Very unfair on the poor OP imo.

*This is not a political thread*

but it's not Britain-bashing either

You can do it Joseanne !!
?

Witzend - this is the breakfast I was given by my penfriend's mother when I went alone to France aged 10
?

halfpint1

Sorry about the thread but the croissant fans didn't get a reprimand

They're better in France.

That's why I tried to make some but they were worse than English ones.
Fresh baked ones are OK here (not dunked).

Can I just raise the "C" word...
Croissants are not at all difficult, just time-consuming!
bonne chance!

??

That’s exactly the same as my mum fleurpepper. It’s a cruel disease.
Best wishes to you CountessF.

Live where you are happy.

Grantanow

Live where you are happy.

Moving does cost such a lot, though.

We found somewhere we liked, good location etc but calculated that, by the time we'd made the prospective bungalow as we wanted it and paid all the expenses of moving, any gains from downsizing would be lost plus more.

Just as an aside, our neighbours heard me speaking French a while ago. "How many languages do you speak then"? When replying French, German, Swiss, Flemish and Italian, she remarked "ohhhhh get her". Such attitudes are hurtful and make settling that much more difficult.

Life is too short, buy a nice property abroad, enjoy your lives there. You can always sell up in U.K. later, or return to U.K.
Go and enjoy!!!

CountessFosco

Just as an aside, our neighbours heard me speaking French a while ago. "How many languages do you speak then"? When replying French, German, Swiss, Flemish and Italian, she remarked "ohhhhh get her". Such attitudes are hurtful and make settling that much more difficult.

Don't worry Countess, they were just jealous! I spent 10 years living in rural France, returned in 2014. I don't regret leaving at all, partly because although I could "get by" in French, I struggled with the grammar and was not that fluent. We both found the bureaucracy very time-consuming.

On the leisure front, France has some beautiful chateaux but no National Trust equivalent, so an expensive day out. Also they don't have an open gardens scheme as in the UK - there was a day of gardens opening in early May, and that was it! We love visiting those kinds of places so have made the most of them since returning. Also we love going to retro festivals (80s) etc and seeing live music - we found all of this was limited in France. Same as going to classic car shows etc. Depends on your preferred pastimes I suppose!

No regrets about coming back to the UK at all - much more to do here, especially in the colder months. I think the suggestions on meeting more people via U3A and interest groups are very valid.

We're not all like that, CountessFosco!

It might be a good idea to join some groups eg U3A and find like-minded people where you could perhaps lead some language groups if you felt like it, or learn something new. You'd be welcomed, I'm sure.

You aren’t too old! Come back to Europe - it’s different here. Far more elderly-friendly. And it’s sunnier. They might be keener to visit you for a free holiday!

We have a very good U3A here in France and it is an excellent way of improving fluency and keeping your French up to speed!
We sold our larger property out in the countryside very easily to Parisians during Covid as lots of them were house-hunting for rural properties. We are now happily living in a smaller house near all local facilities. I think making decisions before things get too difficult is key.