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Dog friendly? What would you do?

(421 Posts)
GrannyRose15 Sat 22-Oct-22 13:13:45

I arranged to go out for a countryside walk with a group of friends, some I know well, some I hardly know at all. We were supposed to walk for about an hour and finish up at an eating place for lunch.
Quite a nice cafe style place for lunch with three separate eating areas with same menu; outside area, inside conservatory and inside restaurant.
No dogs allowed in restaurant area but staff quite happy for dogs to stay with you in other areas.
Friends decided to eat in restaurant area even though they knew I couldn't bring my dog in with me.
What would you have done?
1. Tied dog up outside, where you couldn't see him and risk him, or you, getting anxious, and sit and eat with friends.
2. Eat on your own in another area.
3. Go home.
Just wonder what others think.

Bignanny2 Mon 24-Oct-22 12:15:23

Not have taken a dog at all. Inconsiderate to the people that you were walking with to have an animal with them and definitely if you were planning on going somewhere to eat, NO food establishment should let animals into any part of their restaurant!

Blondiescot Mon 24-Oct-22 12:31:16

Bignanny2

Not have taken a dog at all. Inconsiderate to the people that you were walking with to have an animal with them and definitely if you were planning on going somewhere to eat, NO food establishment should let animals into any part of their restaurant!

That's merely your opinion. The FACTS here are that the establishment in question did have dog friendly areas, so how was it in any way inconsiderate of the OP to think that she could take her dog into those areas? If my friends invited me to go for a walk and my dog wasn't welcomed, then they'd be no real friends at all.

Fae1 Mon 24-Oct-22 12:31:54

Sorry Blondiescot. I disagree. The dog wasn't invited on the walk, presumably. It's her choice to bring it. Don't see why the majority should have to compromise and sit in a dog friendly area to suit her. Personally I have a phobia of dogs and would NEVER eat in a restaurant that allows them. Dogs are pets. You don't see people taking their cats, canaries, budgies, rabbits etc. to restaurants!! My answer would be either sit on her own, go home, or join a dog walking group of people. She doesn't know all the walkers well and they might not like dogs.

Theoddbird Mon 24-Oct-22 12:41:07

Glad you chose 3. I would not call these people 'friends'. How awful of them..

DeeDe Mon 24-Oct-22 12:47:26

Sat and eat where my dog can stay with me, then continue enjoying day after all you decided to bring your dog, and why not of course
Would Never leave my dog unattended under any circumstances.

flowerofthewestx2 Mon 24-Oct-22 12:49:27

With friends like that
.....
I would just leave with my dog. How rude of not even one of the party to sit with you in a dog friendly area

sarahcyn Mon 24-Oct-22 12:55:20

3, definitely but also maybe explain to the non-dog-owning friends that it really isn't safe to leave a dog tied up outside a pub or restaurant where you can't see him. As non-dog owners they won't be aware of the risks so this would give them one more chance to be proper friends :-).
Dogs are stolen from these situations every day - just see www.doglost.co.uk

sarahcyn Mon 24-Oct-22 12:56:44

Bignanny2

Not have taken a dog at all. Inconsiderate to the people that you were walking with to have an animal with them and definitely if you were planning on going somewhere to eat, NO food establishment should let animals into any part of their restaurant!

Why on earth not? Most dogs are no more dirty than humans. The law only stipulates that dogs should not be allowed in the food preparation area.

Lauren59 Mon 24-Oct-22 13:02:47

Joseanne

I'm very well behaved. Anyone fancy joining me?

Golden retrievers are the best companions!

sodapop Mon 24-Oct-22 13:04:49

I love my dogs sarahcyn but I don't find it necessary to bring them along everywhere I go. Other people eating in the restaurant may not be comfortable with dogs around. Dogs should be able to spend time alone at home and not have to go everywhere with their owners. This is a general observation not really about the original post.

GranRazz Mon 24-Oct-22 13:07:50

Love me, love my dog. I’d go home and find a new circle of friends. Because they aren’t.

Lathyrus Mon 24-Oct-22 13:09:13

I think it says everything that all those people who are saying “leave and never have them as friends again” actually think that that is some kind of punishment for the other people.

As if they’re being deprived of something by not having the dog and it’s owner with them any more. A sort “there, look what you’ve lost by not putting us first”?

I suppose it’s all part of loving your dog so much you can’t comprehend that others might not feel the same.

GranRazz Mon 24-Oct-22 13:10:03

PS Some of my best friends are dogs. They can be relied on.

Bromley Mon 24-Oct-22 13:12:33

Your ‘friends’ are dreadfully unkind and rude. I would have walked off with my real friend, and never ever walk with them again.

BlueBelle Mon 24-Oct-22 13:23:57

Well Original Poster seems to have gone she’s probably having lunch with some doggy friends as we speak

I don’t think the friends dissed her, probably didn’t even notice she wasn’t with them for dinner It was a big group remember they probably each thought she’d gone straight home after the walk finished

undines Mon 24-Oct-22 13:35:49

I would probably have done the passive-aggressive option, 2! But I'm just wondering how clear you made your position and whether your 'good' friends really worked out what was happening? If you normally tend to slip into the background, the ones who know you might have moved off, chatting, to others who don't know you, and it might just have 'happened" - and maybe if you'd shouted they would have said 'Oh, sorry,' and fallen in line. Just a thought. I would never leave my dogs outside unsupervised, and anyone who thinks you should is thoughtless, at best. You can find better - doggie! - friends who would love to walk with you and lunch at a pub. Pity you're not near me! (Cotswolds)

Lathyrus Mon 24-Oct-22 13:38:05

Bromley

Your ‘friends’ are dreadfully unkind and rude. I would have walked off with my real friend, and never ever walk with them again.

Well maybe it was because they knew that in the scheme of things, their friendship was only second best to that of the dog, that they assumed she would be happy with her “best friend”

And that meant they were free to go and sit with other people that they felt were their best friends.

If you put your dog first, you can’t complain if the people you put second put you second too. People just chose where they wanted to be and who they wanted to be with.

Just like you would chose your dog over your friends, they chose their friends over the dog and it’s owner.If you can do that, why can’t they?

Naughtyneine Mon 24-Oct-22 13:38:20

3 for sure....and I would vote with my feet and join another walking dog friendly group as soon as.... That is no way to treat a friend.. They must have known how much your dog means to you and chose to ignore it. There is a lot to be said by the saying...I wouldn't trust a person who didn't like dogs but I would trust a dog that didn't like a person. Don't let it get to you for too long... It's their loss. ????? forever.

Happysexagenarian Mon 24-Oct-22 13:38:53

I have seen far dirtier humans in restaurants than dogs! Men who pick their noses at the table, women applying makeup, combing their hair and spraying perfume, children wiping their runny noses with their hands then wiping them on the tables or chairs YUK!!

The only 'animal' in a restaurant that I objected to was a very large spider that a woman was wearing like a brooch on her jacket. It was attached to her lapel by a chain and it crawled over her shoulder and arm. I'm terrified of spiders, but I was more worried that it was cruel to the spider! We noticed other diners kept their distance too.

We only take our dog into restaurants or pubs that have dog friendly areas, and only if there are no other dogs there. I'd never leave him tied up outside (anywhere), he wouldn't understand why we'd left him and he might be stolen. He always gets right under the table away from moving feet and chair legs and doesn't bother anyone, in fact we've often had to stop people (especially children) from bothering him because he looks so friendly and strokeable.

undines Mon 24-Oct-22 13:39:04

And it's got nothing to do with loving the dog! It's about consideration for the dog OWNER, especially if there was an option that would have worked for everyone. Leaving that group would not be about punishing anyone (although maybe one or two would have the grace to feel guilty!) - it's about kindness to self and making space in your life for more empathic contacts.

undines Mon 24-Oct-22 13:43:31

Can't see that this is about putting the dog first, or 'before' friends. Everyone could have been accommodated. If these people are so non-doggie it's a pity this wasn't discussed before the outing. I agree that I would trust my dog before such folk, and that many people are far dirtier than dogs! That said, I would not inflict my dogs on those who are uneasy. Fortunately they just sit (hopefully) beneath the table, dozing, waiting for titbits and revelling in any petting that comes their way.

Lathyrus Mon 24-Oct-22 13:45:46

undines

Can't see that this is about putting the dog first, or 'before' friends. Everyone could have been accommodated. If these people are so non-doggie it's a pity this wasn't discussed before the outing. I agree that I would trust my dog before such folk, and that many people are far dirtier than dogs! That said, I would not inflict my dogs on those who are uneasy. Fortunately they just sit (hopefully) beneath the table, dozing, waiting for titbits and revelling in any petting that comes their way.

Can’t you really?

The OP thought everyone to eat in the Conservatory because she wanted to eat with her dog.

How is that not making the dog the most important factor in deciding where to eat

undines Mon 24-Oct-22 13:49:28

Can't see it was 'putting the dog first' to want to eat in the dog-friendly area provided. That's compromise, good-friendship, etc. Also, if you're a dog owner you rarely walk without your dog - seems unfair. But maybe this was about prior communication. Next time I'd make sure I found out what the 'rules' about dogs were, and if I did not like them, vote with my feet! And I agree Goldies are wonderful!

Lathyrus Mon 24-Oct-22 13:52:26

undines

And it's got nothing to do with loving the dog! It's about consideration for the dog OWNER, especially if there was an option that would have worked for everyone. Leaving that group would not be about punishing anyone (although maybe one or two would have the grace to feel guilty!) - it's about kindness to self and making space in your life for more empathic contacts.

Well there wasn’t an option that would have worked for everyone. That’s the point.

The OPs option (eat in an area with dogs) didn’t work for everyone. In fact it only worked for her because nobody else wanted it.

Usually in a group, you go with what most people want, not what suits just one person.

LovelyLady Mon 24-Oct-22 13:53:56

Gone home and text how upset I was.
Ghost these so called friends.
How dare they be so rude.
I’m wondering if they realised you were left out of the meal.